Oh, Such A Perfect Day

The stadium was gorgeous, the much-predicted and oft-feared Metro gridlock never materialized, the President threw a high strike, Ben's Chili Bowl smelled delicious and star third baseman Ryan Zimmerman hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 9th to win the inaugural game at Nationals Park. All in all, I'd say it was a pretty good day. (And I even got to see the end of Kansas/Davidson on a TV while standing in the right field concourse. What the hell was Stephen Curry doing bringing the ball up court on that last possession? The Wildcats have a fine point guard and Curry thrives coming off screens to create his own shot. I really didn't get that one. Oh well, Kansas/Carolina is going to be great.)
I'll write more about the stadium later in the week and will also include some nice pics my cousin and I were able to take. Everything about the stadium was a delight - from the two restaurant/bars in center, to the open concourses that provide views of the field even while standing in line to get some nachos, to the ridiculous HD screen that almost made me want to cry, for its beauty was unmatched by anything these eyes have ever seen.
For now though, I'm going to bed. But I already can't wait until April 9; the next time I'll be taking in Washington's newest landmark.

* Take a look at the game-winning home run, courtesy Mr. Irrelevant. After hitting it, Zim emphatically tells the ball what he thinks it should do, namely that it should "get the f--- outta here!" You can see it at the 3:20 mark.

Well, Shit.

Wake star recruit Aminu arrested

Fresh off his performance in the McDonald's All-American game, Al-Farouq Aminu went out and got himself arrested Friday. The Gwinnett County Police charged Aminu with criminal tresspassing and aggravated assault. His bail was set at $4,500.
It's way too early to jump to any conclusions other than: This isn't good. (Aminu is smiling in his mugshot photo so he can't be too worried.... Right??! That, or he's just really, really high.) Dammit. I blame this on John Swofford. Ever since he let in Virginia Tech and Miami to the ACC, all the kids at the original conference schools have been working to keep up in the felony department.

Update: Aminu was arrested for allegedly shooting a BB gun out of a car window. It's bad, stupid and potentially devastating to his Wake career. But at least it's juvenile stupid and not Marcus Vick stupid.

Tennessee Is Dumb

Tennessee/Louisville was supposed to be the best game of the Tournament thus far. Oops. That was, by far, the ugliest basketball game I've seen all year. Considering I've watched the girl's church basketball team my cousin coaches a few times this year, that's saying a lot.
Neither Tennessee nor Louisville could hold onto the ball, they both committed ridiculous fouls on almost every possession and the turnovers - dear lord, the turnovers. Both teams played stupidly, but the sheer idiocy of Tennessee was awe-inspiring. I knew they were dumb, but sweet fancy Moses, are they dumb. Louisville committed about 900 turnovers in the first half, yet were still up seven at the break solely because Tennessee took bad shots, made defensive errors every time down the floor and would commit fouls after the play was over.
I picked Tennessee to win it all because I was seduced by their athleticism. But about ten minutes into their first round game with American, I began regretting my decision. The reason that game was close in the second half was less because of American playing well and more because of Tennessee forcing up bad shots early in their possession and playing zero defense. At the end of that game, when the Vols were pulling away, they lengthened the game by committing worthless fouls of most American possessions.
Last night, Bruce Pearl seemed to lose control of his team. They were bickering during timeouts, seemed to be blaming each other for defensive breakdowns and forced up bad shots on a majority of possessions. Chris Lofton's numbers don't look that bad in retrospect, but he was atrocious. He couldn't hit open looks when the game was still in doubt and to compensate, he would throw up shots with two defenders in his face, presumably to get himself "hot" again. It didn't work; Lofton had at least four jumpshots blocked. You don't really see that all too often. Lofton made some abysmal selections with his shot. Take it from me, because I know all about abysmal selections. Thanks, Tennessee.

More Basketball For Your Buck

The past two Sweet 16 Thursdays have been unbelievable, so here's hoping that tonight follows suit. Had planned to write a little preview, but my leg has been giving me some trouble so I'm going to kick back, put on a few Seinfelds and relax until the games come on in 90 minutes. Quick picks: North Carolina, Xavier, Louisville and UCLA. I'm really, really hating that I picked Tennessee to win it all, by the way. It's been a long time since I've seen a team this talented play so dumb. Although, I do like the fact that everyone is all over Louisville's jock and hating on Tennessee this week. To listen to the analysts, you'd think there isn't a chance in hell that Tennessee can win tonight. All the Louisville-love sort of reminds me of early March when Pitino's boys were getting the same kind of praise as they headed into their season finale with the chance to win the Big East regular season title. They then lost two straight; to Georgetown and Pitt.

FYI: If you're in the Washington DC area and have an HD-converter box, you'll be able to watch both North Carolina/Washington State game and West Virginia/Xavier. The local CBS affiliate, WUSA, is showing the WVU/Xavier game on its digital subchannel. Normally, that station carries weather radar. If you subscribe to Comcast, the channel is 203. Verizon: 861. Cox: Well, if you have Cox, you're just an idiot.
WUSA made the decision so WVU fans in the area could see their team, without bumping the "game of interest" from the main station. The game, despite being on the digital tier, won't be available in HD though. I don't understand why WUSA doesn't do this for all games; but that's probably being a little too greedy considering that, up until an hour ago, I was anticipating only being able to watch Carolina destroy Washington State at 7:00. Other CBS stations around the country have been doing the same thing since the first rounds, so if you're looking for more basketball tonight and tomorrow, take a look at your affiliate's website to see if they're going to hook it up.

'Skins-Giants To Open NFL Season

As predicted here yesterday, the Washington Redskins will visit the New York Giants in the NFL's Thursday night season opener, according to Jason Reid of The Washington Post. Quite a showcase for Jim Zorn's debut.

Popeyes: An Addendum

My college roommate was disappointed that I didn't mention his favorite Popeyes story yesterday, so here goes: Falkow became a fan of Popeyes when he came down to Maryland during one summer and fell in love after a special visit we made in Athens, GA after a trip to UGA. Falkow described it as "the greatest meal I've ever had".
One day, a few months later, we were hungry and decided that the only thing that would satisfy us was some delicious, Lousiana-spiced fried chicken. There was no Popeyes in Winston-Salem; the nearest was at a truck stop a little past Greensboro, about 45 minutes away from campus. As we had nothing else to do, making the trip was a no-brainer. But, being idiots, we decided to drive on the perpetually construction-plagued I-40 at rush hour. It took us about two hours to get to Popeyes and about 90 minutes to get back. In all, we probably spent a good three-and-a-half hours in the car just for Popeyes. And it was worth every minute.
(And that is a picture of the aforementioned Popeyes in Whitsett, NC. Normally people who are getting food and gas at truck stops have the weary looks of travelers, which must have made the giddy excitement on Falkow and I's faces quite confusing for the employees.)

Are You Ready For Some Pre-Sunset Thursday Football?!

The Hollywood Reporter (via Pro Football Talk) reports that the NFL will move up the kickoff of it's annual Thursday season opener from 8:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. so the game won't conflict with John McCain's acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, scheduled for that evening around 10:00 p.m.. This is interesting for two reasons:
1) It shows that NBC still wants to give the appearance that they care about news, despite the fact that they'd much rather being showing a football game rather than a political acceptance speeches. Both political conventions get dismal ratings and draw no advertising revenue for the networks. And putting the game on earlier means less viewers on both coasts (particularly in the west), which means NBC has to charge less for commercials.
Of course NBC has to act like they'd rather broadcast McCain's speech, but deep down you know both them and the NFL are none too happy the Republican convention ends the same night their season begins. (FYI, John Kerry's acceptance speech at the DNC in '04 drew 4.1 million viewers on NBC. That year's NFL season opener drew 18.5 million viewers on ABC. It is worth noting, though, that 20.1 million total viewers watched Kerry's speech on various networks - CBS, NBC, FOX, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, etc.)
2) In the six-year history of the Thursday season opener, the NFL has purposefully not scheduled any divisional matchups. Why? I haven't seen a good explanation for this, but I assume it's due to the league wanting more of a national audience for the game. (Some say it's because the NFL doesn't want the defending Super Bowl champion to have to play a division game right out of the gate, but plenty of teams do it every year - remember Dallas/New York debuted NBC's Sunday slate in 2007 - so why would the champs be different?)
The problem with the 2008 game is that the NFL really doesn't have any other option but to schedule a division game for the Giants. With the earlier start time, the presumptive "favorites" to play in the game, Seattle, are likely out. I can't imagine the NFL would want the Seahawks to kickoff their season with a 4:00 start on a Thursday afternoon out west. That eliminates the 49ers too; not that they would have been in the game in the first place. You can also throw out the Bengals (not the team Roger Goodell wants featured on opening night) and the Panthers (not the team anyone wants to watch on opening night) too. Baltimore might get a look, but their 5-11 record last season is too ugly to ignore. As is their quarterback situation.
That leaves only three home games: Dallas, Philadelphia and Washington. Dallas is the obvious choice; but I don't know if the league would "waste" that matchup on a game guaranteed to draw eyes anyway. They'd probably want to keep that for a Monday or Sunday night matchup; leaving the other game in the home-and-home to FOX. Beacuse of that, I think the Giants week one opponent will either be the Eagles or Redskins. I'd prefer the Eagles, mainly because maroon and black doesn't look too good under the lights.
Whoever the other team is, I hope the game goes to overtime so that NBC will be ridiculed for thinking that there wouldn't be any potential problem with hoping an NFL game with an extended halftime will fit nicely into a tight 3 hour, 15 minute timeslot. What are they going to do if the game goes to overtime; bump the NFL for McCain? It'd be like the Heidi incident all over again. Minus the Swiss, of course.

Tuesday Thoughts

* My buddy Ben (and his brother Michael) got up early this morning to watch the Red Sox game and, as you've probably read, it was well worth the pre-dawn wakeup call. (Were you aware that with the new daylight savings date, the sun doesn't rise until about 6:30 in the morning? I had no idea.) Anyway, one thing: Everyone is talking about Manny's pose after hitting his go-ahead RBI double in the 10th and how he stood at home plate because he thought it was gone. After a few DVR rewinds, we came to a different conclusion. Because Manny didn't do his normal homer hop and/or jersey puff-out, we thought he was actually curious to see where the ball would land and never thought to run because, you know, he's Manny. Normally Manny knows when it's gone. This time, I think he was just genuinely interested to see what would happen.

* Great picture of David Ortiz taken by Junko Kimora of Getty Images. It's so good, it looks fake.

* There was also this gem of Manny holding up the check he received for being the game's MVP.

Manny looks so happy. Maybe he thinks it's the league MVP award. The total looks impressive, but as Kramer and his Japanese businessman friends learned, yen-to-dollar conversion can be deceiving. (One million yen equals about $8,400 in American dollars.)

* If you've watched PTI or SportsCenter today, you've doubtlessly seen the Royals' Joey Gathright jumping over a Dodgers pitcher. This is old hat for Gathright, as evidenced by this old YouTube clip.

* The story about Michael Jordan's feud with Sports Illustrated is well-known. When Jordan retired from basketball (for the first time) and tried his hand at baseball, SI ran a cover story on the effort with the headline, "Bag It Michael!" For years afterwards, Jordan refused to talk to the venerable sports magazine.

In both the excellent SportsCentury episode on Jordan and movie Michael Jordan to the Max, it is inferred that the feud was due, mainly, to the cover head. But after reading the Steve Wulf article (thanks to the new and very cool SI Vault), I'm thinking Jordan was just as mad about the story than the cover. Whatever you think of Jordan's quest to play baseball, I hardly think it was the "disgrace to baseball" Wulf suggests it was. Read the article; it seems mean just for the sake of being mean.

* ESPN ombudsman Lee Anne Schreiber is the best thing to happen to the network in a long time. Her critiques of the media conglomerate are almost always spot-on and I had hoped people at the network were carefully listening to her advice and implementing it. After getting back into watching the 11:00 SportsCenter during college basketball season, I noticed that it didn't completely suck; particularly when Scott Van Pelt and John Buccigross host. Schreiber agrees. Her latest column addresses this surprising phenomenon. (Bonus points for criticizing the "Greatest Highlight" series where Chris Berman did his own calls instead of the famous ones. The first time I saw this, I was all excited to hear the classic Jack Buck call of Kirk Gibson's famous Game 1 homerun off Dennis Eckersley. But instead of hearing, "I don't believe what I just saw," we were instead subjected to Berman yammering on like an idiot and adding his awful "back, back, back" homer call.)

* Pour out a little hot sauce tonight; Al Copeland, the founder of Popeyes, died Saturday at the age of 64. In high school and on breaks from college, my friends and I probably visited the local Popeyes two to three times per week. I still stop by every now and then, but the new management has made it less homey. I miss the old manager, Cal. He always had the the hot sauce ready and threw in extra tenders almost every time (not that I needed it, I can't even finish three tenders. I eat like a four-year old girl. A skinny four-year old girl.) The day Popeye's changed the sweet & sour sauce was quite a traumatic event for me.
It wasn't until a few months ago that I knew Popeyes was started by the same owner of Copeland's restaurant, which explained why the red beans and rice there were so awesome. The other night I was in the mood for some, but upon driving to the nearby chain restaurant, I discovered it was closed.
I plan to celebrate Copeland's life later this week with my standard order: a three tender combo with fries. You can have your KFC and Bojangles; I'll always be a Popeyes man. (The New York Times obit is a lot more interesting than the AP's. Read it; Copeland was a pretty fascinating character. I also never knew that Popeyes owned Church's chicken; a favorite for Wake Forest tailgates.)

UCLA Is Going To Win It All

Between the two games the refs gift-wrapped for them earlier this month and the amazing no-call on Texas A&M's final attempt, the stars seem aligned for UCLA to win the National Championship. Yesterday I posted a picture that showed the Aggies' Donald Sloan getting hacked by UCLA F Josh Shipp. Today, Deadspin linked to an even better shot of the foul. Not only is Sloan getting a wrist-clothesline by Shipp, but another UCLA player has his hand on his wrist.

Greg Paulus Commands Disrespect

* The New York Times story on West Virginia's upset of Duke led with the fact that the Blue Devils eight high school All-Americans were topped by a Mountaineer team that featured none. At the end of the story, this fantastic quote was recounted:

As a reporter was leaving, the reserve Cam Thoroughman asked if Duke point guard Greg Paulus was one of the eight McDonald’s all-Americans. When told yes, Thoroughman said: “Oh my God. Are you kidding?”

* The story today is that Michigan State beat my man-crush Levance Fields and his Pitt Panthers because of Drew Neitzel. And that's almost entirely correct. Neitzel was awesome and the Spartans advanced due, in large part, to his shooting heroics. But Michigan State also received a boon from one official who called a phantom moving screen and a ridiculous charge late in the game that took crucial possessions away from Pitt. (The charge, in particular, was the most egregiously bad call of the Tournament. It was worse than the Paulus out of bounds play because in that one, at least the ref had to be looking at the ball and Paulus' foot. On the Fields charge, there was nothing he could have been looking at to suggest that a charge had occurred.) The same ref also called a palming violation about two full seconds after the alleged violation took place. The call itself wasn't awful, but you can't call something two seconds after it happens. Len Elmore was going nuts about that one.
If it sounds like I'm bitching a lot about the officiating this year, it's because I am. It's been atrocious. A few weeks ago I heard somebody listing bad officiating as the reason they don't like college basketball. That's fine, but the guy then followed that up with, "that's why I'm an NBA fan. Their refs are professionals." Professionals, which is code for, "they get paid more to suck more."

* Stanford coach Trent Johnson is entirely to blame for getting tossed in his team's eventual victory over Marquette. He was stupid for being so far out on the court after getting one technical, but I place some blame on the assistants who should have been grabbing him and preventing their head coach him from complaining a second time. I mean, Johnson's his own man and it's completely his fault, but you always see assistants talking sense into the head coaches in those situations. Stanford's were "trailing on the play".

* It never felt like UCLA was going to lose that game last night and I suppose that feeling was correct because after looking at this picture, it seems that the officials were never going to let A&M win. This is the final play of the game. Looks like the UCLA player got all ball. And by "ball", I mean "forearm". (Thanks to Spiro for the heads up on the pic and the WVU quotes.)

Duke's Tears of Unfathomable Sadness

Since making the Final Four in 2004, this is how Duke has fared in the NCAA Tournament:

2005 - #1 seed - Lost Sweet 16 to #5 Michigan State
2006 - #1 seed - Lost Sweet 16 to #4 LSU
2007 - #6 seed - Lost 1st Round to #11 VCU
2007 - #2 seed - Lost 2nd round to #7 West Virginia

That's four straight losses to a team seeded substantially lower. Throw in Duke's loss as a #1 to #5 Indiana in 2002 and that's four Tournaments in the past seven where Duke has been a #1 or #2 seed but failed to make the Regional Final. In each of the past two seasons, Duke has started off strong but faltered down the stretch. I'm not about to question Mike Krzyzewski's coaching ability - if he's not the best college coach of all-time, he's on a very short list - but there's something wrong in Durham and it's very interesting to see whether anyone in the Duke-loving press will address this. Coach K's resume makes him immune to criticism, and it does say a lot that his struggles involve losing in the Tournament while his peers like Jim Boehim and Gary Williams struggle by missing the Tournament. However, Duke is hardly the college basketball dynasty it once was. They get the best players, have one of the most favorable schedules (the Blue Devils played zero non-conference road games this year) and have the most television exposure; but the results have not been there of late. And most of us couldn't be happier.

This May Shock You...

You might remember Greg Paulus' acrobat save of a ball going out of bounds last night during Duke's one-point win over Belmont. He dove towards the Duke baseline to retrieve the ball, hopped in the air, tried to call timeout, didn't get the timeout (new rules prohibit that) and then threw it back to DeMarcus Nelson. At the time, it looked like Paulus was out of bounds when he made the throw, but seeing as how the ref was right on top of the play, Belmont didn't argue too much and the CBS announcers and directors completely ignored the play, it was quickly forgotten. Luckily, an enterprising Maryland fan wasn't satisfied with the call and went back to look. What he found could startle you. Seriously, you might want to sit down for this... Paulus was clearly out of bounds and the official looking at the play didn't call it.
I know, I know. We're all aware that officials would never miss an obvious call or favor a specific team. Clearly, this was just an honest mistake. Maybe the ref blinked for the two-tenths of a second Paulus' foot was on the ground while he held the ball. Maybe the ref continued his blink when Paulus clearly threw the ball back on the court while jumping back up after landing. Either way, it was a mere oversight. I refuse to believe that any referee would ever give Duke the benefit of a swallowed whistle. And I'm also certain the CBS didn't notice that Paulus was out of bounds either, which is why they didn't show the replay. Their broadcasts are impartial affairs; they don't care whether Duke or Belmont advances to play in the highlighted, nationally telecast 2:10 p.m. game tomorrow. Why would they? Belmont and Duke have the same sized national fanbase.
Check out this amazing YouTube job before it gets taken down:

NCAA Tournament: Day One Thoughts

- Oh, Belmont. Belmont, Belmont, Belmont. Instead of working myself up into a lather, I'll just turn it over to Dennis Green:

The interesting thing about that game was that Duke didn't really play all that poorly. Yeah, they didn't shoot well from beyond the arc, but that's always the danger with them. Most of the times these 2/15 games are close, it's a case of the higher-seeded team laying an egg. Duke did not. (Except for DeMarcus Nelson; but his not showing up to big games is routine.)

- Mike Krzyzewski coached the game while battling the flu. So, if Duke had lost, does that mean Pete Gaudet would have been credited with the loss?

- My favorite moment of the game is when this slow white guy on Belmont had the ball at the top of the key and only Greg Paulus between him and the hoop. You could see the guy's thought process as he decided what to do, finally saying to himself, "screw it, it's Greg Paulus" before taking him to the hole. I thought that was the ultimate sign of disrespect for Paulus. It was delightful.

- My two favorite lines of the day:

Bob Wenzel: After a Greg Paulus kicked it out to Gerald Henderson who made an open three: "Nice play by Krzyzewski by Coach K."
I could go on all day about Wenzel and Craig Bolerjack. They were truly awful, but it's late and I'm tired.

Carter Blackburn: About Stanford player Taj Finger, repeatedly: "Finger sticks it in there again!"

- That Jordan "Cinderella" commercial with Chris Paul, Josh Howard and John Thompson III is awesome.

I think I watch more commercials now most of them are shot in HD. On a related note, it's good to know that this is still our country. I had forgotten.

- Jay Bilas never shuts up.
- The Michael Beasley/OJ Mayo game was kind of a bust, and I'd like to thank the officials for that. Just like in the last big-time player matchup in the Tournament (Oden/Hibbert) the refs decided to make their presence known early in the game and completely controlled it for the duration. Beasley picked up two cheapies by the under 16 timeout and USC had every player in foul trouble midway through the second half. I had zero rooting interest in that game, but was getting so frustrated with the ticky-tack calls that were disrupting any semblance of game flow.

- How can Bob Huggins instantly transmit stupidity to any team he coaches? West Virginia committed some of the silliest fouls and made the most ridiculous turnovers late in their game with Arizona. Had the Mountaineers not shot the lights out late in the second half, we'd be talking about another Huggins disappointment.

- There's a guy on BYU named Chris Collinsworth? How did I not know about this? How did you not know about this - and if you did, why didn't you tell me?

- Every year there's one team whose game I watch and think to myself, "thank goodness I'm not a fan of (blank)". Congratulations USC, you took that award with ease this Tournament. (Note: I've been in that position twice before: Maryland/UCLA in '00 and Wake Forest/Butler in '01. It's not a good feeling.)

- Despite the fact that it was a blowout the entire way, CBS didn't switch off the George Mason game in the D.C. area. I think CBS confused local pride with devoted fandom. Nobody really cares about George Mason basketball around here. We all became fans during the '06 run and many people continue to root for them, but that's a lot different than being like a Georgetown or Maryland. I only hope they don't pull the same crap tomorrow with American.

2008 NCAA Tournament Preview

The greatest day of the year is upon us. Enjoy.

East
#1 North Carolina vs. #16 Mount St. Mary's
Why does the "Saint" get abbreviated and not the "Mount"? Is there some sort of unspoken hierarchy of abbreviations which puts mountains ahead of those canonized by the church? Do you think William McKinley talks smack about this to Mother Teresa during their weekly games of Stratego?
Pick: North Carolina

#8 Indiana vs. #9 Arkansas
Buying out Kelvin Sampson's contract cost Indiana $750,000, which sounds like a lot of money until you factor in how much the athletic department is going to save on cell phone texting plans.
Pick: Arkansas

#5 Notre Dame vs. #12 George Mason
Notre Dame and George Mason have the same amount of college football bowl wins since 1994. On a related note, George Mason doesn't have a football team.
Pick: Notre Dame

#4 Washington St. vs. #13 Winthrop
What can I say, I love cougars.
Pick: Washington St.

#6 Oklahoma vs. #11 St. Joseph's
St. Joseph's Feast Day is March 18. Phil Martelli's feast day: The other 364.
Pick: Oklahoma

#3 Louisville vs. #14 Boise State
I bet Rick Pitino had his team practice defending the 'statue of liberty' play this week.
Pick: Louisville

#7 Butler vs. #10 South Alabama
The University of South Alabama's abbreviated name is USA. If USA basketball should happen to lose this game, I'm totally blaming Allen Iverson's selfish play.
Pick: Butler

#2 Tennessee vs. #15 American
For big games, Bruce Pearl wears a garish orange blazer to pump up his team. So for this game, I think it'd be pretty cool if American coach Jeff Jones came out of the locker room decked out in Uncle Sam gear. You know, to kind of stick it to the man - the man, in this instance, being Bruce Pearl apparently.
Pick: Tennessee

Second Round
#1 North Carolina over #9 Arkansas
#5 Notre Dame over #4 Washington St. (I hate this pick)
#3 Louisville over #6 Oklahoma
#2 Tennessee over #7 Butler

Regional Semifinal
#1 North Carolina over #5 Notre Dame
#2 Tennessee over #3 Louisville

East Regional Final
#2 Tennessee over #1 North Carolina

Midwest
#1 Kansas vs. #16 Portland St.
My buddy Phil thinks we should start calling Kansas F Mario Chalmers "The Superintendent". If this were the old country - I forget which one exactly - Abraham Simpson's father would think this was the greatest idea since sliced bread, sliced bread having been invented the previous winter.
Pick: Kansas

#8 UNLV vs. #9 Kent St.
If I had to guess, I'll go ahead and say this will be my annual "game I'll assume I picked correctly, no matter which team ends up winning".
Pick: UNLV

#5 Clemson vs. #12 Villanova
If Oliver Purnell can lead this Clemson team deep into the Tournament, he will become the most popular coach in school history as well as providing a wonderful face for the university's athletic department, at which point Tommy Bowden will cut him.
Pick: Villanova

#4 Vanderbilt vs. #13 Siena
Between Vanderbilt ("see, it's right here: The Gloria Vanderbilt Collection"), Siena (the zookeeper who responds "I'm hungry, let's get something to eat" to George's declaration of love) and Drake ("I love the Drake!), this field has a very Seinfeldian edge to it. It's just too bad Kramerica University slipped off the bubble after losing in their conference tournament.
Pick: Vanderbilt

#6 USC vs. #11 Kansas State
Two of the best freshman in the country, O.J. Mayo and Michael Beasley, face off in a game that also features two of the worst coaches in the country, Tim Floyd and Frank Martin. Jeez, you'd think for the amount of money Mayo and Beasley got to go to these schools they could have afforded better coaches.
Pick: Kansas State

#3 Wisconsin vs. #14 Cal State-Fullerton
This week on American Idol some dude completely butchered the Beatles' "A Day In The Life". It was so bad, Paul McCartney considered it the worst moment of his week. That being said, I'd rather view that performance on a continuous loop rather than watch any part of this game.
Pick: Wisconsin

#7 Gonzaga vs. #10 Davidson
If these teams switched jerseys at halftime, how long do you think it'd be before someone noticed? Ten -- fifteen minutes?
Pick: Davidson

#2 Georgetown vs. #15 UMBC
Sadly, this is probably the closest Georgetown will ever come to playing Maryland.
Pick: Georgetown

Second Round
#1 Kansas over #8 UNLV
#4 Vanderbilt over #12 Villanova
#3 Wisconsin over #11 Kansas State
#2 Georgetown over #10 Davidson

Regional Semifinal
#4 Vanderbilt over #1 Kansas
#3 Wisconsin over #2 Georgetown

West Regional Final
#4 Vanderbilt over #3 Wisconsin

South
#1 Memphis vs. #16 Texas-Arlington
I never understand why teams with automatic bids are so happy to see their names come up on CBS' Selection Show. I mean, I know why they're jumping around and celebrating, but I can't imagine seeing your school's name next to a "16" is that exciting. It's not like it's a surprise or anything. Frankly, if I were a Texas-Arlington player, I'd have be giddy from the time my team won the conference tourney right up until the moment the grim realization that a massacre at the hands of Memphis become a sobering reality.
Pick: Memphis

#8 Mississippi State vs. #9 Oregon
If I were a headline writer, I'd be hoping for MSU F Charles Rhodes to make the game-winning shot in this one, thus leading to the inevitable banner scream: "CHARLES IN CHARGE!" Luckily for us, Rhodes doesn't have to do that in order for me to show this - which was entirely the point of this whole charade in the first place:

Watch Charles' leap at the :48 second mark. It's a thing of beauty.

Pick: Mississippi State

#5 Michigan State vs. #12 George Mason
It's the leg-positioning that really gets me, I think. That and the fact that his arms are perfectly perpendicular to his body as his attempts to choke Buddy - for, I think, making Charles wait on him hand and foot while laid up in bed with a fake injury and entertaining a female guest. I could be wrong about this, but I'm sure The Wolfman will email me momentarily if I am. He'd also want me to mention that Sandra Kerns, who plays the Powell family mother, is the sister of Growing Pains actress Joanna Kerns.
Pick: Michigan State

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #13 Oral Roberts

Dave Wannstedt was sitting behind the Pittsburgh bench during the Big East Championship Game. That's like begging for karma to slap you upside the head, Jamie Dixon.

Pick: Pittsburgh

#6 Marquette vs. #11 Kentucky
When I saw this match-up, my first thought was "this looks like a national championship game from the late-'70s". Upon researching my hunch, I realized that, like most of my hunches, this one was completely wrong. Completely daunted (you notice nobody ever says they were "daunted" only that they were "undaunted"? Yet it's the reverse for the adjective. Huh.), I forgot about this until I read Tony Kornheiser's bracket notes in The Washington Post where, of this game, he wrote, "this is a Final Four game in the '70s." It's good to know that me and a curmudgeonly, balding old man have the same thought processes.
Pick: Marquette

#3 Stanford vs. #14 Cornell
Stanford C Brook Lopez was suspended for the first-half of the semester for academic violations, which makes him a prime candidate to replace recently-booted Virginia Tech RB Brandon Ore.
Pick: Stanford

#7 Miami (FL) vs. #10 St. Mary's
I have a feeling St. Mary's is about to get mudded by the 7th Seed Crew.
Pick: St. Mary's

#2 Texas vs. #15 Austin Peay
Austin Peay was founded in 1929 as the Austin Peay State Normal School for Rural White Teachers and is named after a Tennessee governor who died while in office. I guess this means the Austin Peay Governors are technically the "Governor's Governors", which, interestingly enough, is also what Eliot Spitzer used to call his kibbles and bits.
Pick: Texas

Second Round
#1 Memphis over #8 Mississippi State
#4 Pittsburgh over #5 Michigan State
#3 Stanford over #6 Marquette
#2 Texas over #10 St. Mary's

Regional Semifinal
#1 Memphis over #4 Pittsburgh (I still have Pitt in my pool. My attempt to go all Costanza and do the opposite of every instinct I have has, apparently, failed. There's still time for me to change my mind though. I can close my eyes and see myself crossing out Pitt's name three times after they lose to Michigan State on Sunday.)
#2 Texas over #3 Stanford

East Regional Final
#1 Memphis over #2 Texas

West
#1 UCLA vs. #16 Mississippi Valley State
MVSU has zero wins against the RPI's Top 200. According to Seth Greenberg, this would have made them a strong candidate for an at-large berth had they not won the SWAC Tournament.
Pick: UCLA

#8 BYU vs. #9 Texas A&M
Texas A&M's road uniforms are maroon and black. Not surprisingly, new Redskins coach Jim Zorn has the Aggies going all the way to the Final Four.
Pick: BYU

#5 Drake vs. #12 Western Kentucky
Most likely locations of Drake:
1) Drake, NE
2) Drake, TN
3) Drake, IA
4) In a display case at the end of the aisle
Pick: Western Kentucky

#4 Connecticut vs. #13 San Diego
I seriously considered going with San Diego in this one but, in the end, I was worried that LaDanian Tomlinson's sulking on the bench could hurt team chemistry.
Pick: Connecticut

#6 Purdue vs. #11 Baylor
In some of its school literature, Baylor refers to itself as BUB (Baylor University Bears). So once Baylor retires, I suppose they'll be getting two pairs of knit pants, some pastel cardigans and moving to Miami Beach.
Pick: Purdue

#3 Xavier vs. #14 Georgia
The state of Georgia was initially settled by criminals, which makes it all the more amazing that the Bulldogs didn't pursue Bob Huggins after he was fired by Cincinnati.
Pick: Xavier

#7 West Virginia vs. #10 Arizona
Even though Morgantown is a short drive from Washington DC, WVU coach Bob Huggins seemed disappointed the Mountaineers were sent to the Nation's Capital. My guess: He heard about D.C.'s zero-tolerance DUI policy.
Pick: West Virginia

#2 Duke vs. #15 Belmont
Who will be the next Blue Devil to cry on court during an NCAA Tournament loss? Current odds:
Brian Zoubek 15:1
Gerald Henderson 10:1
Kyle Singler 6:1
Jon Scheyer 3:1
Steve Wojociehowski 3:2
Greg Paulus 1:7
Dick Vitale CLOSED
Pick: Duke

Second Round
#1 UCLA over #8 BYU
#4 Connecticut over #12 Western Kentucky
#3 Xavier over #6 Purdue
#7 West Virginia over #3 Duke

Regional Semifinal
#1 UCLA over #4 Connecticut
#3 Xavier over #7 West Virginia

South Regional Final
#1 UCLA over #3 Xavier

Final Four
#2 Tennessee over #4 Vanderbilt
#1 Memphis over #1 UCLA

2008 National Final
Dear lord, do I really have three teams from Tennessee in the Final Four? I'm an idiot. I have Kansas and Pittsburgh making the Final Four in my pool, in spite of being terrified of Kansas in the Tournament. Bill Self does not have a good track record. Picking one of his teams is like voting Libertarian. Sure, it always sounds like a good idea, but so did communism at first.
I picked Kansas at the start of the season, like I always do, but I don't want to get burned by them again in my pools. Wait, so why do I still have them in my pool? You see, this is why I hate these things. Maybe I need to take a cue from my buddy Jaffe and just stop with the pools and fantasy football and all that stuff; I truly think it might lead to more enjoyment for me.
Anyway, I've been on the Tennessee bandwagon for a while now, and figure I might as well ride them 'til their inevitable Sweet 16 upset loss. Carolina's defense is too suspect to sustain a four-game run against good teams, Kansas and Georgetown go through too many periods of basketball malaise and Texas: Rick Barnes. As for UCLA, I can't figure out whether those two "shoulda been" losses are positive or negative. I've wavered back and forth, but whichever one I end up choosing will be the incorrect answer. Let's go with negative. (Hint: Pick UCLA now.) I'll go against my instinct and, therefore, go with my instinct and pick the Tennessee Volunteers to win the 2008 National Championship.

How To Fill Out Your NCAA Tournament Bracket

Opinions on how to fill out your NCAA brackets are like embarrassing drunken stories – everybody, except the Amish, has one.
The problem with bracket tips is that everyone claims to be an expert because they’ve read a one-paragraph summary of South Alabama's season in their local newspaper and learned about A.J. Graves from ESPN’s Bracketology special. Everybody has can’t-miss teams and potential sleepers today, but by Friday they’ll have all forgotten about them and will already be on another bandwagon.
In reality, nobody can predict the NCAA Tournament with any real degree of accuracy and that’s what makes the thing so damn fun.
To be successful with your brackets you don’t need to read every single statistic and analyze game-film, you just need to combine a little bit of knowledge with a little bit of analysis and then hope you step in a big pile of lucky.
Go on any one of the three major sports sites on the Internet (ESPN, SI and Sportsline) and you’ll be deluged with information ranging from the size of Winthrop’s center (6'9) to the three-point percentage of Xavier’s starting backcourt (41.3%) to how smart Jay Bilas wants us to think he is (incalculable). Just like with any piece of info, you’ll be able to skew the data anyway you choose. If you want to believe that Cornell can beat Stanford, you’ll likely find a way to justify your prediction. If not, it won’t be difficult to rationalize selecting the Cardinal instead.
Sifting through all the data, info, predictions, analysis and stories is a daunting task. How can you separate the good tips from the bad ones, the pertinent info from the worthless? You can’t, which is why you should keep your research to a minimum. Identify the best teams in the major conferences and at least three or four mid-major upstarts and go from there.
Listen to what experts have to say, but, as you’ve learned from an early age, don’t believe everything you read (or hear). This week everyone will say that there’s no way a #2 seed will lose in the 1st round this year (as if those monumental upsets are ever expected), or how UCLA is a lock for the Final Four (just like North Carolina was last year).
One analyst will guarantee that Kansas will come out of the Midwest (last year the NCAA thankfully put a halt on calling regions by their location-name and has gone back to the old directional designations. For once, my stubbornness has managed to outlast a new, unwelcome change. Maybe this means the Wizards will go back to being the Bullets next season) and another will be just as sure that Georgetown will come out of that region.
But nobody really knows, and therein lies the beauty of March Madness: Anything can happen, and usually does.
A #2 seed could easily lose in the first round, it’s happened four times before. And there is no such thing as a lock for the Final Four as Duke has proven countless times over the past decade.
Did anybody think that Coppin State would beat South Carolina a few years back? How many people really predicted that Syracuse would cut the nets down in 2003? The stunning success of George Marson in 2006 will be the proof of this rule for years to come. On that Selection Sunday, the so-called experts on ESPN were complaining that George Mason didn't deserve a bid over Hofstra. The next weekend they were patting themselves on the back for picking the Patriots as their sleeper.
Strange things happen in March, which is why it’s so hard to win a pool. If being knowledgeable about college basketball translated into NCAA pool success, then Digger Phelps and Andy Katz would predict all 63 of the games correctly. Instead, both analysts finished below my Dad on ESPN.com’s Tournament Challenge last year, and I’m pretty sure Pops still thinks Dean Smith is at UNC (if he even knew Dean Smith existed at all).
It’s a cliché, but in so many office pools the secretary who has never watched college basketball and thinks that Gonzaga is the new Viagra competitor often wins.
Why? Because there is no right way to make your picks. I’ve watched a lot of college basketball this season, probably more than 98% of the people I will be competing against in various pools. Yet, I’ll probably finish up somewhere in the middle of the pack.
Why? Because the only thing predictable about the NCAA Tournament is its unpredictability.
And that’s what makes March Madness so wonderful. If each of the four top seeds advanced to the Final Four every season, filling out brackets and watching the 1st and 2nd round games wouldn’t be as fun. The one-and-done format of the Tournament lends itself to high drama, stunning upsets and intense pressure on every single possession. And that, in turn, makes filling out brackets an exercise in guesswork, at best.
With that word of warning, I now will offer some tips on how to have a great looking bracket on Thursday morning turn into a mediocre bracket by Thursday night.

Be wary of picking too many big upsets.
Me giving out this advice is like Amy Winehouse being the keynote speaker at an A.A. Convention, but this year I plan to tone down my upset zeal. Really, I do. (Note: This is the fourth straight year I’ve written that sentence. Maybe I need A.A.)
In years past I always picked a lot of shockers. (And not just Wichita State.) Sometimes it works; I remember the glorious run of the Kent State Golden Flashes to the Elite Eight in 2002 and basking in the praises of my peers for such a clairvoyant pick. But for every Kent State circa 2002 on my resume, there are about 40 Kent State 2006s, when the Golden Flashes were a #12 seed I thought would make a deep run, but ended up being out of the Tournament at 2:30 on the first Thursday. The Wolfman knows what I’m talking about; he had Southern Illinois in the Elite Eight back in ‘03. They lost in the first round. I haven't let him forget it.
You’re better off having a few upsets early (#12 over #5 has happened in 14 of the past 16 years; mainly because it's not that big of an upset) and then picking a sleeper team that falls in the #6 to #10 range to make it to the Sweet 16, (like UNLV and Vanderbilt last year) but nothing more than that.
Look at it this way: If you pick a big upset and it doesn’t pan out, you’re brackets will be crippled. If the upset does happen, it won’t kill you since nobody else in your pool is likely to pick it anyway. Remember, nobody had George Mason in the Final Four either.
Keep the upsets to a minimum and choose your Sweet 16 teams carefully, peppering in a #7 or #10 seed (at least one #2 seed has been upset in the second-round in every Tournament since 1996) along with a mostly chalk bracket. This leads me to the next tip…

In the later rounds, ignore seedings
#3 Stanford is a fine team, but in a game against #4 Pittsburgh on a neutral floor, the Cougars would be a considerable underdog.
A handy rule is this: If the seeds are apart by three or less, an upset it’s not, I must profess. (Sorry, I’m on a bit of a Dr. Seuss kick.)
Drake has been ranked higher than Connecticut all season, yet some might consider it an upset if the Bulldogs win in that Sweet 16 match-up. In actuality, it will just be one good team beating another.
This is similar to the next rule:

Don’t be scared of picking numerical upsets, particularly in first round #8/#9 and #7/#10 games
A few years back Maryland, as a #5 seed, played College of Charleston (#12) in the first round. At the time Maryland was ranked #22 in the nation while Charleston was #14 in the polls. This is an extreme example (CoC won, mainly because Gary Williams spent the entire week complaining about the match-up), but oftentimes you’ll find #10 or #11 seeds who are more highly regarded than the #6 and #7 seeds they are playing.
Ten days ago, Clemson and Villanova were both bubble teams. Friday, they’re set to meet in a 5/12 match-up. 'Nova looks like the huge underdog because of their seed, but in reality these teams are about the same. Clemson gets a slight edge from Vegas (-4), but hardly the points you'd expect from such a big favorite by seed.
As for the 8/9 games, pay no attention to seeding. Consider, #8 seeds only win 47.3% of first round games. The other first-round percentages:
#1 seeds - 100%; #16 seeds - 0%
#2 seeds - 96%; #15 seeds - 4%
#3 seeds - 84%; #14 seeds - 16%
#4 seeds - 81%; #13 seeds - 19%
#5 seeds - 71%; #12 seeds - 29%
#6 seeds - 69%; #11 seeds - 31%
#7 seeds - 63%; #10 seeds - 37%
#8 seeds - 47%; #9 seeds - 53%

Pick three out of the four #1 seeds to make it to the Elite Eight
From 2003-2005, this rule didn't hold true. But in '06 and '07 it came back to life, especially last year when all four #1 seeds advanced to their respective Regional Finals. From 1997 to 2003 there was only one year when less than three top seeds advanced to the final eight. (That makes it seven out of the past 11 years.) As it is, you have to pick at least two #1’s to advance to the RF (in the 21 year history of the 64-team field, at least two #1 seeds have made it to the Elite Eight in every Tournament). But…

Don’t pick more than two #1 seeds to reach the Final Four
In only three of the 23 years that the 64-team field has existed have three #1 seeds made it all the way to the Final Four. Last year, despite all those #1 seeds playing for the right to get to Atlanta, only two advanced. You'll be safe picking two, but definitely pick at least #1 seed to win their region; 2006 was the first time ever that a Final Four was ever played without a top seeded team.

Buck conventional wisdom
Let’s tie this tip into the last one. Memphis has suddenly become everyone’s favorite punching bag. Despite their gaudy record and the fact they've proven themselves time and again, analysts are looking for flaws in the Tigers' game. You know what? If you look at Hedi Klum's face close enough, I'm sure you can find some imperfections. But that doesn't mean she still ain't gettin it done. (Consider this the Matt Leinart Rule. When something is in the limelight for a long time, everyone looks for ways to knock it down a few pegs, whether it's deserved or not. Witness what's going on with Barack Obama. He was teflon for six months. Now that he's looking like the Democratic nominee, the media is taking the gloves off. That story about his crazy pastor was older than Chris Lofton; it's no coincidence that it didn't gain traction until Obama became a front-runner.)
As for Memphis, yeah, they can't shoot free throws. But it really hasn't hurt them much in their previous 34 games much. I'm worried about it too, but not so much that I'm automatically jumping on the Texas bandwagon.
This is reminiscent of what happened to St. Joe’s three years ago. But, the Hawks showed they were worthy of their lofty ranking and came within a Jameer Nelson jumper of advancing to the Final Four.
Think of how much it will help your cause if you jump on Memphis' bandwagon right as everyone else is jumping off. You’ll have a huge advantage in your pool since everybody else probably will have them losing out to Texas or Pittsburgh or Michigan State.
Another potential candidate for the backlash phenomenon is Xavier. It’s funny – if the Muskateers were #5 seed in their region instead of a #3, they'd likely be considered a sleeper. But because a lot of people are turned off by their high seed, the A-10 regular season champs are thought of as overrated.
That won’t matter once the ball is tipped. Xavier, despite the fact that most of us don't know anything about them, has as a great chance to knock off Duke to make it to the Regional Finals. If you pick them to make it, you could find yourself rolling in the dough Indecent Proposal-style in three short weeks.

Go out on a limb
I won $300 in a college football bowl pool two years ago because I picked Texas to beat USC in the Rose Bowl. Whether I really thought Texas would win or not was irrelevant. I figured the Longhorns were a better play, as most people were likely going to pick the Trojans. It worked, and I was able to spend $300 on Patron shots to keep warm one cold night in January.
Pick your Tournament the same way. Even if you think North Carolina is going to win, consider having another team beat them in the Finals. Think of it this way: If you pick the Heels, you'll probably be joined by at least 50% of the people in your pool. That means you have to have more Final Four teams, more Sweet 16 teams and more first-round wins than a whole bunch of people in order to win the pot. But if you take Texas to beat UNC in the Finals, that will probably be all it takes for you to bring in the dough, first-round results be damned. (Unless you live in the Lone Star State, but we’ll get to that.)

But remember, conventional wisdom is also a good thing
The prohibitive favorites for the 2000, 2001, 2002, 2004 and 2007 Tournaments were Michigan State, Duke, Maryland, Connecticut and Florida, respectively. I don’t need to tell you who won those five tournaments.
In 2005, most analysts believed that North Carolina and Illinois were the two teams to beat and would likely meet in the NCAA Finals. They did.
In last year's edition of this column, I wrote:

There’s a reason why Florida and Ohio State are big favorites this year: Because they are two of the best teams in Tournament.

Guess who didn't pick either team to go to the Finals?
My point: Don’t get cute with these picks. Memphis is 33-1 for a reason. UCLA hasn't made two straight Final Fours or dominated the Pac 10 by accident. They’re great teams. Even if you don’t believe in Carolina's defense (like me) or think that Memphis' free-throw shooting makes them very vulnerable late in the Tournament (like me), the first two rounds aren’t the time to test that theory. Play it safe and move those two to the Elite Eight, at the very least, even if you think UCLA deserved a #2 seed because they should have lost their last two regular season games. After that point, you can go nuts.

Put at least one sleeper into the Final Four
Along with the aforementioned Mr. Mason (#11) in '06, Michigan State (#5 seed) in 2005, Georgia Tech (#3 seed) in 2004, Syracuse and Marquette (both #3) in 2003, Indiana (#5) in 2002, Maryland (#3) in 2001 and North Carolina and Wisconsin (both #8) in 2000 are recent examples of Final Four sleepers.
This year, look for teams that came on late (Louisville, Oklahoma) or battled through injuries during the season (Pittsburgh, Notre Dame).

Don’t poop pick where you eat
If you live in Washington D.C., don’t pick Georgetown to win unless you’re ready to bet your mortgage on it. If you live in Palo Alto, avoid moving Stanford deep into your brackets. And if you live within a 90 mile radius of Notre Dame, for Holtz’s sake, pick George Mason.
People are homers. They pick what they like and what they know. This is why Applebee’s is still in business despite serving the nastiest food this side of an Arby’s. (To double your fun, pick against your hometown team very early; if only to get the guy who runs your pool really mad at you.)

Beware of trendy picks
Trendiness is for suckers, Sarah-Jessica Parker and girls whose Facebook pictures solely consist of them in slutty clothing. I have been espousing the virtues of a unique offshoot of anti-trend philosophy since I began this blog four years ago, and my theory is nearly always proven correct. The theory: Beware of the bandwagon.
Earlier, I wrote about hopping on team's whose hatewagons have filled up. This theory operates on the same plain, but on a different level. Every year a few teams become the darlings of everyone's brackets. Avoid them like the plague. Or Britney Spears' nether-regions. (Same difference, I guess.)
Oftentimes these trendy teams tend to be highly seeded, and I’m obviously not going to tell you to stay away from the pocket square of the basketball world, UCLA. Everyone is picking UCLA to make the FInal Four. You'll be mocked and/or ridiculed if you don't. (Back to pocket squares for a second, my mom has a picture of me rocking the pocket square when I was four. Now Rick Reilly wears it in his goofy ad for SI.com and I can’t pop one in my breast pocket without looking like a tool). Anyway, try to avoid mid-seeded teams that a lot of people are picking to advance far.
Usually I have some examples here, but since I've avoided listening to, or reading about, the Tournament today, I'm not sure who the trendy picks are. I'm guessing Wisconsin and Pitt are getting a lot of love though.

Don’t read anything into the conference tournament losses
The only thing conference tournaments are good for is determining who is hot and giving teams that don’t win the National Championship a reason to be happy. (When a good team, a la North Carolina, wins the ACC Tournament, its fans will say, “that’s great, but all we want is the National Championship." In two weeks, when Tennessee scores 103 in regulation against them, those same Tar Heel fans will be bragging about their ACC Tourney win. And they’ll probably be wearing Crokies too.
On the flip side, Georgetown, Texas, Tennessee and Louisville all suffered tough losses in their respective conference tournaments, but won’t be any worse for the wear come Thursday. Except for Louisville. Because they're really overrated.

Under no circumstance should you ever listen to Dick Vitale
And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can’t stress that enough. Don’t just throw it out the window.

Beware of hyphenated schools
This is not applicable for this bracket since there’s only two hyphenated schools (Cal State-Fullerton and Texas-Arlington), but previous year’s advice works in an everyday sense too:
Sure, Wisconsin-Milwaukee might look and sound like a great pick (“well, I love eating wheels of cheese and Laverne and Shirley was my favorite sitcom involving sexually-ambiguous female roommates, so that team MUST be good!”), especially considering their run last year, but think about all the hyphenated celebrities you loathe. These include the former Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (I wasn’t even married to John Stamos like her, yet I still have considered taking Uncle Jesse’s last name. Come to think of it, how great would it be if her name had been Rebecca Romijn-Katsapalous) and Jean-Jacques Rousseau (let’s just say that my Philosophy grade sophomore year would have benefited if Mr. Anti-Private Property had kept his frog-thoughts to himself).
I even dislike people with hyphenated names that I’m supposed to like, like Nik Caner-Medley. I remember the first time I saw that tall drink of water I thought to myself, “man, I would hate this guy so much if he went to Duke.” And then I saw Lee Melchionni for the first time and realized how right I was.

Ignore the polls and the RPI
If you want to look at numbers, check out a team’s defensive efficiency and their cheerleaders. The defensive efficiency will give you insight into a team’s true defensive ability, by removing pace of play factors from statistics and focusing on a team's per-possession average instead. Looking at the cheerleaders will allow you to look at the cheerleaders.

Don’t fall into the Mason Trap
I’ve said this a few times already, but I wanted to reiterate the point. The George Mason thing was an aberration, not a trend.

When in doubt, pick the team you like less
Let’s say I pick Duke to go the Final Four. Now, I don’t like Duke. Some might even go so far as to say that I hate Duke. Others would say that I believe, along with North Korea, Cameron Indoor Stadium is the most evil place on earth. A select few might venture a guess that if I had to choose between watching Duke win the Final Four or having my nose repeatedly hit by Gerald Henderson’s dirty forearm, I’d put my ENT’s number on speed dial.
But I digress. I don’t like Duke, but if I’m having a hard time figuring out whether to put Duke or Xavier in the Elite Eight, I’ll pick Duke. That way, if those stuck-up, ref-baiting, dirty-playing preppies win, I can take consolation in the fact that it might end up winning me money. And if they lose, then I won’t be at all upset about losing money because it will mean that Jon Scheyer will cry himself to sleep on the shoulders of Greg Paulus, and knowing that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Maybe Chris Carawell can send them a box of tissues when they lose, unless he’s not done crying about Duke’s 2000 loss to Florida. (A quick note: The day after that game (which was a Sweet 16 match-up) I went to visit a friend at Duke – I was a freshman at Wake Forest at the time. (And yes, I had a friend that went to Duke. I was in therapy for two years dealing with this, so I’d rather not go there.) Anyway, I borrowed my buddy’s Florida Basketball t-shirt and wore it to Durham and didn’t take it off for the entire weekend. (Note: I’m not a Florida fan, but was that weekend because anybody who beats Duke is cool with me.) Once on campus I would walk up to people, with my Florida t-shirt in full view, and ask how I could get Duke Final Four tickets or where I could buy a Duke Final Four hat. Other times I would run up to random people and, insinuating that I hadn’t seen the result, ask them if they knew the score of the game.
Amazingly, not one person said anything remotely creative or derogatory to me after my snide comments. Some even laughed. The worst I got were a few dirty looks and some mumbled comments as I walked away.
Now, if those Cameron Crazies were actually crazy, they would have chased me off campus, pocket protectors in tow. Instead I had the run of those losers for three days and they didn’t even break out a “how many national championships has Florida won?” comment. What a bunch of pansies. But I digress.)
This rule works also for teams you like also. I want Georgetown and Kansas to do well in the Tourney. Sure, it’d be sweet if I picked one of them to win it all and I predicted they’d do so. But if I’m not sure, I’ll pick, say, Tennessee or UCLA instead.
That way, if either G'Town or KU wins, I’ll be happy enough that it won’t matter if my brackets are screwed up. If they don’t, then I’ll still have a chance at winning some money. If I pick my favorite teams and they end up losing, then I’m doubly screwed.
Let’s call this the “Cut Your Losses” method.

Don’t pick more than one school without a state in its name to be in the Final Four
This means, if you have Butler, Pittsburgh, Memphis and Georgetown coming out of their respective regions, you better get back to work.
Most years the Final Four is dominated by schools with states in their name like Michigan State, Connectic