TK Talks To The "Blog People"

The Big Lead posted a pretty good interview with Tony Kornheiser today. If you're only familiar with Kornheiser's work on PTI and in the Monday Night Football booth, this interview shows the side of TK that used to come out in his Post columns and can currently be heard every weekday morning on D.C.'s 3WT radio station. He's funny, thoughtful and, of course, acerbic; traits that never come out on MNF and are surprisingly diminished on PTI. (Not to say that Kornheiser isn't those things on PTI, but he's at his best when given time to expound; as he did this morning on his radio show about plans for a publicly financed soccer stadium in D.C.)

At Least He's Not A Receiver

Friday, May 23: Vikings waive DE James after troubled, injury-ridden career
Tuesday, May 27: Vikings send injured DE James to Redskins for conditional pick

The latter article begins:

On Friday, the Minnesota Vikings informed Erasmus James that they planned to release him. James was an injured defensive end without a home.
Now, he's a member of the Washington Redskins
Redskins executive vice president Vinny Cerato called Vikings coach Brad Childress Tuesday and convinced him to trade James instead of releasing him. In exchange for James, the Vikings will receive a conditional seventh-round pick in 2009.

This is the part where I give Vinny Cerrato a sarcastic standing ovation. This is the football equivalent of Cerrato driving past a guy who's moving an old couch on the street, Cerrato inquiring about the couch and the guy saying, "if you want it, take it", to which Vinny replys, "I'LL GIVE YOU $20!"
Alright, it's not that bad. James would have gone out on the waiver wire and some teams were interested in him, according to his agent. (I, for one, believe his agent whole-heartedly. After all, what reason would he have to lie?!)
The funniest part of the whole thing is that the Vikings would have released James on Friday, but they missed the 4:00 p.m. deadline, so they had to wait until the holiday weekend was over to cut him loose. In the interim, Vinny Cerrato offered the seventh-round pick, presumably to get ahead of all those other teams that were interested in the former first-round pick. What is it about the Vikings and not getting things done on time? Has the team's front office been spending too much time with Onterrio Smith?
Anyway, this is a low-risk move. It will probably result in James being cut in early August, but who knows, maybe Vinny will win this one. You know what they say about broken clocks.

The Spurs Will Never Recover From This 2-0 Deficit (Part 2)

Two articles to enjoy on this Memorial Day weekend:

1) Like Jamie from Mr. Irrelevant, I wasn't too familiar with Pat Jordan's work until his piece on Jose Canseco was published on Deadspin. Since then, I've stumbled across his work while killing time on the SI Vault and noticed how much better sports profiles were back in the day. However, I wasn't sure whether this was just my prevailing "older is better" mentality that I extend to film, music and women or whether it was actually true. In a new Slate piece, Jordan explains why it's the latter. After you're done reading that, check out the Tom Seaver article he references; it's fantastic.

2) From The New Yorker; a brief history of the hangover.

3) And none of these are worth the read, but all the sky-is-falling columns about how the Spurs are done because they're down 2-0 to the Lakers are ridiculous. Didn't the Spurs just come back from down 0-2 in their last series? And haven't road teams have won, what, three games in the past three weeks? I'm not saying San Antonio shouldn't be concerned, but the one thing we should all take from these NBA Playoffs is that a series doesn't truly begin until a team loses at home.

4) A happy 67th birthday to Bob Dylan. He'll be celebrating in Newfoundland this evening by playing his fifth show in six nights. Because I couldn't find a good YouTube clip of my favorite Dylan song ("Mississippi"), here's the best live performance of my second favorite:

On that note, I'm off to play some golf. Enjoy the weekend.

Maryland Basketball Saved From Itself

Remember the Juco-transfer with the mile-long rap sheet that Gary Williams signed at Maryland? Well, it turns out that somebody at Maryland has some sense and put the kibosh on the whole thing. (I know the story says that Evans made the decision himself, but read between the lines.) Even though this is the right call, I think it actually makes Maryland's basketball program more pathetic. Now Gary Williams has less power than some guy on the admissions board. That's pretty sad.

Didn't Michael Vick Go To Jail For Threatening Dawgs?

Chris Jones writes a nice piece in ESPN Magazine on mercurial Nats outfielder Elijiah Dukes, he of the infamous "you dead, dawg" voicemails to his baby's mama. Jones' contemplative look at the troubled Dukes is worth the read, but leaves gobs of details out, two main ones in particular.

1) This was the voicemail Dukes left for the mother of two of his children after he belligerently barged into the middle school classroom in which she was teaching:

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."

Good gracious. That sounds like something out of The Wire. That's not like a drunk guy making a stupid threat on a girlfriend's phone. That message is like a felony in and of itself, brotha.
I've broken down the message into various parts to try and see what it's like to get in the head of a man like Elijiah Dukes:

Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg.
Apparently Dukes took one of those Business Prosperity courses where you're taught to repeat the name of an individual you just met in order to have better recall of the name later on. In this case, Dukes was clearly just introduced to "dawg" and felt the need to use dawg's name three times in eight words to help commit it to memory. Dukes is nothing if not helplessly dedicated to self-improvement.

I ain't even bulls-------.
Dukes is clear and concise. He does not like jokes, games and/or bulls---; thus putting him out of the running to be cast as Moe in Three Stooges: The New Generation.

Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on.
During these sentences, Dukes becomes confused as to whom he's speaking with. Is it "dawg" or "n-----"? He starts off by threatening dawg's kids and expressing disregard for any individuals who might be riding with dawg in an automobile. But then, all of a sudden, Dukes changes his tirade towards someone name "n-----". It appears that n----'s m----f------g a-- is challenged to a duel. But in the midst of this dual-vitation, dawg makes a reappearance, leading me to believe that dawg and n----- might just be nicknames for Dukes' stuffed animals.

As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."
Alright, I know this isn't supposed to be funny, but for some reason this line absolutely cracks me up. Picture Dukes, all worked up and yelling about dawgs and asses and riding and over-ness and all that. Then, in the midst of this unbridled, uncontrollable rage he has a moment of clarity and makes a decision: Why am I yelling at dawg on the phone, when I can just go to dawg's m----f----- house and yell at dawg there?! It makes so much sense! Why didn't I think of this sooner! To the dawg-mobile!
To Dukes, this is a no-brainer; so much so that he decides to share this pertinent information with dawg herself, which completely abandons the element of dawg-surprisal (which was certainly good for both her and Dukes). But what really kills me is the addition of "as a matter of fact" before he informs dawg of his future travel plans. I don't know what it is about the "as a matter of fact" but there is some inherent hilarity in those five words being used in that tirade. It's like Dukes calms down from his maniacal tirade for just enough time to think, "in this following sentence, I'd like to emphasize the truth of these words to provide a better connection from speaker to listener. To do so, I shall say 'as a matter of fact' in order to show them that I actually mean business."
Oh, and after he left that voicemail, Dukes texted "dawg" with a picture of a loaded gun. A loaded gun next to the phone that left the message, mind you. It's like: Here's a gun, and in case you don't think that that gun means business, there's also the phone in that pic so you knows I's GOTSA be leavin mo crazy voicemails on yo joint, dawg.
My point is that Dukes is even more crazy than Jones gives him credit for in the story (and if you've read the story, you'll see that Jones paints a pretty scary picture of Dukes). He's certifiable. He's a scary person. There is nothing he could do that would surprise me; nothing. He could beat up an umpire, shoot a teammate, date Amy Winehouse; the sky's the limit for Elijiah Dukes.

2) The alleged prodigious talent of Dukes hasn't been seen by anyone at the Major League level. Sure, he had 10 homeruns last year for the Rays, but he also batted .190 and had a cool .318 OBP. His OPS+ was 88, when 100 is the mark for a league-average player.
This season - oh, this season it's far worse. Dukes is 2/30 from the plate for an .067 average. His OPS is 285, or one point below Rick Ankiel's batting average. He looks out of shape, swings at breaking stuff like he's Pedro Cerrano and is a liability in an outfield full of them. In short, Dukes might have the talent, but he hasn't come close to ever proving so in the Majors.

What we have here is a man who has proven himself to be uncontrollable in both his personal and athletic lives. He gets a pass and has people taking chances on him because he is a talented baseball player, but he's having trouble even living up to that. Dukes is a powder keg waiting to explode, but not in a good sports analogy way. This is going to end poorly; the Nationals can only hope it merely ends bad rather than disastrously.
In conclusion, Jim Bowden is an idiot. The end.

Lenny Clarke Returns

My new subscription to MLB.TV is paying off. One day after watching the last four innings of Jon Lester's no-hitter, I was able to catch Lenny Clarke's return appearance to the NESN broadcast booth with Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy tonight. Clarke, you might remember, partnered with Denis Leary for the amazing "Mel Gibson" chat two years ago.

Tonight, Clarke was alone, but still pretty funny. To my surprise, the trio was not shy about bringing up the previous appearance. Orsillo asked Clarke if he ever ran into Mel Gibson in Hollywood (he hasn't) and Remy said, "anytime I'm a little down I put on that video and it makes me laugh." Clarke explained that the August '06 appearance was the culmination of a long day for he and Leary (who were promoting their TV show Rescue Me) and that they certainly peaked in that booth. He also said that Leary said they should stop appearing together because "we'll never top that".
It's pretty funny that Clarke happened to be in the booth tonight, as earlier today I thought about the time Rick Sutcliffe was hammered in the Padres booth talking about George Clooney. I actually planned on looking for the video and posting it again sometime soon. So, I guess now's as good a time as any.

Lottery Fever!!!

I'm watching a split-screen of the Nats/Phillies game and the NBA Draft lottery. Whilst flipping channels during a break between innings, I stumbled upon a Maryland lottery drawing with one of those dudes with the Bob Barker microphone calling out the numbers a supposedly hot chick turned over as they were sucked out of a hopper. My question is: Why can local lotteries and bingo nights nationwide show the lottery process, but the NBA can't? Isn't there some inherent excitement in pulling numbers from a hopper? What's the reason they stopped doing this? I know they give a lame reason (I'll look it up later, if I care enough), but it can't be a good one. Pulling the numbers live would make this show about 99% more exciting.
And Doris Burke just called Jay-Z "Shawn". (That's his first name, but it'd be like calling Tiger Woods "Eldrick".) And apparently people are watching the lottery live from Miami's home arena. It looks like there are a lot of people there; certainly more than the average Marlins game. Two years ago, those people were watching the Eastern Conference Finals on this night. Saps.

It's SO Going To Be Detroit/San Antonio

The story line tomorrow is going to be: "San Antonio's experience won out over the playoff neophytes on New Orleans." That'll be a complete load of crap. The Spurs won tonight because they hit the shots they needed to, while the Hornets missed crucial wide-open looks all night. And on that experience tip, let's not forget Peja is a playoff veteran and knows full-well how to choke in big games. He went 3-11 in tonight's Game 7, nearly matching the 3-12 shooting performance he had in that epic 2002 Western Conference Finals Game 7 against the Lakers.

If Belichick Were Nixon, He'd Have Needed Adam Vinatieri's Vote To Win Every Election

In Sunday's Boston Globe, Bob Ryan made some interesting points about the Patriots' years of rampant cheating. He compared Spygate to Watergate by saying that neither were really necessary. The Pats were a great team that didn't need to cheat to get ahead. Conversely, Richard Nixon was a dominant candidate in 1972 and was never in danger of losing the presidency to George McGovern. Still, both Bill Belichick and Richard Nixon oversaw cheating and a cover-up. Only one of them will have ended up going down for it, though.
That made me think about a scene from one of one of my favorite movies, All The President's Men. At one point, Jason Robards (playing Washington Post executive editor Ben Bradlee) asks two of his most trusted colleagues what they think of the Watergate stories written by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. One of them is skeptical. When asked why, he says, "because it doesn't make sense," and goes into a longer account of what Ryan said; that Nixon can't lose the election, thusly there would never be a point to risk so much. The Pats' situation is quite similar.
That's why I'm so baffled why everyone is bending over backwards to make excuses for Belichick. Peter King has led the charge:

What it comes down to, for me, is that Belichick didn't do something so heinous that it counterbalances the great accomplishments he's made on the field. The Patriots videotaped defensive signals so they would have clarity and be able to study them over and over and to see all the nuances of the signaler.

In terms of football integrity, how is that NOT heinous? They taped opposing teams so they could break their code, which they would then use to their advantage. Boil down those two sentences from King and they read, "they cheated, so they could cheat".
He continues:

That's not to excuse, obviously, the years of video help the Patriots got in spite of clear NFL rules. But the gain wasn't like walking to an opposing coach's office and stealing a game plan.

Wow, I mean - I don't get this at all. Now we're parsing the degrees of malfeasance? So, under King's theory, corking a bat isn't that big a deal, because it's not taking steroids. Putting weights in your boxing glove isn't a capital offense, because a boxer could always drug his opponent instead. Copying off someone's test is alright, because it's not like stealing a copy from the teacher's desk.
Bill Belichick presided over seven years of cheating and then continually lied about it to everyone who asked. The Pats' three Super Bowls are most certainly tainted as a result; not because they won because they cheated, but because they cheated while they won. They don't get to say, "it didn't help us that much" anymore than Pete Rose can say that betting on baseball didn't matter because he never let it compromise how he managed his team.
The NFL must have the balls of all media in a vice-grip, with the knowledge that they'll squeeze if anyone ever says or prints a negative word about the league. Remember, the Michael Vick story floundered in the mainstream media for months before anyone cared, even after it became clear that the allegations were legitimate and serious.

Epic Boredom

The revisionist history has already begun on Game 7 of the Celtics/Cavs series. ESPN called it "epic and entertaining", Sportsline said it was a jewel of a game. But was it really? The game I watched was controlled by the Celtics and in doubt for all of two possessions. It contained a stellar performance from Paul Pierce and the usual from LeBron James (more on that in a second), but was probably defined more by what didn't happen rather than what did.
Damon Jones missed a wide-open three pointer that would have tied the score. LeBron James scored 44 points, but missed almost every shot that really mattered late in the game. He fills out a stat-sheet, to be sure, but LeBron does not yet rise to the occasion like the true greats. He airballed a runner late in the game that would have cut the Celts lead to one. Nobody is mentioning that today, nor the missed three with 50 seconds left. But, hey, at least LeBron showed up, which is more than Kevin Garnett can say.
I suppose this would be a good time to recount this story that was told to me this winter. I went back to an email I sent after hearing this story to ensure I was telling it correctly. Instead of paraphrasing what I wrote then, I'll just paste the email. This happened after a Bullets game in January:

after the grizz game, [the story's source] and a few others are sitting in a room beneath mci center watching the end of boston/minn. caron comes in to watch the end of it. i guess boston won a close, late game, after which garnett strutted around the court, popping out his jersey. caron's direct quote, which was said to no one in particular: "what's he doin, celebrating because he beat the t-wolves? they have, like, what, five wins...? (shakes his head)... soft-ass bitch."

Garnett certainly played soft today, as he frequently does in big situations. This was only his fifth playoff series victory during his 13 year career. Five. Tim Duncan wins four per year, and Garnett just won his fifth. Says a lot about the man, I think. But does the press get on his case about not showing up yesterday? Of course not. Marc Jackson kept saying on the telecast that KG's lack of production didn't matter because Paul Pierce was picking up the slack. That's great, but why couldn't Garnett also play well? Is there a rule that only one All-Star per team can play well each game?
Anyway, I just didn't think that game was all that great. The Boston fans were fairly boring, Mike Breen and company don't really play up the moment and, most importantly, except for those two possessions that Cleveland came up empty on, it never felt like the Celtics weren't in control Also, that game lasted like three hours. How many timeouts do NBA teams really need? Have you ever listened to the coaches mic'd up in the huddle? It's not like they say anything productive. Doc Rivers was shown saying, "we need to take our shot - our shot!" during one timeout. Thanks, Doc. You get that one from Red Auerbach's autobiography?

Somebody Get Wilbon Some Stamps!

If the decline of Tony Kornheiser's writing can provide a template, it would figure that Michael Wilbon is about one-step away from bailing on regular column duties for The Washington Post and instead relegating his print work to phoning in some one-liners for a Page 2 text-box. Because, for the third or fourth time since March, Wilbon is trying to pass off his agenda-laden drivel as journalism. Last month I asked whether Wilbon's writing had jumped the shark. It's clear that it hasn't just jumped the shark, but has pulled a Roy Scheider in Jaws and blown that thing out of the water.
Once again, Wilbon begins a column with a gratuitous cheap-shot at a professional sports league that isn't the NBA.

Pro football unquestionably has become America's sporting obsession. There's no offseason anymore. There's no month when the NFL isn't front and center in the culture's consciousness. Even a complete non-story, such as this Matt Walsh nonsense out of New England that's little more than Geraldo standing before Al Capone's vault, can hold people's rapt attention for weeks.
But there's one thing pro football in all its glory can't give you: Game 7. The NFL can't give you six games of back-and-forth, of day-to-day adjustments and second-guessing, of cold stares and hard fouls, of familiarity breeding contempt even among friends. Only six previous games can produce the desperate drama that is Game 7, still the coolest thing in sports -- any sport and any teams.

Yo, we get it. The NBA is the greatest, and it has nothing to do with the fact that Disney pays Wilbon money to sit in a studio and analyze the games. But if the NBA is so great, why does every column he writes begin with a shot at another league? Inferiority complex, much? (I'm going to ignore Wilbon's ignoring of the Patriots' cheating. When the NFL commissioner essentially calls a head coach a liar, there's a whole lot more to a story than an empty vault. Gregg Easterbrook might be a bit of a blowhard, but he's right. The only way for this to end is to suspend Bill Belichick. The Patriots cheated and then lied about the breadth of their cheating. Why does nobody care? I don't buy the argument that videotaping opponents "didn't help that much." If it didn't help, why did they continue to do it for eight years? And why did they keep it a secret? And why did they lie about how long they had taped to Goodell? And why is there a rule prohibiting the practice? And who cares how much the cheating helped... IT'S STILL CHEATING! If a student is caught looking on a classmate's paper during a test, it doesn't matter whether they copy down the right answer or not. They're still cheating.)
Wilbon continues:

That's why for some of us, the Sunday-Monday East-West doubleheader of Game 7s is pretty close to nirvana. You want to see champions and big stars under the ultimate pressure? You think pro sports don't have single elimination? Sure they do. Cleveland and Boston this afternoon, then San Antonio and New Orleans tomorrow night are down to their final out.

Who thinks pro sports don't have single elimination? Doesn't the same NFL that Wilbon earlier decried have single elimination? Wasn't that the whole point of the unnecessary dig at the top of the column? I understand the contention that Game 7's single-eliminations are more interesting than the regular single-eliminations because of the previous six games, I guess I'm just confused how Wilbon can make one point and then claim said point doesn't exist four paragraphs later.
Sadly, this column has been the rule, not the exception for Wilbon of late. With his ever-growing television presence, he is churning out columns that wouldn't seem out of place in a crappy college newspaper.

The Redskins Bandwagon

In honor of Tony Kornheiser's "retirement" from The Washington Post, Dan Steinberg found an old link to TK's locally-famous Redskins Bandwagon columns from the magical '91 Super Bowl season. If you were a 'Skins fan living in the D.C. area in 1991 and 1992, your Tuesdays didn't begin without sitting down with the E section and reading Kornheiser's latest thoughts on the impending Super Bowl victory that was to come. I was 10-years old during that season and remember reading every column. If you're a Redskins fan, this is a great time capsule of that year, and will doubtlessly make you feel really old.

The Hornets/Spurs Series Will Drag On Longer Than The Democratic Primaries

The Spurs defeated the Hornets tonight, forcing a Game 7 in their Western Conference Semifinal series. The deciding contest will be played Saturday Sunday Monday night in New Orleans.
It's stuff like this that makes it so difficult for me to care about the NBA. It's Thursday night. New Orleans and San Antonio could easily finish their series on Saturday - an empty day of the NBA playoff calendar. At the very least, they could play Sunday. But, no, the league has to take the fun out of everything and will play the game four evenings from now.
In that span, Boston will play two games; either the 6th and 7th game of their semifinal series vs. Cleveland, or two separate series against Cleveland (Game 6) and Detroit (Game 1). This really makes no sense at all to me. It's all because of TV; I get that, but why does killing the buzz of the best series of the playoffs make for better TV? Isn't the whole point to drum up interest in the series? And wouldn't the most excitement be surrounding either a primetime Saturday tilt or a mid-afternoon game on Sunday? How can the NBA let an entire weekend - Friday to Sunday - pass without playing what will be the most anticipated game of these playoffs?
By Monday, everyone will have forgotten about tonight's Game 6 and will be thinking more about the Eastern Conference Finals, or how great that Lakers series was or whether that horse will be going for the Triple Crown or how the NFL is continuing to brush the Spygate stuff under the rug and hope nobody notices. It's ridiculous. It's almost as if the NBA is dumping a series it doesn't want into a poor timeslot, only that series is the one everyone wants to watch. It'd be like putting Lost on Saturday nights at 6:00 p.m.
You know what also gets me? When ESPN teases a game by saying "Spurs/Hornets: 8:00 Thursday" and then you turn on the TV to find out that 8:00 only refers to the time of the pre-game show where Stephen A. Smith comes on to complain, and not the actual tip-off the game, which is at 9:00. In that hour we're treated to a bunch of nothingness, including Jalen Rose in a bowtie and at least four paeans to the goodness of Chris Paul's character. That's all well and good (or the exact opposite), but it's not a game. When you say the game begins at 8, it should begin at 8. When it doesn't begin at 8, that's false advertising, brotha! The NBA should get on ESPN and make them say "Spurs/Hornets: Coverage begins at 8:00, Tip-off at 9:00".
I get confused because when I look in the paper in the morning, it says the game starts at 9. Then I ask my cousin who works as a sportscaster and he says it starts at 8:00. So I take his word, not knowing that his word is based on ESPNs word, which is apparently crap. Simply put: If the game starts at 9, say it starts at 9. Pimp your crappy pre-game show however you want, just get me to a TV in time to see the tip.
I'm done now.

More Manny Being Manny

I heard about this awesome Baseball Tonight retrospective from last night of the greatest Manny moments of all-time and regretted that guys like John Kruk, Oreste Desdrades, Eric Young and Fernando Vina have made me stop watching what was once my favorite show. Luckily, Awful Announcing came through with the clip. It's freakin' amazing.

I had forgotten about the first at-bat highlight; that's pretty hiarious. Steve Berthiaume gives major love to my favorite Manny clip (the cut-off of the Johnny Damon throw), and what I forgot about that is just how awful Damon's arm is. You can almost understand what Manny was thinking when he cut that throw off. Almost.

I Love Manny

In today's loss to the Orioles, Manny Ramirez ran down a fly ball at the warning track, climbed the outfield wall, high-fived a fan, and then turned around and doubled up a runner on first base. Yeah, you read that right, he high-fived a fan.

Like the famous Michael Jordan scoop shoot in the '91 Finals, this clip is more awe-inspiring at regular speed, but the slow-mo clip from Awful Announcing sufficiently shows how delightfully-insane Manny is. This is now up there in the Manny Pantheon along with the time he cut-off a throw from Johnny Damon while standing in left field and the time he made it 3/4 of the way to first base after ball three.
(Here's the clip in real speed, thanks to Mr. Irrelevant)

Kornheiser Out At Washington Post

On his radio show this morning, Tony Kornheiser confirmed something he'd been hinting about for a few weeks: He finally decided to accept a buyout at The Washington Post, ending his 29-year stint at the newspaper.
Even though Kornheiser has done almost no real writing in the past few years, this news is still upsetting. I can remember running out to get the paper barefoot before school in order to read the newest columns from Kornheiser, Michael Wilbon and Thomas Boswell. Their's were opinions that mattered, before everyone with an opinion had a gig on ESPN. Things have changed for Kornheiser and Wilbon, but at least Boswell is still writing quality stuff for the Post. One can only hope he never gets offered a similar deal.
(Veteran political writer, and D.C. institution, David Broder also accepted a buyout today, but he will still write for the paper, albeit under contract.)

Smart People Think Draft Combines Are Stupid

Earlier this week, writer Malcom Gladwell spoke on the challenge of hiring in the modern world at the 2008 New Yorker Conference. Gladwell began his talk by analyzing the uselessness of draft combines, something I have railed on frequently on this site. The author The Tipping Point and Blink does so much more eloquently, and provides some interesting examples and critiques of the combine. I highly recommend watching the whole talk; it's about 25 minutes, the first 15 of which are dedicated to talk of the combines. Gladwell provides some great facts about combine results including that DJ Strawberry had the highest score at the NBA combine last year and Donovan McNabb, Dan Marino and Terry Bradshaw were among the five lowest scorers ever on the Wonderlic test. It's pretty entertaining, and insightful, stuff.
We'll even give Gladwell a pass for calling Joakim Noah by his father's name, Yannick.
(If you aren't familiar with Gladwell's work, it might help to know that he is a big sports fan and, thusly, knows what he's talking about. His appearance suggests he's more of an egghead, which is why I bring this up.)
Gladwell uses the combines as an introduction for further discussion of "the mismatch problem", in this case, the ineffective hiring practices for teachers, lawyers and pilots. His argument can be summed up with his quote that says airlines "are really bad at matching the skills they use to hire, with the skills they need to fly." Bring that back to the scouting combines, when the NFL is basing decisions based on who can run an arbitrary distance without any pads the fastest. It's interesting stuff.
Watch the video here.

Nelson Figueroa Bad Pitcher, Sexist

From the New York Daily News:

Incensed at the chants emanating from the Washington dugout during the Mets' 10-4 loss Monday night at Shea, Mets pitcher Nelson Figueroa ripped the Nationals afterward. "They were cheerleading in the dugout like a bunch of softball girls," Figueroa said. "I'm a professional, just like anybody else. I take huge offense to that. If that's what a last-place team needs to do to fire themselves up, so be it. I think you need to show a little bit more class, a little bit more professionalism. They won tonight, but again, in the long run, they are who they are."

Maybe Figueroa should spend less time worrying about what results from his crappy pitching and instead focus on improving his crappy pitching. I'd call Figueroa a career journeyman, but that phrase seems to suggest he's been in the Majors for a while. In reality, he was stuck in the minors for about seven years and then spent five seasons going 9-20 on four different teams. Since 2004, he's been out of the Majors and playing ball in various foreign locales. He did win the Taiwanese playoff MVP award, but they might take that back because not being a douchebag is highly valued in many Asian cultures.
As for last night, what was Figueroa doing even looking into the Nats dugout? Is he mistaking "don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes" with "don't get demoted to AAA until you see the whites of the eyes of the last place team that just shelled you"? Shouldn't he have been figuring out how to keep pitcher Odalis Perez from going 3-3 for the first time in his career? Or how to retire a guy named Jesus?
And how idiotic is it to call the Nats "a bunch of softball girls" as they're in the process of kicking your ass. Come up with some better insults, Figueroa. Ask the guys in AAA; I'm sure you'll be seeing them soon enough.
I'm still baffled as to why anyone would ever say anything like that after giving up a lot of runs to a last-place team. It's either sour grapes or that you're just a big buzz-kill that doesn't know how to have fun. I notice on his Baseball Reference bio that Figueroa went to Brandeis, which sort of fits, as the two people I know who went to Brandeis both had absolutely no sense of humor. Talking to them was like chatting up a wall, albeit a really, really boring one. Famous alumni of Brandeis include Jack Abramoff and Debra Messing which only further proves my point.

Kobe Hurt, Kobe Says

In case you couldn't tell from all the wincing he did after each of his 20 misses from the floor Sunday night, Kobe Bryant says he's hurt. But, don't worry, he'll be feeling good enough to grimace in pain on each trip down the floor and dramatically rest his hands on his knees during timeouts in Wednesday's Game 5. Said Kobe, " "I'll play. I can't imagine [my back] being worse than what it was [Sunday] night."
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. If your back hurts so much, don't play. If you can go, suck it up, take it like a man and don't make excuses. I don't want to see all the gesticulations and affected looks. We don't need press conferences where you say you're injured, but not injured enough to not play. Seriously, shut up.
Kobe always looks hurt whenever he's not playing well. But when he gets the ball one-on-one with Deron Williams, the back that's bothering him always magically seems to heal. Remember when Emmit Smith played a playoff game with a dislocated shoulder? Kobe winces more on one possession than Emmit did that entire game.
The announcers don't help matters; slurping Kobe like he just returned from his third tour in Iraq. He banged up his back, Tirico. I think he'll live.
And, also, if Kobe's back was hurting so much, what the hell was he doing taking 33 shots, including seven of the team's ten tries in overtime? Why can't Kobe accept the following facts: He's an unbelievable basketball player who's not Michael Jordan.

The Nationals Are Already Leaving D.C.

Only four years after their arrival in the Nation's Capital, the Washington Nationals are already leaving town, reports The Onion.

Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capital Rotunda

Money line: "The team, however, has urged outfielder Lastings Milledge to dress up in a suit, sneak into the Capitol Building, retrieve the ball, and make the necessary repairs on the shattered sandstone walls of the dome before anyone notices."

Come See How Good Charles Barkley Looks

Inside the NBA is the best sports show on television. I don't even like the NBA all that much, but I try to catch Ernie, Kenny and Charles as much as possible for moments like this:

That's gold, Jerry... Gold, and it's made all the better by the crew laughter. For live TV, there's really nothing better than crew laughter. (Video courtesy Awful Announcing)

Chris Cooley Is The Best

Chris Cooley awesomely opines on the awkwardness of NFL drug testing in a recent blog article. The opening line - "How do I end up in a bathroom stall at the Borgata with my pants around my ankles while a man named Bill stares at my penis?" - reads like something out of a 1960s Gay Talese story in Esquire. Go read it. It's pretty great. What are the odds that Washington would be home to the best two athlete-bloggers?

Joe Gibbs Is A Reggae Legend

I was browsing around iTunes just now and stumbled across a new CD from reggae singer Barrington Levy (who backed up Shyne on one of my favorite rap songs of all-time). Taking a quick glance at the album's cover, I did a double-take.


Now, Redskins coach Joe Gibbs loves Bob Marley as much as the next NASCAR owner, but what was his name doing on a reggae tribute album? After doing some Googling, I discovered that another man named Joe Gibbs (pictured) was a famous Jamaican reggae producer who passed away in February. Born Joel Gibson, Gibbs produced over 100 Jamaican #1 hits (which is maybe a little less impressive than it sounds).

Chris Paul: Damn

In leading the Hornets to a 2-0 lead over the defending NBA champs, Chris Paul is averaging 23.5 points, 12.5 assists and 1.5 turnovers per game. Quite simply, he's the best point guard alive. By the end of his career, he could go down as the best point guard to ever play the game. That's how high his ceiling is right now. Every time I watch Paul's sheer brilliance on the court, my thoughts invariably turn to one question: How the hell did Wake Forest ever lose that second round game to West Virginia in the 2005 NCAA Tournament? That one still hurts.
As good as Paul and the Hornets have been, anyone who is counting out San Antonio because they're down 0-2 is crazy... Just as crazy as the people who have been sleeping on New Orleans all year.

Gary Williams Is Getting Desperate

There's an excellent, and troubling, piece by Luke Winn on SI.com about Gary Williams' newest basketball recruit Tyree Evans, a 23-year old juco transfer and ex-con. The troubles surrounding Evans don't seem to be your typical "boys will be boys" stuff; he sounds like someone not worthy of the benefit of the doubt Williams is giving him. Here's all you need to know: Evans was thrice recruited by Bob Huggins and had his letters of intent pulled all three times because "there were enough other issues". So it's come to this, Gary. You're getting guys that Bob Freakin' Huggins has deemed unworthy. Wow. Read the whole story, and you'll probably agree that the University of Maryland basketball program is hovering around rock bottom, a stunning turn-around for a school just six years removed from a National Championship.

Fred Davis: Still Stupid

On the Redskins Insider blog, Jason Reid writes:

Some draft evaluators reported that USC tight end Fred Davis exhibited poor work habits and made questionable decisions at times. But the Redskins considered Davis to be too talented to leave on the board as they prepared to make the 48th overall pick in last week's NFL draft.

Except for speed, the one thing that's least likely to change in someone from college to the pros is work ethic. Since playing college football at USC is essentially one really long interview for a job that can pay millions, Fred Davis had all the incentive in the world to work hard. So if he didn't, how likely is it that he's going to work hard once he's signed a contract and deposited that bonus check? I'm not saying it's impossible for someone to change, but if there are questions about work ethic, it's usually a sign of things to come. But, hey, the Redskins really, really needed a TE and Davis was the best player available, so what was Vinny Cerrato to do? His hands were tied. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He had to take Davis. There was no other alternative. Because, again, the Redskins only have one Pro Bowl tight end on their roster. And everyone knows every great team throughout history has had two great tight ends.
Later on in the entry, Reid writes:

[Vinny] Cerrato was aware of the talk surrounding Davis before the draft. But USC Coach Pete Carroll, who worked with Cerrato in the San Francisco 49ers' organization, persuaded Cerrato that Davis was the type of player who could help the Redskins.

If Cerrato's due diligence on Fred Davis was merely talking to Pete Carroll then - well, then everything I've ever said about Vinny Cerrato is probably true. How much impartiality can Pete Carroll possibly have on a player he recruited and coached for four years? Unless Davis was a complete jerk and team cancer, Carroll almost certainly has some degree of affinity for him. Why would the coach completely sandbag hims player before the NFL draft? Who else did Cerrato call as character references - Davis's grandmother??!

Fred Davis Is Stupid, Just Like Vinny Cerrato

Redskins rookie TE Fred Davis was a no-show at the team's third mini-camp practice today. Team officials were worried something was seriously wrong with Davis, but soon learned that he overslept after a late night. Everyone has overslept for something before, many because of a late night. It's understandable. It's forgiveable. But to oversleep during your third practice ever in the NFL while still unsigned? That's in the pantheon of stupidity. Nice work, Vinny Cerrato. Not only did you draft a guy you didn't need, but that guy also appears to be a complete moron.

The Hypocrisy Of Michael Wilbon

One of my favorite running subplots to the NBA season is Tracy McGrady's inability to advance his team to the second round of the playoffs. In McGrady's seven playoff appearances, his teams (Toronto, Orlando and Houston) have never won a series. This story has been growing louder and louder with every passing year, much like when Phil Mickelson hadn't won a major. With the Rockets' loss to the Jazz last night, the "McGrady can't do it" chorus will grow even louder.
McGrady's first round failures are a constant topic on TV and in print and, somewhat surprisingly, the ostensible star of the Rockets gets a pass. Almost everyone makes excuses for McGrady's lack of playoff wins, and Michael Wilbon leads the charge. According to Wilbon, McGrady is not to blame for his team's 0-7 record in playoff series. The Washington Post columnist and PTI star constantly places the onus on teammates and coaches, saying that McGrady does everything he can and the burden shouldn't fall on him when there are four other guys out there playing too. Despite the losses, McGrady is a superstar - one of the best players in the league, Wilbon contends. But superstars can only do so much.... That's the argument. Say what you like about the tenets of this argument, at least it's an ethos... An ethos that Wilbon completely contradicts in a column in today's Post that my buddy Jaf dubbed "Worst. Wilbon. Ever."

Great pitching is the most important ingredient in postseason baseball. Great coaching tilts the table in football. Great goaltending is the overriding factor in the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Great players own pro basketball....
That's pretty much the only way you win in the NBA, with a truly great player.
Not all-star players, or great offensive players (such as Gilbert Arenas), or terrific No. 2 players (such as Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison), but with truly dominant players, with MVP-caliber players.
Just look at the league's history. For every Detroit Pistons team that wins a championship (2004) without a great superstar, there have been six with a Michael Jordan, four with a Tim Duncan, four with a Shaq and/or Kobe, two with a Hakeem Olajuwon, two with an Isiah Thomas, five with a Magic Johnson, three with a Larry Bird. That's 26 of the last 28 championship teams that have had one of those all-time great players.

Duly noted, Wilbon. And, on this one, I completely agree. Great players in basketball can lead teams to championships because they're one of five, instead of one of nine (baseball) or one of 22 (football). But if it takes a great player to win, wouldn't that mean that Tracy McGrady is not a great player?
McGrady defenders will trot out his postseason statistics (which are great) and say, "look, he's done all he can do," to which I'd say, "yeah, except - you know - WIN". I'm not sure why it's acceptable for McGrady to lose while filling a stat sheet but not OK for anyone else. Since when did personal glory top team achievement in the NBA? It hasn't; but Wilbon and all the McGrady-lovers want you to believe it has. Can you imagine the sort of talk they'd be having about Kobe if he hadn't won a series since Shaq left L.A.? Or what if LeBron had never advanced Cleveland to the second round? Everybody in the press would be killing them. Why does McGrady get a pass?
It can't be both ways: If it takes a great player to win in the playoffs, then Tracy McGrady can't be a great player. He's either merely a great offensive player (like Gilbert Arenas) or a terrific #2 player (such as Caron Butler or Antawn Jamison). The only difference is, each of those three guys has actually won a playoff series before.

If Gilbert Had A 40, He'd Be Pouring Some Out

With Darius Songaila suspended for tonight's Game 6 and, thusly, not allowed in the Verizon Center, Gilbert Arenas repped his fallen comrade. (And did so while wearing a white suit, I might add.)

If Only There Were A Lithuanian Rapper Who Could Record A LeBron Diss

The NBA announced today that Bullets reserve Darius Songaila will be suspended for tonight's Game 6 for having the audacity to touch the face of LeBron James. Needless to say, this is a ridiculous suspension that will only advance the theory that David Stern controls the playoffs. Watch it, and try not to listen to Marv Albert who was uncharacteristically off on Wednesday night.

Let's let Bullets coach Eddie Jordan interpret the encounter:

"I stand my ground. I thought [Songaila] got tangled up with LeBron, and LeBron tried to get untangled. And in his method of trying to get untangled, Darius' arm just flew at his chin. And LeBron's a terrific actor. We've seen some of his commercials."

First of all, great quote underscored with excellent subtle digs. How very Phil Jackson of him. But Jordan's right. Darius and LeBron got tangled and each acted a little chippy. Then, LeBron's MJ-inferiority complex kicked in and he got all defensive and tried to disentangle his arm by ripping it from Songaila's. As this happens, Songaila moves his hand in the direction LeBron is swinging it, mainly to prove that when it comes to chippiness, nobody beats the Lithuanians. Songaila's wrist then makes contact with LeBron's mouth; LeBron spends the next five minutes adjusting his jaw as if he had been hit by a left from Sonny Liston and Songaila gets a technical foul.
Now, the contact probably didn't even warrant a technical. HOWEVA, at least the assessment of the tech can be defended. In the heat of the moment, you could easily interpret that Songaila maliciously punched LeBron. Had the refs ejected Songaila, it would have been the wrong decision, but you could see where they'd be coming from. But for Stu Jackson to sit down, review the tape at his own leisure and then decide that Songaila should be suspended is completely ridiculous. There's no way a rational person could look at that replay and think that Songaila's intent was any more malevolent than LeBron's. Yet for this, Songaila gets sent off for a game.
Songaila's a Wake Forest guy, so of course I'm completely in the tank for him. But, knowing his game also means I know his style.
There are two incontrovertible facts about Songaila:
1) In his eyes, he's never, ever committed a foul.
2) He loves to throw 'bows.
Thusly, I can say with little doubt that Songaila was trying to connect with LeBron's face on that play. But the thing is, LeBron was trying to do the same to Songaila.
I don't know if the NBA is trying to get LeBron James into the second round. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. But decisions like this make that question completely valid. David Stern always like to complain that people focus too much on NBA conspiracies when they should be enjoying the game. Yet, by making absurd decisions like suspending Songaila, the NBA completely opens the door to such criticism. So, no complaints David Stern. As Eddie Murphy said in Delirious, "you brought that shit upon yo'self."

He Doesn't Want To Play The Diamondbacks

I just went to the MLB website to find out who the Nats were playing next Saturday night, one of the games in my 20-game season ticket plan. When I got to the page, I did a double-take.


What was happening on May 22? Why was there a picture of a guy in a fedora on that date? I went in for a closer look.


The guy in the fedora was Indiana Jones. It didn't take me too long to figure out that the new Indiana Jones movie probably comes out on May 22 and this was an integrated advertisement. The weird thing is, that picture on May 22 is the only Indy-related plug on the entire page. The top banner ad was for Stubhub, the side-panel ads were for the All-Star Game, but there was nothing for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, not even a pop-up. I went to click on the picture to see where it linked to, but there was no link. I found this very strange. Not bad, necessarily, just strange.