Shaun Suisham Can't Hit A 110 FOOT Field Goal, Let Alone One From 110 Yards

With the departure of Will Leitch, I thought I wouldn't be visiting Deadspin anymore. But, out of habit, I went there during my routine bookmark run-through and saw this video of Redskins "kicker" Shaun Suisham:

This is the same Suisham who missed a 30-yard field goal in the 'Skins Wild Card game in Seattle; a field goal that would have put the team ahead 17-13 early in the 4th quarter. I saw a clip of the botched try at a bar last week (NFL Network was having a retrospective on the 'Skins season) and it seriously bummed me out the rest of the night. Thirty yards.
You know who hits 30-yard field goals? Everyone. Everyone except Shaun Suisham. And now there's some viral video where he makes one from 110? It would have been unbelievable enough if he had made one from 40, let alone 70 yards farther.
What's most amazing is that some commenters on YouTube actually think this is real. (A majority called shenanigans, but then they mucked it up by spelling it wrong.) Some examples:

- they have really clear copies google 110 yard field goal.whaching this 1 i tought it waz fake but after i watched the good copy i think its real!
- basketballtuohy

- omg, its real, its on the news and even yahoo, stfu u whiners, you just jealous
- KamakazPr0ductions

- Oh wait he is kicking off a kicking tee. ust like kicking off. Haven't you seen kickers kickoff deep in endzone. So it's not a FG being held by a holder off turf. Rather a kicking tee which means the whole thing means absolutely nothing.
- TJIRISH44

- well it is possible and it sure seems like he kicked it but i can not tell whether if it was photo shoped or not but it looks real to me. i wish that the cameras were a bit better!!
- RYANNeedr

I'm speechless. Those four people walk among us, probably have driver's licenses and vote. They are with it enough to log onto YouTube, search for a video and write semi-coherently about what they just saw. Yet they think Shaun Suisham can kick a 110-yard field goal.
My favorite is TJIRISH44. The other three are just morons. I pity them. But TJIRISH44 is the worst kind of moron; a moron who thinks he's smart. TJIRISH44 has it figured out. The video is fake; but not because of camera-tricks or editing. No, the video is fake because Suisham's kicking off a tee! Of course! Why Congress isn't beating down TJIRISH44's door in order to get him to solve the energy crisis is baffling.
In conclusion, Shaun Suisham sucks.

Bravo, Roger Goodell...

...Now do something about it.

Goodell on rookie pay: "There's something wrong"

Instant Draft Thoughts

I was out celebrating the engagement of a good friend tonight and was unable to watch any of the NBA Draft. So, imagine my surprise when I get home, flip on ESPN and see that the Bullets drafted some stiff out of Nevada, Darrell Arthur dropped to #27 and Russell Westbrook (?!) went #4. For real. Russell Westbrook; the guy below who looks like Joe Pesci after his hair got burned off in Home Alone.

- Let's start with the Bullets. They took 7'0 JaVale McGee from Nevada with the 18th pick in the first round. JeVale McGee? I wouldn't trust a guy named JaVale McGee to mow my lawn, let alone play in the NBA for me. He's a poor man's Roy Hibbert; which is sad when you consider Roy Hibbert is, at best, a backup center in the NBA.
McGee reminds me of that guy from Bradley who was a lottery bust in the NBA, Patrick O'Bryant. Except that O'Bryant was actually good in college.
Amazingly, I watched a Nevada game this year (in that Bracket Busters weekend) and remember hearing the announcers talk about how McGee was a potential draft pick. McGee then went out and scored 12 garbage points and grabbed 4 rebounds (he's seven feet tall and is grabbing four rebounds against Southern Freakin' Illinois) in a 25-point drubbing at the hands of the Salukis.
Remember Nick Fazekas and Kirk Snyder; those awesome college players who played at Nevada? Well, they're awful in the NBA, yet were ten-times better than JaVale McGee was in college. So do the math.
I always give Ernie Grunfeld the benefit of the doubt, but this has the makings of a terrible pick.
(Update: Grunfeld comes through - he always does - with the Bullets second-round pick. Instead of going with a high-school project or a European we won't see for three years, Grunfeld selected Bill Walker, the highly-touted Kansas State sophomore who blew out his knee last year and dropped from sure-fire lottery status. Had the age-limit not gone into effect before last year's draft, Walker was said to be a top-five pick along with Gren Oden and Kevin Durant. This might be a steal for Ernie and the Bullets.)
(Update x2: The Bullets just traded the rights to Walker to the Celtics... For cash. Forget all the Ernie-praise you read above. Under this rule, could the Bullets sell the rights to Bill Walker to, say, Warren Buffet? And then Buffett could use Bill Walker to get things stuck in really high trees and to do shuttle runs with investment papers?

- Picture it; Los Angeles, early-2008. The UCLA Bruins are in another Final Four and you are breaking down the team by player, in order of importance. Clearly, you begin with Kevin Love, the freshman do-it-all. Next you might talk about Darren Collison - the glue-like point guard - or perhaps you like Josh Shipp, whose injury earlier in the month had threatened to derail UCLA's chances of hoisting another banner into the rafters at Pauley Pavilion. After that, you probably discussed defensive stalwart Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, whose presence was so key to the Bruins tenacious defense. Finally, if you remembered, you'd get around to mentioning Russell Westbrook, the 5th most important player on UCLA last year and the guy that the Seattle Sonics took with the FOURTH pick in this year's NBA Draft. Fourth overall. Russell Westbrook. Yes, you read that correctly.

- National Championship hero Mario Chalmers is still on the board (as of the 33rd pick), yet has had to witness the indignity of seeing former Jayhawk J.R. Giddens taken ahead of him. I bet Chalmers is probably wishing he'd been stabbed right about now.
(Update: The Timberwolves just took Chalmers with the 34th pick in the second round. Adding Chalmers with O.J. Mayo; me likes.)

- What happened to Texas Tech G DeAndre Jordan? Wasn't he supposed to be a first round pick? Did he take lessons from Brady Quinn or something? (Update: Jordan just went 35th to the Clippers. Both the Chalmers and Jordan picks occurred within 15 seconds of me writing about how those guys were still available.)

- The Lopez brothers went #10 and #15 to New Jersey and Phoenix, respectively. Who went where; it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that these top-half-of-the-first-round picks played on a Stanford team that barely beat Marquette in the NCAA Tournament and then got pummeled by Texas. Because, for real, if you have two frontcourt guys that go in the top half of the NBA Draft, shouldn't you be able to handle Marquette with ease?

- The top-three picks of the Draft came from: Memphis, Kansas State and USC. Duke and North Carolina had no players taken the entire night.

- JaVale McGee's mom played in the WNBA. You know when there's amazing material for a joke, but you just can't think of one?

- It's good to see not to many Europeans getting picked these days. Not because i'm xenophobic or anything, I just like seeing known commodities like JaVale McGee getting taken ahead of the Darko Milicic's of the world.

You See What Happens Larry? You See What Happens When You Fight A Stranger In The Alps?!

This is what happens when you hire Kelvin Sampson to be your head basketball coach.

March 31, 2006: I (Don't) Wanna Talk To Sampson!

Thursday Thoughts

- The NBA Draft is tonight and everyone is reporting that Pat Riley might pass up Michael Beasley to trade down for O.J. Mayo. And if he can't find an acceptable trading partner, Riles might just take Mayo at #2, writes Marty Burns of SI.com:

But if Riley can't swing a deal, it is possible he could shock the world and take Mayo at No. 2 anyway. Keep in mind, Riley is one of the few team presidents with the standing and authority to make such a bold decision.

Now, I'd be reluctant to take Beasley or Mayo because they seem like guys who will be content to cash a paycheck and show up at games intent on bettering their own status, not their team's. But I never understand why people flip-out when a team takes somebody "too high". If Riley wants Mayo, he should take Mayo. (Unless he can trade down a little and get his man, plus something in return.) It doesn't matter that everyone thought this was the Rose/Beasley draft. It doesn't matter that everyone has Beasley at #2 on their mock drafts. Riley has to do what's best for his team, and if that means taking a guy at #2 who was projected to go at #4, then that's a perfectly sane thing to do.

- ESPN.com made a list of the best NBA Draft picks at each slot since 1985. It includes this utterly-preposterous selection:

No. 5 overall picks
With all of the talented players selected at this spot over the years, it's difficult to choose the best. We're going with Dwyane Wade ('03), based on his performance as MVP of the 2006 Finals. He beats out Scottie Pippen ('87), a six-time NBA champion and the best wing defender of his generation. Kevin Garnett ('95) has won an MVP award and a title, and he's one of three players in NBA history with career averages of 20 points, 11 rebounds and four assists per game, joining Wilt Chamberlain and Elgin Baylor.
Best pick: Dwyane Wade, Miami, 2003

Wade over Pippen AND KG just because the Mavs choked away the '06 NBA Finals? Simply put, at this moment Pippen and KG are Hall of Famers; Wade is not. He might one day surpass those two players, but today he's not even close to matching what they did in their careers.

- Hmm... Are the Nets clearing up cap room for LeBron?

- Interesting story fawning Obama piece in The New York Times about the presidential candidate's right hand man, Reggie Love. Love, you might not remember, played football and basketball at Duke a few years back. If his playing career is any indication, I guess that means Love works five out of every forty minutes.
This story is written fairly ridiculously; from the fact that it's not mentioned until the 8th graf that Love played football and basketball at Duke (this story probably doesn't get written if Love wasn't a former star athlete) to the third-grade adjectives used to describe people (some examples: Glamorous, cool, efficient, eager, even-tempered, self-controlled). But it's interesting, nonetheless. (Thanks to Joe for the link.)

- Michelle Wie was on the front page of The Washington Post Sports section today, as well as the main picture on the newspaper's website. Why? Because Nike stupidly paid her a lot of money based simply on the fact that she was a pretty good golfer who won the most minor of all major amateur tournaments six years ago.
I've gone into the Wie ridiculousness many times before, so I'm not going to rehash it now, other than to say that Wie posted a 42 on the front-nine of the U.S. Women's Open this morning, after a quintuple-bogey 9 on the ninth hole. Among the 117 golfers ahead of Wie at the moment, 110 women you've never heard of. (Wie is 118th out of 120.)

The Return of Kid Bro Sweets

NFL Network's Rich Eisen sat down with Clinton Portis last night to discuss the inspiration for Clinton's various characters. Portis is surprisingly subdued during the interview, perhaps because he's saving up for tonight's show when he's going to introduce some new characters and allow fans to vote on which one will appear during the upcoming NFL season. (NFL Network; 7:00 p.m.)

Milli Vanilli Lives

* Red Sox relievers Jonathan Papelbon and Manny Delcarmen channel their inner-Milli Vanilli in a new video that was played at Fenway Park during a recent rain delay. Papelbon performs like he celebrates World Series victories (awkwardly), while Delcarmen - who steals the show - clearly is in the wrong business. Thanks to Aaron for the link.

* CNN has a nice little puff-piece on an eight-year old boy who can name every player in Major League Baseball. The kid is fairly impressive, but loses points with the Andruw Jones Braves t-shirt jersey he's wearing. I mean, the kid is a baseball savant yet is parading around in a jersey from 2007? Pops looks like he has some coin; spring for some new gear! Apparently CNN doesn't like web traffic, because they don't have an "embed" option for the video, so you have to click the link (which I think far less people will do than simply clicking play with an embedded video). I like that the kid goes over to his neighbors house to talk baseball. That amused me.

Clutch At Ziggy's

Greetings from Charlotte, NC. I'm writing from the Casa de Wolfman, as we kill some time before heading off to our buddy Scott's wedding rehearsal dinner. The big day is tomorrow. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and give the couple the perfect day they deserve.
Wow; the end of the Croatia/Turkey Eurocup quarterfinal was insane. After 118 scoreless minutes Croatia scored what appeared to be the deciding goal of the match. But then, 1:18 into one minute of bonus time, Turkey scored a crazy equalizer. (They are the kings of late-game goals this tournament). We're into penalty kicks now.
Anyway, I'll get back to posting next week, until then, enjoy Kevin Garnett going crazy after winning the NBA Finals. (Video courtesy Awful Announcing)

Update: Rocco "Wasn't Trying To Get Into Tiger's Head" With Red Shirt

On PTI today, Tony Kornheiser asked Rocco Mediate about whether his decision to wear red during yesterday's thrilling U.S. Open playoff was deliberate. A transcript of Rocco's response:

No the red shirt wasn't deliberate on my part. Here's what I figured - and I figured - Sunday he wore red, right? Why would he wear red on Monday? I'm not sure. I thought red was the Sunday color. So when I got to the range I went down to see him and he goes, "nice shirt". I'm like, "you wore red yesterday". (Laughter) So no, I didn't - I wasn't trying to get in his head - you can't get in his head anyway! So I wasn't trying to do any gamesmanship. Who cares what shirt he has on. But it was pretty funny.

Rocco seems like a pretty genuine guy, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, even if he did answer the question with a little twinkle in his eye. The fact that Mediate admits that he thought about whether Tiger would wear red shows there was at least some planning involved. Like I wrote yesterday; I don't think Rocco was necessarily trying to mess with Tiger's mind by wearing his colors, I think it was more a sign that he wasn't going to allow Tiger to mess with his.

Next Mets Manager: Rich Kotite?

Great column by ESPN.com's Buster Olney on the debacle that is the New York Mets. Just because the Mets front office appears to be incompetent, doesn't mean that Willie Randolph shouldn't have been fired. Frankly, he should have been canned after last season's collapse, if only because everyone knew he'd be fired if the Mets weren't in first place at the season's quarter-mark.
The timing of the firing (at 3:15 this morning) demonstrates how out of touch the Mets front office truly is. They announced it in the middle of the night so the New York tabloids wouldn't be able to mock them on their front pages, but the attempt to sneak it by everyone only makes the Mets brass appear more foolish. This isn't 1988; with the internet you can't dump a story on a Friday afternoon and expect it to be ignored. The Mets fundamental misunderstanding of that concept is Amazin'.
Also, why is Omar Minaya skating on this mess? He's the one who brought in Carlos Delgado, Carlos Beltran and Pedro Martinez for almost $225 million; he was instrumental in hiring Randolph, where is the criticism of him? It could be argued that the Mets (reported) chemistry problems originated from Minaya's devotion to acquiring Hispanic talent. The white/Hispanic tension in the locker room can be traced to that curious (and probably racist) personnel strategy. (Can you imagine if a GM said he wanted to build a team around white or black players?)
No matter who you blame, the Mets ship be sinking. They still have plenty of time to turn it around, but for me it's always entertaining to see front office dysfunction that doesn't involve Dan Snyder and/or Vinny Cerrato.

UPDATE: A friend reminded me that Snyder/Cerrato actually made a similar late-night announcement, albeit in reverse, when they hired Jim Zorn. Ha.

That Was Great

As I've detailed many times on this site, I detest the "instant history" that declares every great, just-completed event as the best ever. Of course the stuff that's just happened always seems like the best; what's most vivid in one's mind is always going to seem better than a hazy memory from year's past. But this year's U.S. Open deserves to be remembered as one of the best golf tournaments of all-time.
It's definitely the best since I started watching golf in the early '90s. The 2000 PGA previously held the title. That tourney featured a younger Tiger Woods holding off a true journeyman in Bob May. (I was upset yesterday and today that NBC (and Johnny Miller, in particular) made Rocco Mediate out to be a huge underdog. He's a guy with multiple wins on the PGA Tour and was once consistently ranked among the world's top 20 golfers. A golf tournament is a lot different than a boxing or tennis match; an underdog always has a chance. Mediate was, of course, the underdog, but not by as much as you'd think.) The recent U.S. Open trumps that PGA for a few reasons; namely because it's the U.S. Open and not the PGA Championship. The PGA is certainly the ugly-stepchild of golf's four majors. It's like the Australian Open in tennis. Nobody really remembers what happens in the PGA. For instance, I had completely forgotten that Tiger won the PGA last year. I don't remember even watching that Tournament.
Also, the 18-hole playoff today provided some unbelievable drama, thus rendering my prediction that the USGA would stop the 18-hole playoff completely off-base. (Note: Today's magic doesn't mean that the playoff is a good idea. It simply means that Tiger Woods playing an underdogged, crowd favorite in a tense battle is always going to be exciting. Driving a car with your feet isn't a good idea either, but it doesn't mean you can't get to your destination that way. Thusly, the playoff is still a bad idea. One awesome playoff doesn't make that any less true.)
To those who say Rocco lost the lead today, I'd just like to remind you that it's an 18 hole playoff, not a 17 hole playoff. Tiger had a lead he blew too. And standing on the teebox of a par 5 up by one stroke on Tiger Woods isn't that much of a lead anyway.
Still, for the first time since he burst onto the scene at the '97 Masters, I was disappointed with a Tiger Woods victory today. Rocco Mediate seems like such a good guy and I was rooting for him today. I was sort of surprised by how disappointed I was when he missed that putt on the 19th hole of the day. (Or maybe that was just my shivering, as I was soaking wet from running in a torrential downpour in between the 18th and 19th - I'll rant about that at some point later.)
Once this playoff went to a playoff, Rocco Mediate was assured of a place in history. Everyone will remember that Tiger Woods won this U.S. Open, but Rocco's name will be said in tandem with Tiger's every time the '08 Open is brought up. I'm sure that's little consolation today.

* After watching the first 15 holes from my favorite chair in my family room, I was forced out of my house after my Comcast digital cable cut out on me. Why my cable never cuts out during a lazy Saturday afternoon, I don't know. It always seems to go during Redskins games or important sporting events.
Instead of waiting around to become more infuriated, I sped to a Bethesda sports bar to watch the final four holes. I walked in with an older gentleman and we sat at a table, ordered a beer and talked some golf. My buddy Klinny joined us soon after.
Then, as the players were on the 18th green, the bar's DirecTV went out. We were in the dark. All the guys at the bar who had ditched out of work early were in an uproar. I called my cousin who gave us all the news that Tiger had made birdie to Rocco's par.
After that, everyone bolted into the torrential downpour to find another bar at which to watch the playoff. Klinny and I stumbled upon a new sushi place and settled in, soaking wet, to watch what would be just a one-hole affair.
You might think I'd be upset after such an ordeal but, all in all, it was a pretty great way to spend a Monday afternoon.

Rocco Is Wearing Red

As expected, Tiger Woods is wearing his customary Sunday red for today's U.S. Open playoff. But so is Rocco Mediate, sort of. Rocco has on a long sleeve red shirt with a black sweater vest on top. Game on.
Rocco's decision to wear red isn't exactly like the proposal I put forth a few years back, but it's still pretty good. Here's what I wrote after the Open in 2005:

Golf is the most civilized of games. Professional golfers keep score for their opponents, they never trash-talk and rarely do anything that could be possibly interpreted as distasteful while on the course.
Yet, golf is a game where intimidation is crucial. Playing the final round of the Masters takes a little over four hours, but of those four hours, only about two minutes are spent actually hitting the ball. For the rest of the time, a golfer is all alone with his thoughts. If he allows scoreboard watching, delusions of grandeur, the distance of his playing partners tee shot, the blonde with the fake boobs on the 13th hole or any other stray thought to enter his head, it would absolutely affect any golfer's play.
The great players can tune out most everything; but even Tiger Woods snaps when he hears the "click" of a camera shutter.
Speaking of Tiger; he's the most intimidating golfer of them all. When he steps to the tee in the final round of any tournament, the rest of the field takes notice.
Tiger's been beaten in the final round before and has had some lesser known players challenge him on Sundays, but on the whole nobody has gotten in Tiger's head... until now.
Here's my idea (if only I were a professional golfer):
If I were paired with Tiger in the final round of a major, I would wear a windbreaker to the first tee. For the sake of this discussion, let's say I'd tee-off second, but it really doesn't matter.
During the obligatory handshake and banter I would never look Tiger in the eye, instead focusing my eyes on some inanimate object in the background. Then, I'd go back to my bag and watch him tee-off. When our paths would cross as I moved toward the tee, I'd mutter "nice shot... bitch" almost inaudibly so that Tiger would have to ask himself what he really heard. By the time he figured out what I said, my driver would be out and I'd be placing my ball into the ground.
After taking a huge swing and watching my ball land safely in the fairway, I'd turn towards Tiger, stare at him for a split second, then remove my windbreaker to reveal a red Nike shirt. I'd then throw the windbreaker to the ground, yell "what?" at Tiger, in a way that would suggest Tiger better back the hell up before he gets smacked the hell up.
After this, I'd walk down the fairway at a brisk pace and never look at Tiger again the entire round.
Man, this would be sweet... and somebody should seriously do this. OK, maybe not the insults and the throw-down, but there's gotta be someone out there with enough stones to put on a red Nike shirt on Sunday at a major. Tiger wears that shirt to intimidate everyone else, why shouldn't he get a taste of his own medicine?
Not only would this mess with Tiger's head (no matter how Tiger reacted to the shirt, it would break his concentration for a split second and put a new thought in his head seconds before the final round of a major), but it would be a marketing coup and companies would be lining up to sign golf's "bad boy" (it's a relative term) to endorsement deals.
This is a million-dollar idea; maybe my best ever. Although I still think 24-Hour Fun Day is a winner too.

If you think it's an accident that Rocco wore red today, you're kidding yourself. I doubt he wore it to intimidate Tiger, but more as a sign that he himself will not cower in Tiger's presence.

Wow

What made Tiger Woods' birdie putt on the 18th hole of the U.S. Open so special was that, for once, it seemed like Tiger might not come through. He was fallible today; from his inadvised shot at 13 to the wayward tee and bunker shots on 18. Even though he put his third shot within 18 feet of the cup, it was fathomable that Tiger could lose down the stretch. Of course, he didn't.
It's just too bad that the USGA still stands by its antiquated 18-hole Monday playoff. There was so much momentum after Tiger's putt today, it would have been great if it could have kept going for four holes. (No sudden death; the Europeans have it right with their four hole aggregate system.) And this comes from someone who's going to be able to watch the playoff tomorrow. Most people won't be able to, which is a pretty big buzzkill after such an exciting tournament.
My prediction: The USGA will end the 18-hole Monday playoff system within the next year. I know they are slaves to tradition, but the negative reaction to the 18-hole playoff will be deafening after tomorrow, particularly if Tiger (or Rocco, I suppose) runs away with it.

Tiger Tiger Woods, Y'All

In a way, Tiger's round today was every bit as impressive as any he had at the '97 Masters or 2000 U.S. Open. It was certainly more exciting. Wow. That back nine was insane; an eagle bomb on 13, a one-hop chip-in at 17 that turned bogey into birdie and the looping eagle putt to close the day at 18, good for a third-round 70 and the U.S. Open lead heading into Sunday.
Oh, and Tiger was in visible pain after most of his shots of the back-nine today. And we're not talking fake Kobe/Paul Pierce pain; he's hurting (and doesn't seem to be milking it). As someone who has played golf with a bad left leg, I can tell you it's not easy. My pain isn't related to the knee, and I certainly don't generate the torque and pressure that Tiger does, but when it hurts, it hurts. The pain doesn't affect you until it does, if that makes any sense. (Right after I wrote that, Tiger essentially said the same thing to Roger Maltbie.) And I ride in a cart.
NBC really got lucky with their coverage tonight. Golf in primetime could have been a disaster if Tiger wasn't in contention, but he was and put on a show that will go down in Tiger lore as one of his most exciting ever.
That was awesome. Hopefully tomorrow's final round will live up to its high expectations.

Tim Russert: 1950-2008

One of my favorite weekly traditions is getting up on Sunday morning, making some coffee, reading The Washington Post and The New York Times cover-to-cover and then moving over to the couch to watch Meet The Press at 10:30. It's sad to think that the final part of that morning routine will no longer be the same after the shocking death of Tim Russert.
I follow politics, but am not a political junkie. The only reason I watched Meet The Press was because of its gregarious host; a man who asked the hard questions to both Republicans and Democrats but remained affable throughout. His was the only show where politicians sounded like real people; mainly because Russert cut through the BS with his well-researched questions that, while always fair, demanded a real answer. The upcoming presidential race will feel empty without Russert's Sunday morning chats or his whiteboard electoral vote updates on Election Day.
In 1998 I was at a Bob Dylan concert in suburban DC when a robust gentleman squeezed by me to sit in the vacant chair to my right. He politely apologized for making us get up in the middle of the show (Bob was in his second or third song at that point), and then began watching Dylan perform. It wasn't until a few songs later that I realized I was sitting next to Tim Russert. I gave him the up-nod of recognition, he responded with the down-nod of appreciation. Then, later in the show I heard him say to his friend, "I hope he plays 'Just Like A Woman'". I interjected, letting Russert know that Bob usually played that song in the middle of the setlist or not at all. He gave a quick 'thanks', accompanied by an amused look that seemed to indicate a sort of surprise that somebody would know the song positioning in previous Dylan shows. When the opening bars of 'Just Like a Woman' came during the seventh song of the night, Russert quickly looked at me, gave the nod of respect and then went back to enjoying the song he had wanted to hear most that night.
I'm listening to it now.

A Boswell Gem

I had three emails waiting from me in my Inbox this morning; one from The Wolfman regarding a picture text I sent him of a guy I saw wearing a Ron Paulus jersey last night, and the other two about how great Thomas Boswell's column was in this morning's Washington Post. Having just finished said column, I can agree. It begins:

By the time the three best golfers in the world had played a few holes on Thursday, the ominous early-morning mist off the Pacific, called the "June Gloom" here, had burned away and a Southern California surf's-up sun in a cloudless sky set the thermostat at 70 degrees. Thus perfection, or at least golf's version, was achieved here at the U.S. Open.

Even if you're not a fan of golf, take a few minutes and read the whole thing.

Sasha Vujecic... Wow, Somebody PAYS Him To Play Basketball

If you were Sasha Vujecic, you think you'd have given up after you realized your name was Sasha. But since that apparently didn't happen, the fact that Ray Freakin Allen blew past you to score a season-ending basket probably provides enough impetus to throw in the towel. Ray Allen. For real. He hasn't dribble-drived anyone that bad since Jesus Shuttlesworth blew past Denzel at the end of He Got Game. Damn, Sasha... Ray Allen! My great aunt could guard Ray Allen. Oh, that was so pathetic. I watched that play in a D.C. area bar and the whole place let out a collective "awwwwwww" after that bucket; a sort of public shaming . Even though my ancestors lived more than 500 miles away from where Vujecic grew up, I was still ashamed. He's giving all the Balkan states a bad name.
So I just looked up Sasha Vujecic and discovered I'm spelling his name wrong. And you know what? I don't care. Sasha Vujecic doesn't deserve to have his name spelled correctly. He let 97-year old Ray Allen blow past him like M.J. in his prime, and I'm supposed to Google his name so I can get the spelling down pat? Screw that! Good thing perestrokia happened, because with morons like Sasha Vujecic running Yugoslavia, they'd probably still be looking towards Moscow for direction.
Man, does Sasha Vujecic suck. Like, for real, if you didn't see the play, Vujecic, for all intents and purposes, handed Boston the NBA Championship because he can't defend RAY ALLEN. Oh, it was so weak. What a tool.

More ACC Expansion?

This is old but, in what is becoming a yearly ritual, ACC athletic directors discussed increasing the conference basketball schedule from 16 games to 18 games in their meetings last month in Florida. No decisions were made, but it appears likely that the ADs will seriously consider such a move when negotiating their next television contract (the current one ends after the 2010-2011 seasons).
What do I think about this proposed move? To be honest, I'm not sure. If there were ten teams in the league, the jump to 18 conference games (which would allow each school to play each other in a home/home) would be a no-brainer. I'm not sure it matters too much with 12 teams. If they increase the conference slate, the schedule is still going to be unbalanced, Virginia Tech, Miami and Boston College still won't belong, the ACC Football Championship still will be an uninteresting bore and John Swofford still will be a money-grubbing fool. Expanding the schedule doesn't change any of that.
If I had to choose, I'd probably agree with the coaches and say that keeping the 16-game schedule is better for the schools in the conference. That the wishes of coaches are even being considered in regards to this move is slightly amusing to me. From the News Observer story:

ACC athletic directors are expected to discuss the issue at the conference's spring meetings, May 11-14 at Amelia Island, Fla. A year ago, they considered expanding to 18 conference games but shelved the idea because of strong opposition from ACC coaches.
The coaches have been wary that 18 conference games would make their schedule too challenging and cause them to be reluctant to schedule attractive non-conference games.

In other news, dog bites man.
Of COURSE coaches don't like the move; it takes away two guaranteed wins from their record every year. Instead of playing South Carolina St. and Longwood, ACC teams would have to play another game against Duke and Virginia. Coaches are only interested in self-preservation. This is why Jim Boeheim wants to expand the NCAA Tournament to 128 teams.
In the end, it doesn't really matter what's best for the conference. If Raycom and ESPN will pay more money for two more conference games, there's no doubt that John Swofford will take the bait.

Manny Acta Better Check His Text Messages

I don't write too much about the Nationals on this site because, frankly, nobody cares about the Nationals. I mean, I do, but I'm in a vast minority, even here in D.C.. Of all the people I know, I'd only classify three people as Nats fans, and one of those only recently jumped aboard. The other two are my cousins; guys I've been going to games with since way back in aught-five.
Once the Nats get good (I hope this day will come at some point), they'll be the hottest ticket in town, but until then, the Nats exist only to pass the time between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of Redskins training camp. (Even though this is a Redskins town, tickets to games are no longer "hot", as a 90,000 seat stadium floods the market with easy-to-purchase seats, even to big games.)
Because of this Natpathy, I don't feel the need to bore you with my thoughts on Manny Acta's managing, the inexplicably poor fundamentals of the team's young outfielders or all of my rants about Jim Bowden. However, the video below is something everyone can enjoy.

That's troubled outfielder Elijiah Dukes (he of "you dead, dawg" fame) in the shouting match with manager Manny Acta. As my cousin George said of the video, "man, Manny's really giving it to T-Bone." From The Washington Times:

But the aftermath of Milledge's homer, which featured manager Manny Acta chastising outfielder Elijah Dukes (who had begun the rally with a double off the right-center wall) for displaying too much emotion, put at least a slight damper on the evening's proceedings.
As Dukes and Milledge crossed the plate, Dukes looked back at Capps (who blew his first save in 16 tries this season) in a move that could have been perceived as taunting the opposing pitcher.
When Dukes returned to the dugout, Acta had words for him. Dukes yelled back at his manager, prompting Acta to yell back himself and players to get between the two.
Dukes later took his position in right field for the bottom of the ninth with a menacing glare in his eyes, forcing Milledge at one point to come over and try to calm him down.
As the Nationals gathered in the middle of the diamond to congratulate each other at the conclusion of the game, Dukes did not offer his hand to Acta, who only smirked.
Dukes was not made available in the Nationals' clubhouse after the game.
Several players bristled when asked about the incident."It was just a little misunderstanding in the dugout that I'm not going to elaborate on," Acta said. "We talked, and everything is fine."

First of all, in the four years I've written this blog, that's the first time I've ever linked to anything in The Washington Times. They have a new editor over there; maybe it's helping. Or maybe the new Nats beat guy for The Washington Post isn't up to snuff. (Mr. Irrelevant links to a quote from that beat writer, Chico Harlan, where he apologizes for not writing about the story, saying simply "I missed it", which endears me to him much more than if he had made some lame excuse that was intended to cover his ass.)
Secondly, that's the most emotion I've ever seen out of Manny Acta. Come to think of it, that's the only emotion I've ever seen out of Manny Acta. Every time the camera cuts to him in the dugout - whether it be after a homerun or a blown call on the basepaths - Acta is staring straight ahead with his arms crossed, looking as if he's trying to win a staring contest with a wall.
Thirdly, that clip of Dukes and Acta came from the Pirates broadcast of the game, not from MASN's Nationals coverage. To my knowledge, the guys in the booth (I think Bob Carpenter was partnered with Ray Knight and not Don Sutton last night) never mentioned the tiff in the dugout, presumably (or maybe, hopefully) because they didn't know about it. That's a pretty big miss. (If they did miss it, I wasn't listening too intently to the broadcast, but I'm pretty sure I would have heard them talking about an argument in the dugout. Perhaps the studio guys talked about the dust-up in the post-game show, I don't know.)
Lastly, I don't think the Nationals ever want to see the words "Elijiah Dukes" and "menacing glare in his eyes" in the same news story ever again.

Hawkeye Gets The Stinkeye From ABC That's Not Donald Sutherland

I still can't believe Donald Sutherland doesn't get any love when ABC is scanning through celebrities at the Lakers game. The man starred in MASH, The Dirty Dozen and Animal House. He's a Hollywood legend; yet somehow Timothy Hutton is getting name-dropped by Jeff Van Gundy. Hey Van Gundy; didn't your mother ever tell you to respect your elders? Especially elders that could kick your ass because they were, as I said, in The Dirty Dozen.
To add insult to injury, Donald is always in the shot when the montage of celebrities in attendance concludes with its inevitable zoom-in on Jack Nicholson. Since The Suth is sitting right next to his long-time friend, this is a proverbial slap in the face; assuming that, at some point in Proverbs, David slapped Solomon upside the head.
So not only is Sutherland not getting any recognition, but he's actually getting ignored too when he's on camera but not getting recognized just because a bigger star happens to be in the shot. If Brad and Angelina can share a frame without incident, I don't see why Donald has to be cut out simply because Jack's there.
Alas, we get no Donald mentions. But, yes, please show me Hillary Duff again. Even though Hillary Duff barely exists anymore other than to answer the question, "who was that chick on the Disney Channel a while back - no, not Hannah Montana - oh, right - Hillary Duff."
Look, I know Sutherland wasn't the best actor nor is he particularly well-known today. But he has worked with all the legends, is a Hollywood fixture, has courtside seats and has been chasing tail with Nicholson for over 40 years. That last one alone makes the man a legend. Let's give him his due instead of sitting idly by while the only camera time The Suth gets is when the camera pans from Nicholson to Dyan Cannon. (And seriously, what the hell has Dyan Cannon done ever to get so much Lakers love. As far as I know, Dyan Cannon is only famous because she goes to Lakers game.)
Case in point; a Google Image search for "Donald Sutherland Lakers" brings up no usable pictures of Sutherland sitting courtside. However, a search for "Jack Nicholson Lakers" brings a plethora of shots of Nicholson with Sutherland appearing in the background. Clearly, Nicholson should have more hits; but you'd think Sutherland would at least get mentioned in one or two of them.
You would think, but then you'd be distracted by yet another shot of Spike Lee. Hey Spike, the Knicks suck, so go back to New York and shut your face. (Now if Clint were at the games, I think he'd even have Nicholson beat.)

UPDATE: A commenter has informed me as to why TV networks never mention Donald Sutherland's name during the games... Because that guy isn't Donald Sutherland. Apparently his name is Lou Adler, a record/movie producer who's been buddies with Nicholson for years. That's my bad. Although, can you blame me for thinking Adler was Sutherland?
(You know what the worst part is, I'm almost positive I've heard that the guy sitting next to Nicholson was named Lou Adler before. I guess I blocked that out because, presumably, I really wanted Nicholson and Sutherland to be best buds.)

High Tension Cables And Skateboarding Don't Mix

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. (via With Leather)

http://view.break.com/516659 - Watch more free videos

The NBA Finals: Where Phony Injuries And Falling Asleep In Front Of The TV Happens

It's 9:08 on a Sunday night and Game 2 of the NBA Finals has yet to tip-off. This is baffling to me. Oh, I understand the misguided logic behind playing this game in the outer-reaches of primetime, but I don't think it's in the best interest of either the league or its broadcast partner, ABC.
I'm not the only one either. I've had a few conversations this weekend about the NBA and they've all centered around one of three things:
1) This whole Paul Pierce thing is a joke.
2) Having two full days off between Games 1 and 2 is stupid.
3) Games starting at 9:10 on the east coast forces many casual fans to miss the end of the game.
First things first: Everyone's dogging Pierce for the "injury" he suffered on Thursday night that forced him to be carried off the court by teammates and wheeled to the locker room by the Celtics medical staff. (Pierce bounded to the court ten minutes later looking fine, then showed up at Friday's press conference limping like a Korean War vet.) I'm happy that people are calling Pierce out for what appear to be some shenanigans, but I think many commentators are incorrect in assuming that the whole thing was a charade.
I think Pierce went down hard, felt some sharp pain in his leg and immediately assumed the worst. At some point he realized he was fine, but kept things going either because it was too late to turn back and show everyone that he was overreacting in the first place.
Needless to say, the news that Pierce would be playing tonight was the least surprising headline since "Thurman Suspended By NFL".
But back to the late starting times; the NBA and ABC do this because of ad money, of course. Except I find it hard to believe that ending games past 11:30 on work/school nights brings in the most viewers. What would have been wrong with playing a late-afternoon game today? The 4:00 NFL games often pull in more viewers than either the Sunday night or Monday night tilts; why can't the NBA do the same? Start the game at 7:00; that's plenty early for the east coast and fine for the west coast. What's good for the NFL has to be good for the NBA. Stern would kill for half the viewers the NFL routinely pulls in.
Anyway, with NBA games routinely lasting 3+ hours this postseason, the league needs to do something about these late starting times. And, yes, I know I sound like an old fogie.

Sarah Jessica Parker Wouldn't Have Choked Like Big Brown

Why does there need to be a reason that Big Brown came in last at the Belmont? In the aftermath of the horse's disappointing finish yesterday, everyone seems to be looking for an answer that would explain the bad run.
But assuming that the race wasn't thrown (which is preposterous, since winning a Triple Crown would be FAR more lucrative than the amount somebody could win betting against a horse), why couldn't the horse just have had a bad day? I mean, it's not like people were comparing Big Brown to Secretariat; is it so ludicrous to assume that the thoroughbred just wasn't that good? Either that, or he was part of A Rod's bloodline?

Big Brown Won't Not Win The Triple Crown... Or Won't He?

Two of the easiest, and most prescient, predictions I've ever made on this blog were that Smarty Jones and Funny Cide would not win horse racing's Triple Crown. I was certain of it.These prognostications weren't influenced by speed, track length, competitors or track conditions; rather, they were based on a simple belief: No horse with a name as stupid as Smarty Jones or Funny Cide could ever win the Triple Crown.
Secretariat. Seattle Slew. Affirmed. War Admiral. Citation. Assault. Gallant Fox. Those are the names of Triple Crown winners. Funny Cide didn't stand a chance.
So where does this leave Big Brown? Clearly his name isn't in the same league with Affirmed, Citation and Assault; evocative monikers that command respect. But Big Brown isn't as stupid a name as Smarty Jones either. I think this means that Big Brown can win the Triple Crown; its name doesn't automatically disqualify it, and it's possible that the name will become stronger (a la Secretariat) once there is some history attached to it.

* On the four days a year that horse racing means something in this country, Andy Beyer's columns in The Washington Post are must-reads. Take a look.

* Note: The picture above may, or may not, be Big Brown.

Vote For Jaffe

This site's banner was designed by my old friend of mine. I say "old" because I just found out he's cheating on me; cheating on all of us, really. Jaf is also designing banners for MGoBlog, the well-renowned University of Michigan sports blog. They're having a banner contest over there and Jaf's submission is one of eight remaining. So, even though Jaf is two-timing us, remember the good times we all had and go cast your vote for him. (His is Battle 4.) Jaffe in '08.

Kobe

I knock Bill Simmons frequently, but not when it comes to his NBA writing. His Finals preview that appears today on ESPN.com is worth the read, mainly because I couldn't agree more with his main point: That Kobe Bryant is still the same guy who demanded a trade ten months ago, has been a terrible teammate all his career and is, by all accounts, a complete jerk.
Just because the Lakers got Pau Gasol and Kobe calmed down a bit doesn't mean he's changed; it just means that he's not complaining as much publicly. Remember, when Kobe and Shaq were winning their first title together, nobody was talking about a feud between the two. Everyone can fake it for a year or two before their true colors start to show.
That's my main problem with Kobe: He's fake. I can't stand fake people. Everything about him, from his affect to his phony laughter to his wanna-be-MJ grimaces and tongue-wagging - it's all a put-on. He's disingenuous. Kobe was talking to the TNT guys a few weeks back and they played a spoof clip of Kenny Smith jumping over a car (a la Kobe, in that viral Nike ad). Just watch Kobe's reaction:

Ugh. The fake laughter kills me.

This dislike of Kobe doesn't mean I don't appreciate watching him play basketball. Actually, besides Chris Paul and Gilbert Arenas, Kobe is the guy I like watching most in the NBA. But I don't understand why the media wants to make me love Kobe the Man. What's wrong with just loving Kobe the Baller? He's the best player in the NBA. Isn't that enough?
That's the recurring theme in Simmons column; Kobe is great, but he still has all the flaws that he's carried since his first day in the league. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that either. (Unless you're a Lakers fan.)

The Nats Stop For No Severe Weather System

Beginning at around 3:30 this afternoon, the D.C. area was hit with a severe weather system that included heavy rain, high winds, widespread lightning strikes and damaging hail. As a result there were tornado warnings, downed power lines, unprecedented traffic delays. The visibility and backups got so bad during the brunt of the storm that I pulled my car over into a neighborhood to wait it out. It was said to be some of the worst weather the area has seen in nearly a decade.
That first storm only lasted for about 20 minutes, upon which the skies cleared for about an hour. Then the clouds rolled in again and at around 6:30, the storms picked back up. It's now 10:30 and the rain hasn't stopped. Over 70 schools in my county are without power, so they canceled school tomorrow for everyone. (It's like a snow day, only better. I might play golf, might hit up a lunch happy hour; the possibilities are endless. It's most probable that I'll sit on the couch watching Die Hard 4, but the point is, I have that option.)
From the previous two paragraphs, you might have gathered that the weather in the D.C. area tonight wasn't conducive to hosting a baseball game. My cousin and I figured this out around 4:00, figuring that it didn't make sense for us to go to the Nats/Cardinals game this evening - evne though we had tickets - because it would probably be canceled. When it was pouring at 7:05, our thoughts were confirmed.
Only, the game wasn't canceled at 7:05. Or at 8:05. Or even at 9:05. For nearly three hours, the Nats brass kept tonight's game in a rain delay, despite torrential downpours and a front on the Doppler that was as big and red as the Kool-Ade man. It took the team until 9:47 to make the same determination that my cousin and I had six hours before: There was no way baseball was being played in the Nation's Capital.
What took so long? Did they really think it'd be any better at 9:30 than it was at 8:30? Even if it was, it has to take about 30 minutes to get the tarp off, lay down some dirt and warm everybody up. They'd have been starting at 10:00 at the earliest.
Yet the team was so reluctant to call the game. Why? Making up the game with a day-night doubleheader tomorrow would be easy. Is the Nats brass really that frightened about hosting a day game in the middle of the work week? Don't they realize that nobody is going to show up anyway? And let's not forget the danger the team put fans in by keeping them in an open-air stadium for 162 minutes as they tried to out-stubborn Mother Nature.
Normally I'd be nterested to hear who was responsible for this easily-avoided mess, but seeing as how I've already assigned all blame towards Jim Bowden, it really doesn't matter.

36 Helmets Too Many

The always-solid ACC helmet schedule grid (click on the picture for a bigger version):


I'm always amazed by the softness of some team's non-conference schedules. And by "some teams" I mean "Virginia Tech". What, Frank Beamer thought his squad was getting too many tough tests in the Coastal Division that they need to buffer the like of Duke and North Carolina with Furman and Western Kentucky? At least they're going to Nebraska, but still. That team is projected to be a National Title contender (ha!) and their first six games include four home dates with Furman, East Carolina and Western Kentucky??!
Maryland's schedule might be weak, but at least Ralph Friedgen has the balls to take his team to Middle Tennessee State. Virginia has USC and a road trip to Connecticut on their NCS. Clemson has both Alabama and South Carolina, while Wake Forest is the only school to play four Division I-A opponents.
Their sked is a little strange though; two early bye weeks force the Deacs into playing their final seven conference games on consecutive weeks from October 11 to November 22, topped off with a trip to Vanderbilt on Thanksgiving weekend. It's all for TV; their second bye week comes before a nationally televised Thursday night tilt with Clemson. This only furthers my point that I still hate John Swofford.

Criticism At Its Finest

Anthony Lane on the Sex and the City movie. It's gold, everyone. Gold.

He'll Also Be Walking On Water At That Point

SI.com listed the 50 highest-earning athletes in the United States. The list mainly demonstrates how unbelievably stupid NBA general managers are as Michael Finley, Jason Kidd, Jermaine O'Neal, Steve Francis, Shawn Marion, Ray Allen, Rashard Lewis, Antawn Jamison and Ben Wallace are all on the list). But it was one line from the story's author, Jonah Freedman, that was perhaps most ridiculous of all.

In the futures department, we tab the likes of Danica Patrick, Chris Paul and Joba Chamberlin to someday soon make the 50 in our Future Fortunate photo gallery.

He has to be joking, right? Up until two hours ago, Joba Chamberlin was the set-up man on the Yankees. Now he's a 22-year old trying to make the transition from the bullpen to the starting rotation. Ignoring the fact that Joba walked four in just 2 1/3 innings tonight; to predict that he might one day being among the highest paid athletes in sports is going from point A to point ZZZ instantaneously. It'd be like your local paper pegging a guy who just won a seat in the State Senate as a future president. (Hmm, maybe that's a bad analogy.)
There's only one pitcher total on the top 50