The King of All Player Haters

When it comes to player hating, I could give Silky Johnson a run for his money. Whether it's J.J. Redick, Derek Jeter, Eli Manning, Norwegians, people who wait to get their wallets out at a fast-food restaurant until after the cashier gives them the total, Kobe Bryant, Mike Rumph or Jim Bowden, I serve heaping doses of hate quite frequently on this web site. However, I'm but a mere amateur when compared to one Virginia man whose hatred of the Redskins is so profound, that I actually respect him. First, though, the back-story...
Virginia drivers are terrible. When I had to commute to Northern Virginia for a class this summer, I'd text my buddy Jaf every morning with ruminations on just how crappy they were. A normal one went something like, "you know, if virginia had joined the union, i'm pretty sure we would have lost the civil war". On a recent trip to Charlotte, I did a little seat-dance when I crossed the border from VA into NC to celebrate getting through the only state that based their driving laws on those of the Gestapo. (This has little to do with the story, I just thought it appropriate, since the state's motorists are one of the things I hate on the most.) To increase revenue streams in the commonwealth, the MVA issues specialized license plates to various groups. For $35 a month, you can get a plate that celebrates your alma mater, the military, your ownership of Harley Davidsons, a past-life as a POW or a love of fox hunting. There are over 180 specialized plates to choose from. One of the more popular ones is a Redskins plate that looks like this.

You see these frequently on the road, often on a car that is driving in two lanes or making a left-turn into oncoming traffic. (At least they're driving. Car owners with these plates are frequently pulled over the side of the road performing sobriety tests.) Usually, the 'Skins tags will have a 'Skins-related message like "SBChmp" or "ILuvJoe" or "Lavar4Eva". The vanity tags are always pro-Skins because, obviously, nobody would buy a Redskins plate if they didn't love the Redskins. Right?
My old buddy Matt thought so too, until he was driving last week in Alexandria and saw a BMW with the Redskins plate.


At first, Matt couldn't figure out what the tag meant. Was the guy chiding other teams for being loserz? Was he a self-hating 'Skins fan? It wasn't until Matt looked at a decal above the left brake light that he understood what Mr. BMW was trying to say.
The guy was repping the city of brotherly love with his lame PHI sticker. The only logical explanation is that Mr. BMW was an Eagles fan who hated the Redskins so much, he went and bought a Redskins plate to advertise just how loser-like he thought they were.
Forgetting the irony of an Eagles fan calling anybody a loser, numerous questions come to mind. First, why did he go with "LOSERZ"? Was "LOSERS" taken? If so, does the guy who has that plate have a DAL sticker on his trunk? Or is Mr. BMW from the Backstreetz? (Of course, I'm taking the rather large leap of faith that Mr. BMW actually knows to spell which, in itself, is far from a guarantee.)
Secondly, does the driver throw up and/or blow out his knee every time he gets near the end of a long road trip? And, finally, why would anyone pay $35 per year to advertise his hate for a team that has three Super Bowl championships to his team's zero?
So many questions, so little time. Redskins/Eagles kicks off in 270 minutes (not that I've been keeping track of that since I got up at 7:30 this morning - it was 780 minutes then) and I need to start preparing.
I think it will be a close game, decided upon by which secondary can make more plays. The Redskins didn't give up anything long to Miami, but left themselves vulnerable to the Dolphins' short passing attack as a result. If they can keep Donovan from hitting homeruns with his receivers, the Eagles offense could have a tough go at it.
Offensively, the Redskins need to pound the ball with Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts, thus setting up deep balls against the Eagles' Lito Sheppard-less secondary. If Reche Caldwell plays and can be an effective #3 receiver, that could open up Al Saunders' offense a bit, thus giving Chris Cooley some room to roam.
Since the 'Skins never do well on Monday Night, I'm picking against them. But you know I'm fully expecting them to win and make it a long commute for Mr. BMW tomorrow.
Thanks to Matt for sending in the pictures.