I (Don't) Wanna Talk to Sampson!

Next season will be the 20th year since Indiana’s last national basketball championship. It’s going to be about 20 more before they get another because, after the hiring of Oklahoma’s Kelvin Sampson, the Hoosiers have purchased a first-class ticket to mediocrity.
How on earth did Indiana decide on a tired, no-talent clown like Sampson when the coaching ranks are filled with either guys on-the-rise (Bruce Pearl, Jim Larranaga), major-conference stalwarts (John Beilein, Tom Crean) or former Dukies with wonderful hair (Quin Snyder)? Hiring Sampson after Mike Davis is like trading in a Geo Prism for a Hyundai Elantra.
Sampson has no upside. He has no potential. He’s climbed his own Everest (reaching a Final Four in 2002) and then fell-off it (one Tourney win in the past three seasons). Sampson has no redeeming qualities at all. He’s not young, he’s not talented, he’s not good and he’s already maxed-out his talent level. What the hell were they thinking?
Sampson’s eternal crappiness is made even more remarkable by the fact that he’s a pedestrian coach who can’t win even though he’s a dirty cheat. Sampson bolted OU with the program under investigation for alleged offenses that occurred under his watch. That Oklahoma can’t even have success while cheating says more about Sampson than any criticism I can come up with. I mean, say what you want about Jim Calhoun, but at least the man gets results from his blatant disregard for the rules.
Why would IU hire a coach whose ceiling is waist-high? Did they really want to distance themselves from Bobby Knight that much? It’s almost like this was an F-U to the legions who still expect The General to walk through the doors. "You want to force out Mike Davis? Well here's Mike Davis in 15 years!"
I also can’t help but think that the Sampson hiring came, at least in part, because of fear of the backlash that would come from hiring a white coach after canning a black coach who did a decent job (a la Notre Dame football). Of course, just because Scoop Jackson gets upset about the Irish’s Willingham-fiasco doesn’t mean everybody agrees with him. Scoop thinks black holes demonstrate how racist the astronomy community is.
But if that was the case, surely there were better black coaches who have never played under, coached for, or heard of Bobby Knight.
ESPN.com’s Jason Whitlock wrote a nonsensical column about why the Sampson hiring was great for Indiana. Almost every paragraph contained a “you get paid to write?!” moment. Some examples:

Whitlock: Sampson is as good as it gets. The winningest coach in the history of the Big 12 conference won 20 games nine straight years, advanced to the Elite Eight twice and one Final Four despite coaching just one NBA player.
Chase: The Big 12 began in 1995, doofus. Sampson is the winningest coach because he’s the only coach in the league who’s been there that long. Roy Williams left two years ago, Rick Barnes got there seven years ago, Eddie Sutton is a drunk and Baylor’s coach took part in a murder cover-up. If that’s the best compliment you can give Sampson, that’s a problem.
As for the making a Final Four: So did Mike Davis! And he actually won a game, unlike Sampson. The “coaching just one NBA player” thing is just as ridiculous. Coach K has coached zero NBA players and has three national titles!

Whitlock: Under Sampson, the Sooners always overachieved in conference play by giving a superior, more consistent effort than their opponents. OU's NCAA flameouts were somewhat predictable. Sampson never really had the horses, and his teams were generally worn out in March because they'd played harder for longer than just about every team in the country.
Chase: Maybe the Sooners wouldn’t be so tired if Sampson would give his players some rest. And who says they overachieved in conference play? Oklahoma only has one Big 12 regular season win and zero Tournament titles. If that’s overachieving I (and Indiana) shudder to think of what regular, old achieving will be like.
I love the “OU’s NCAA flameouts were somewhat predictable,” line too. Of course they were. Their coach is Kelvin Freakin’ Sampson!

Whitlock: Give Sampson a lottery pick -- let alone the all-star squad Williams had at UNC -- and he'll have no trouble winning in March.
Chase: Give him a lottery pick? What, this is a charity Whitlock is running? And what about Hollis Price and Kevin Bookout? Those guys were great JUCO and high-school players, respectively. Forget that Sampson probably committed major violations to get these players, but at least he got 'em! Sampson also had a McDonald’s All-American signed up for this year. (Maybe he got all those phone calls.) Sampson couldn’t win the WNBA title if he had the Spurs and LeBron. Giving him Marvin Williams would just have cost Marvin Williams a few million on draft night.

Whitlock: Translation: Kelvin Sampson is best appreciated up close. You can't fully appreciate him from a distance.
Chase: So he’s sort of like Van Gogh in that way, I suppose. Well, I’d cut my ear off too if I had to “appreciate” Kelvin Sampson from up close.

Unlike Whitlock, I have some stats at my disposal to prove my point. Below is OU’s Tournament history since Sampson arrived:

2006 - #6 lost 1st round #11 Wisconsin-Milwaukee
2005 - #3 lost 2nd round to #6 Utah
2004 – No Tournament
2003 – #1 lost Elite Eight to #3 Syracuse
2002 – #2 lost Final Four to #5 Indiana
2001 - #4 lost 1st round to #13 Indiana State
2000 - #3 lost 2nd round to #6 Purdue
1999 - #13 lost Elite Eight
1998 - #10 lost 1st round to #7 Indiana in first round
1997 - #11 lost 1st round to #6 Stanford
1996 - #10 lost 1st round to #7 Temple
1995 - #4 lost 1st round to #13 Manhattan

That’s six straight Tournaments where Sampson has lost to lower-seeded teams. Hmm, Whitlock was right. I did need to get closer up before I could fully appreciate Kelvin!
The ’02 Final Four was an aberration (much like Lute Olsen’s National Championship), but can be explained by the easy-road OU took to get there. They beat a #15, #7, #4 and #12 seed to reach Atlanta. Not exactly George Mason-esque.
The following year, OU got to the Elite Eight as a #1 seed, but that road was even smoother, as they had to beat #16, #8 and #12, before losing to the first equally-matched team they saw.
Sampson supporters will point to 1999 when the Sooners made a surprising run to the Elite Eight as a #13 seed. (First thing, it's never good when supporters can point to one of ten seasons, but I digress.) Sampson rippers will say the Sooners underachieved all season (hear that Jason Whitlock?) and should have been a #5 seed in the Tournament if not for a terrible run in conference play. Anytime a major-conference team with a low-seed makes a run in the Tournament (see: Missouri), it’s usually because they finally play up to their abilities in March after a wasteful season.
At the beginning of his ode to Kelvin, Whitlock ran a quote from former Hoosier star Ted Kitchel: "[Hiring Sampson] is an absolute disgrace. I wouldn't hire that guy to coach my fifth-grade girls team. That guy is absolutely what we don't want at IU."
Kitchel was, of course, incorrect. I’d hire Sampson to coach a fifth-grade girls team any day. As long “any day” refers to a day when said fifth-grade girls team was playing a group of blind, wheelchair-ridden nuns. But even then, I’d have to think about it.

On Deck with George Wallace debuts today on Washington Post Radio, 1500 AM in D.C. Listen live worldwide at WashingtonPostRadio.com.

Apparently Dukies DO Know How To Party!

My sister and her newborn baby got to town late last night and, as typing is difficult with a screaming baby and snoring dog in the midst, my planned rip-job of Kelvin Sampson will have to wait until tomorrow. Plus, writing about Sampson would probably have only made more tears flow from my niece, Alexa Demetria who was born March 7 at 9:57 p.m. and weighed in at 5 pounds, 3 ounces. In other words, she's about as small as J.J. Redick's chances at having a productive NBA career. But they're equally feminine.
Speaking of failed Dukies, how 'bout that Blue Devil lacrosse team? It's ironic, a school known for having the worst parties and biggest losers in the country apparently knows how to throw-down a little too well! I jest, but not really.
Seriously though, does this story sound strange to anybody else? I'm not trying to get into a racial battle (which is where this thing is inevitably headed), but, come on... Who gang-rapes a stripper when there's easy and ugly Jersey chicks living down the hall? And how does this information add to the case:

Fifteen of the 47 members of the team have been charged with offenses ranging from underage alcohol possession, violating open container laws, loud noise and public urination, according to the News and Observer.

Hold up here. One-third of college-aged males (and lacrosse players, no less) have had run-ins with the law? I'm shocked, I tell you! Underage alcohol possession??!! It's at times like these that I wish we still used the stockades in this country. And if marijuana is a gateway drug that supposedly leads to starting a meth-lab in your basement then loud noise violations are just the first step on a road to multiple homicides. Fifteen of 47? Seriously? If anything, that number seems low!
I don't know, but this whole things seem fishy. As much as I want to believe a bunch of Duke lacrosse players are two-bit felons, I'm going to go against popular sentiment and stick with the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. If these guys are convicted of the alleged crime, then prison will be too good for them. But I'll hold-up with my derision until then. I mean, this incident happened two weeks ago and there still aren't any charges yet?
Ahhh, now I've spent too much time writing about alleged rapes instead of focusing on my niece who is sleeping on my chest as I type. And by the way, at the exact moment I wrote "J.J. Redick" I'm pretty sure she pooped in her diaper.

Update (Friday, 11:00 a.m.) The Durham Herald-Sun takes a break from planning the execution of the Duke lacrosse team and publishes an article which suggests the rape allegations might be, gasp! totally fabricated! I didn't rip into things as much on Wednesday as I wanted, because I didn't want it to seem like I support violence against women in any capacity. As I wrote then, if the rape allegations are true, prison would be too good for those cretins. However, I've been skepitcal of this whole story since day one and think everybody at Duke and in Durham should be ashamed of themselves for joining a mob to crucify these players before any substantial evidence came to light. The press has already convicted the players and the public has agreed. If these charges turn out to be false, then I hope there are vigils and protests objecting to the stupidity of the previous vigils and protests.

The Tuesday Ten

1) There are a number of reasons George Mason became the first mid-major team in modern Tournament history to make the Final Four, but one stands high above the rest: Jim Larranaga. And for as good a basketball coach is, Larranaga has another quality that makes him even better: He’s one hell of a speaker.
Whenever ESPN put a camera crew in a basketball locker room or a reporter writes an “inside” story about a team, I’m always amazed at how uninspiring most basketball coaches are. Public speaking ability isn’t a prerequisite for coaching, but it’s a huge part of the job. And Larranaga is simply fantastic at it. I’m not surprised his players were so relaxed playing the likes of Michigan State, North Carolina and Connecticut. When you have a coach who plays it as cool as Larranaga and can get you hyped-up with a 60-second soliloquy, it’s probably much easier to go out and beat four of the past seven national champions.
I find myself getting fired up listening to Larranaga or a guy like Bruce Pearl. John Feinstein often has excerpts from Coach K pre-game speeches in his books. They give me goosebumps. But most coaches are bumps of another sort; the ones sitting on a log. It’s like they’re teaching a college economics course. How could anybody want to play for a guy like that? Give me the fire, the brimstone, the coach humming the “Mission Impossible Theme”. You can stuff your Skip Prosser's in a sack.

2) It’s sort of been lost in the hullaballo over George Mason’s victory, but UConn got bailed out by the refs in their win over Washington… Big time.
I was at Friday’s session in D.C. and even without the benefit of replay, it was obvious the officials were handing the game to Connecticut (despite Jim Calhoun’s technical which would suggest otherwise.)
Brandon Roy’s ridiculous technical foul, an absurd over-the-back call on the Huskies, Josh Boone’s fourth foul that was credited to another player, a non-existent kick that was ruled a foul in overtime and the absolutely unbelievable no-call on a clear goaltending play by UConn (also in the extra session) were just a few of the rulings UConn needed to advance to face their eventual doom.

3) Is there an unwritten rule that the NFL’s Thursday night season-opener has to be between two teams, one the defending Super Bowl champions, the other a non-compelling team on the rise, with aboslutely no rivalry whatsoever?
The league announced that this would be the case again in 2006, with Pittsburgh opening up at home against the new-look Dolphins. Last year we were “treated” to the freakin’ Raiders at New England. Part of me (well, all of me) thinks this stems from Bob Kraft’s’ bitchcanery a few years back when he whined like a baby about how it was “unfair” that the Pats had to open their season against a good team like the Colts.
No, Bob. The only thing unfair is that I have to look at your dress shirts that have a different-colored collar. The champs, he argued, shouldn’t have to play their toughest game of the season to open their season. The argument was idiotic on many levels, the least of which being that it was made by a guy wearing, again, a dress shirt with a collar-color differing from the actual color of the rest of the sthiry.
If Kraft wasn’t such a different-collar-colored putz, he’s realize the Pats had it easy; in 1992 the defending champ Redskins had to open the season at Dallas.

4) Speaking of the Redskins, I was amazingly unexcited about their announced season-opener on Monday Night Football. Maybe it was because they didn’t get their much-rumored primetime game on Thanksgiving or maybe it was because I was too excited over the prospect of seeing Eli Manning go 9-28 the night before, but my usual enthusiasm for any Redskins Monday night home game wasn’t there. Perhaps I just don’t like season opening Monday nighters. Having to sit through that first Sunday without a Redskins game will be like watching all your buddies do shots of Patron while you’re sitting to the side sipping on water because you’re on copious amounts of muscle relaxers for your back. (Not that I’m still bitter about something that happened two weeks ago.) Or maybe it was the fact that they’re playing the damn VIKINGS. Who scheduled this game, the ghost of Bud Carson? The Vikings were terrible last year! And this year they aren't going to be any better. The fact that ESPN hyped this game by saying “the Super Bowl contending Redskins will face the Vikings and star free agent Steve Hutchinson,” I knew we were in trouble. Well, at least Kornheiser won’t have too far to travel.

5) One more possible reason for my lack of enthusiasm: The double-header. Is it also a rule that the Redskins can’t play on Monday night unless there’s another game to steal their thunder? Remember, last year the classic ‘Skins-‘Boys game was played concurrently with Paul Tagliabue’s “I love New York - Oh, and I guess New Orleans is OK too - Bowl”

6) When the Patriots lose a game this year because their new kicker misses a game-winner, the media at Bill Belichick’s post-game press conference should just sit there and stare at the coach until he breaks down and admits what an arrogant schmuck he is and how the Pats couldn’t have won three (or any) Super Bowls without their star kicker. Man, that’s going to be a sweet, sweet day.

7) Maybe it’s because Jim Bowden, Bud Selig and Alfonso Soriano have conspired to sabotage that Nationals 2006 season (seriously, how is there still no owner), but I can’t remember ever being less excited (or less aware) of a baseball opening day as I am right now. It’s only six days away!

8) Hmm, lack of excitement about a Redskins’ Monday night game and baseball’s opening day. Maybe my aforementioned back medication is relaxing more than my muscles. Seeing as how I have no actual muscles anyway, this is a distinct possibility.

9) It’s pretty funny, just yesterday I was commenting to a friend about how I wondered about the state of Peter King’s bowel movements. That man’s timing is impeccable, I say.

10) Congratulations to my cousin George Wallace, whose first, and as-of-yet untitled, radio show will debut this Friday at 1:00 p.m. on the new Washington Post radio station, 1500 AM in the nation's capital. John Feinstein will be George’s first guest. But I have to warn him: George, if you mention the Maryland women’s basketball team making the Final Four at any point during the show, you will have one less listener. This is no idle threat.

Regional Thoughts

George Mason (East)
Yes, Virginia, this the greatest upset in NCAA basketball history. Michael Wilbon (and many others) are putting the Chaminade over UVA game ahead of Mason's win and, while that used to be the benchmark and is still the most unexpected result ever, George Mason over UConn is greater for a whole number of reasons.
First, consider the stakes involved in both games: UVA lost to Chaminade on a November afternoon following a plane trip through five time zones. They had absolutely nothing to play for and probably didn't even have any tape on their NAIA opponent. There was no reason for UVA to expect any sort of close contest and by the time they realized they were going to get one, it was probably already too late. In addition, Virginia (from all accounts) played absolutely terrible against Chaminade, as you would expect.
Mason, on the other hand, beat the overwhelming favorites to win the National Championship in a Regional Final. They beat a #1 seed who played very well (few turnovers and great field-goal percentage). Plus, they did it with a shot clock, which makes it much more difficult to sit on a lead, which is what Chaminade, Villanova and N.C. State were able to do in their huge upset wins. (When the shot clock was first instituted in 1985, many thought huge upsets would become a thing of the past. Eight years later when the shot clock time was reduced from 45 seconds to 35 seconds, the same sentiment was expressed.)
Some will say, "yeah, but Mason had a homecourt advantage." That's true, but unless yesterday's game had taken place in New England, Mason would have had the backing of the fans no matter where the contest took place. Everybody loves an underdog. And the fans didn't go 5-6 in overtime and drop in left-hooks.
Villanova's upset was amazing, but few remember the Wildcats' played Georgetown tough in their two meetings during the regular season. The Hoyas won both, but each were hard-fought contests and one went to overtime. Not to take anything away from the enormity of that win, but how huge an upset can it really be if an earlier game between the same teams went to overtime?
More on Mason tomorrow.

Florida (Midwest)
Smithers, I'm beginning to think that Villanova was not the brilliant tacticians I thought they were. The last time they played a game worthy of a #1 seed was on February 19, when they came from behind to beat Georgetown at the MCI Center. Since then, the Wildcats have been a poor-shooting, uninspired, one-man bunch. Yesterday it caught up with them.
(It behooves us to remember, though, that if 'Nova had a healthy Curtis Sumpter this season, they'd almost definitely be in the Final Four right now.)

LSU (South)
UCLA (West)
The Tigers have to be the favorites to win the whole thing, right? I can't imagine them having any trouble with a UCLA squad that has all the makings of that Final Four team you won't be able to remember in six weeks. (At some point next season you're guaranteed to have one of those "huh? Ohhhh... riiiiiight" moments when you hear about UCLA's Final Four.)

These Patriots Don't Need No Tuck Rule!

For the past 20 years, two teams have played the role of the NCAA Tournament's ultimate Cinderellas. N.C. State's amazing win over Houston's Phi Slamma Jamma in 1983 and Villanova's "perfect game" against Georgetown two years later were the benchmarks for Tournament unpredictability. Until today.
The achievement's of those teams are still great, but now, and forever, they take a backseat to the four-game run of the 2006 George Mason Patriots. I try not to play instant historian, but sometimes it's unavoidable: This is the greatest upset in NCAA Tournament history. And, given the stakes, it might be the greatest upset in college basketball history. (If not, it's a close second behind Chaminade's upset of Ralph Sampson's UVA team in 1982.)
Just 14 days ago, the CAA's second-place team was on the Tournament bubble and had to wait until the final pod was announced before they heard their name called. Today, George Mason capped the most remarkable run in NCAA history, beating the overwhelming favorite to win the National title (UConn), after vanquishing two former champs last week.
In all, George Mason knocked off teams that had won four of the past seven national championships, fairly impressive for a school that dropped two games to Hofstra this month. Now, with their bandwagon overflowing, George Mason heads to Indianapolis to face a Florida team that can't want any part of the greatest story to hit college basketball in a generation.
Florida will be the favorite, of course, (just as MSU, UNC and UConn were), but nothing that Mason does from now on will come as a surprise. With no number one seeds in the Final Four for the first time since 1980, Mason has a realistic chance of pulling off the greatest shocker of all: Winning the national title. They have a better shot than you think.
But no matter what happens, there will be an unexpected champion this year. UCLA, LSU, Florida and Mason make up the most unlikely Final Four in history and the fact that one of those teams will be cutting down the nets eight days from now is mind-boggling. (Remember though, this site has been talking-up the possibility of an unlikely champ since February:

Today it seems like there’s only three teams that have a realistic shot of winning the National Championship: Duke, Villanova and Connecticut. Memphis hasn’t played a good team since December, Gonzaga always flames out and can’t rely on Morrison so heavily, championship teams don’t get blown out like Texas does and everyone else is just too damn streaky.
In recent memory only the 2003 Tournament was like this year is shaping up to be. Going into that Dance, everyone had either Kentucky or Arizona winning and everybody else was an afterthought. Of course, neither of those teams made the Final Four and Syracuse ended up winning on the strength of Carmelo Anthony. The moral of the story: The fewer great teams in an NCAA Tournament puts a whole bunch of teams in the mix. Conversely, if there are six or seven teams everyone is talking about, then the winner usually comes from those six or seven teams. I'm still going to pick Villanova, but don't be surprised if a team comes from out of the blue to win the whole thing.
- February 24, 2006

Of course, if you read everything I wrote that day, you'd also find me ripping Florida and praising Kansas.)
Anyway, I'm still in shock that George Mason is in the Final Four. Words can't express how unbelievable this is. Think about it... Duke, Connecticut, Villanova, Texas, Michigan State, Kansas, Syracuse and dozens of other perennial college basketball powerhouses will be sitting at home watching the Final Four on television while George Mason, a school nobody outside the D.C. area knew of 14 days ago, will be playing on the sport's biggest stage. It's simply remarkable.
I'll have more on this tomorrow but, for now, I'll end with this: No matter what happens next weekend, Mason's run to the Final Four is the greatest team performance in modern Tournament history. Right after Wake Forest's ten-point half in 2001 against Butler, of course.

Oh, What A Night!

Between Duke's loss (due to an 3-18 shooting performance by J.J. Redick in the final game of his championship-less career), West Virginia falling on a tremendous, no-doubt-about-it buzzer beater by Texas, UCLA’s furious 11-point end-of-game run that stunned Gonzaga and both Redick and Morrison spending their final collegiate moments crying like pansies on the court, it was pretty much a perfect night of basketball.
Some thoughts from each of the three contests:

LSU 62 – Duke 54
* One week ago, Iona put up 64 points on LSU. A week before that, Vanderbilt notched 73 in a loss to the Tigers. Duke, the #1 overall seed in the Tournament; Duke, with National Player of the Year and "greatest jump-shooter ever" in J.J. Redick; Duke, with the so-called Landlord dominating the paint; Duke, with six McDonald’s All-Americans on their rosters; Duke, with (allegedly) a possible top-five pick in their froncourt; Duke, with the (for real) best coach in college basketball history; and Duke, with all their prestige, media-love and loser fans, couldn’t even crack 55 points in a Sweet 16 game in the NCAA Tournament against those very same Tigers. It defies belief.
While we’re on beliefs, let me debunk a popular one: LSU didn’t play the perfect game to beat Duke. In fact, it was far from it. This was no Villanova over Georgetown situation.
Over a stretch of 8:02 in the middle of the second half, the Tigers scored three points and saw a six-point lead turn into a five-point deficit. They were missing open shots, dropping assignments on defense and looked totally lost. But Duke couldn't fully capitalize.
At various points during Duke’s run, J.J. Redick had wide-open looks and bricked them in every way possible (long, short, off Shelden William’s gargantuan head).
The sequence of the game came with 8:47 left, with Duke leading 45-40. After a DeMarcus Nelson missed free throw, Josh McRoberts came down with the rebound and kicked it to J.J. Redick, who had no defender within four feet of him. His entire career, Redick has made back-breaking shots exactly like that and, even with a poor shooting day thus far, it seemed this one would be no different. Except the shot was short and caromed into Magnum Rolle’s hands. On the subsequent possession, Darrel Mitchell nailed a three, ending LSU’s drought and cutting the Duke lead, which could have been eight just seconds before, down to a manageable two.

* Why did Duke stop going to Shelden Williams inside during the second half? I thought I was watching a Wake Forest game. How did that happen? Williams was dominating the interior and Davis and Thomas were in major foul trouble. (At halftime I asked the Wolfman when he thought Davis and Thomas would pick up their third fouls. He said before the under 12 timeout, I said before the under 16. We were both right, but oh so wrong. It took just 109 seconds for LSU’s frontcourt to get their third fouls in the second half. And this was a Duke game that, for all intents and purposes, was actually called fairly evenly.)
Anyway, I still don’t understand why they stopped going to Williams. My college buddy Obaza placed the blame on one rat-faced individual:

It blows me away that Coach K REFUSES to alter his gameplan during a game. He gets outcoached quite frequently in the NCAA tournament and last night is a great example. Shelden Williams should have touched the ball every time down the court. He was the only one generating any consistency for them on offense. Even if he wasn't scoring they double teamed him and it opened up three pointers (not like they were making any). Coaching is about putting your players in a position to succeed and Coach K did not do that last night.

Ouch. And that’s from a Duke fan. (Yes, he went to Wake Forest, but that’s a whole other can of worms.)

* In the comments section from last night’s euphoria-induced post, Craig made an interesting point. He thinks the ACC officials that give Duke all the calls during the regular season are actually doing the Blue Devils an injustice (as well as the team the refs are screwing over).
The theory is this: By calling every game in favor of Duke, the Blue Devils get an overinflated sense of their ability. They also can’t adapt when a game is called normally. It’s like the old counterintuitive tale of the coddled high school student whom everybody helped out along the way and when he finally gets to college he realizes he’s not as smart as everybody told him he was. Or the tale of a coddled college student getting inflated grades and going out into the real world and realizing that not everybody kisses your ass like in Durham. (Wait… Too specific?)
You can use Shelden Williams last night as an example. Unless he’s just a really good actor, Williams looked like he was really shocked when officials whistled him for his fourth foul. (On the play, Williams ranged over and threw his body into a driving shooter.) In the ACC, the officials never called that because it would earn a 45-second staredown from Mike Krzyzewski and maybe a hit-order from the Polish mafia. But in the NCAA’s, they correctly called the infraction and Williams was stunned. Defensively, he was never the same, playing too cautious, even for a guy with four fouls.

* Greg Paulus: Man, he ain’t too good.

* Once again; Duke has been a #1 seed in eight of the last nine NCAA Tournaments. They’ve lost before the Final Four six of those eight times, including in the Sweet 16 the past two years. Paging Bob Huggins. Paging Bob Huggins. What’s next, Coach K recruiting at Sing-Sing and forgetting his ABC’s during routine drives? (And I don’t care how much your basketball team sucks. How can any university with any academic or social conscience hire Bob Huggins. If I thought Kansas State actually existed (think about it: Have you ever met anybody who went there?) I’d be appalled.)

Texas 74 – West Virginia 71
Seven Reasons I Loved This Game
1) West Virginia beat Wake Forest last year in the NCAA Tournament. This was an indirect way of payback, but, boy was it sweet. (You want to know how indirect: Rick Barnes coached under Gary Williams, who coached under Tom Davis, who once coached with Bones McKinney, who coached Wake Forest. Plus, somewhere along the line, I'm pretty sure one of them dated Kevin Bacon.)
2) There were no timeouts taken in the game’s final, furious seconds.
3) Kevin Pittsnogle’s Scotty Thurman-esque three. I don’t know about anybody else, but I thought that thing was about six inches short when it left his hands. Instead, it was a thing of beauty. Much like that yellow basketball tattoo on his arm.
4) The fact that there was no doubt Kenton Paulino’s three was going to fall. Unlike the Pittsnogle shot, which was easy to misjudge, Paulino’s was true the second it left his hand.
5) Sad hillbillies are my reverse-Kryptonite.
6) Texas’ win gives me a glimmer of hope in my pool (although if your enjoyment of last night’s games were ruined by your pool, you might have a gambling problem. Send me $50 and we can talk about it.)
7) Seriously, if you aren’t a Wake fan, I don’t think you could understand just how much I hate those WVU hillbillies.

UCLA 73 – Gonzaga 71
* You know a game sequence is amazing when you can’t remember exactly how it happened immediately after it happened. Until CBS showed the replay of UCLA knocking the ball out of J.P. Batista’s hands (on what would be the Bruins’ go-ahead possession), I didn’t know if Batista had thrown it away, dribbled off his foot or had the ball taken, knocked, or jostled from his hands. All I could remember was that Jordan Farmar ended up with the ball and dished it to a guy whose name I can’t spell (Luc Richard Mbah a Moute) who then made an awesome play (more on that in a second). Then Gonzaga inbounded again, had it stolen (again) and had to foul UCLA in order to have a chance at a nice-look buzzer beater.
It wasn’t until after the game that CBS was able to show the full replay and I saw Farmar (I think) just knock the ball clean out of Batista’s hands. (My buddy Horo made a point of praising the officials for not calling a foul on that, as there was some contact on an otherwise-clean steal. For as crappy as the officiating had been all night (the waved-off basket in particular), they did deserve credit for that.)
What an unbelievable finish to the game. Almost as unbelievable as Adam Morrison beginning to cry when the game was still in doubt! When Redick cried, the game was still going on, but the result wasn’t in question. Morrison began crying (and what self-respecting Rage Against the Machine fan cries anyway?) with 2.6 seconds left on the clock with his team down by only one! Hmm... Giving up late in big games. Maybe he'll get drafted by the Eagles.

* The catch-and-shoot by long-name-man was fantastic. Many players would have fumbled the pass, or tried to put the ball up immediately. But long-name-man caught the ball, stopped, hesitated, and shot, an amazing show of patience in a game that frantic.

* Did anybody else think the Arron Affalo should have missed the second free throw at the end of the game? By making it, he gave Gonzaga a chance to inbound and, thus, get a good look at a potential game-tying (or game-winning) shot. If he had missed, it would have been nearly impossible for the Zags to get off a reasonable attempt.

* If J.P. Batista’s final shot had fallen, I thought there was a very good chance Gus Johnson would spontaneously combust. I recorded the end of the game (after the fact) just so I could listen to Johnson’s call of the craziness of the last few seconds. Let me transcribe: “AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH -UCLA STEAL – AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH - GONZAGA LOSES THE BALL AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH – UNBELIEVABLE - AAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHH”
Meanwhile, Len Elmore was absolutely ripping the officials during the game and, at the end, even got a little excited himself. Elmore was the color guy during the Laettner shot and barely said peep that night. Yesterday he was going crazy. I’m just glad Gus Johnson didn’t eat him in all the excitement.

Tonight’s Picks

East Regional Semi-Finals
#1 Connecticut over #5 Washington
Whereas some teams (Bradley) spent all their energy just getting to the Sweet 16, UConn seemed to expend as little as possible. Tonight, I think they turn it on.

#7 Wichita State over #11 George Mason
Mason gets about 3,500 people per game at the Patriot Center. Tonight they’ll be playing in front of 20,000, a majority of whom will be rooting for them. All week they’ve been the toast of nation’s capital (even more than Georgetown), have had ESPN cameras following them (which I never like. Look what it did for Tennessee) and have done interviews with every publication known to man. I think it will catch up with them tonight.
Both Mason and Wichita State are thrilled to be in the Sweet 16, so the “we’re just happy to be here” argument can’t really be used when comparing them. But this is the equivalent of a National title game for Mason. Playing an evenly-matched team in front of a home crowd for the chance to play in front of them again on Sunday with a Final Four berth on the line is about as pressure-packed a situation as there is out there.
I’m pulling for Mason, but think the Shockers will advance.

Midwest Regional Semi-Finals
#1 Villanova over #4 Boston College
The first time I hear “Boston College is the only ACC team left in the Tournament” I’m going to throw a hissy-fit the likes of which ye have only heard in tale.

#7 Georgetown over #3 Florida
Expect CBS President Les Moonves to be in the ears of the officials if there is the possibility of a Villanova-Georgetown Elite Eight match-up.

At Least J.J. Redick Went Out On A High Note

For the eighth time in nine years, Duke will not win the National Championship, despite being a #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that make the Blue Devils a bit, gasp, overrated??!!
If not for the refs handing the Dukies their National Semifinal game against Maryland in 2001, the Blue Devils would have exactly zero national titles since 1992. Even with that gift, Coach K has zero wins in the Final Four since that 2001 title, one less than Mike Davis, who just quit at Indiana.
But, hey. At least the Dukies went down fighting tonight. 54 points. 3-18 shooting from J.J. Redick. 19 fouls for Shelden Williams. What a stellar effort. They really gave it their all. Of course, according to Jay Bilas, Duke played flawless basketball all night. Listening to him, one would have thought the '72 Dolphins were on the court. At one point Big Baby blocked a Redick layup and Bilas said something along the lines of, "within the next five years J.J. will cure cancer." How could CBS assign that homer to a Duke game? Did ESPN Deportes hire Castro for the WBC finals?
Anyway, it's so nice to know that 35 years from now, J.J. Redick will be able to look back on his last college game and know he went out like the loser he is. Three-for-eighteen. Man, there's gonna be a whole lot of terrible poetry emanating from that performance.
Of course, it's not like this comes as much of a surprise to Redick. The never-championship-winning guard has always choked in big games for Duke and tonight was no different. Some have claimed Redick is the best Duke player of all-time, which is a tough sell considering he has one less Final Four win than Greg Newton.
In Redick's four Tournament losses he went (oh, this is great): 13 for 60 from the field, for 44 points. Averaged out, that's 11 points per game on 22% shooting. That makes A. Rod look like Mr. October. The question has to be asked: Has there ever been a less-clutch "great" player in college basketball history?
Oh, I'm way too happy to delve into that tonight, so I'm just going to crack another beer, toast to Redick's tears of unfathomable sadness and wish Cartman were there to lick them off his bitch-ass face. Enjoy the D-League, punk. Say hi to Chris Carrawell for me. And tell McRoberts it doesn't matter when he goes pro, he'll never be anything but a poor man's Mike Dunleavy, which is sort of like being a poor man's homeless guy. But I guess collecting paychecks while sitting on the bench in Atlanta is better than getting a beatdown twice a year from Tyler Hansbrough.
As for all you Duke fans out there, I hope you appreciated the championship-less run you've witnessed over the past five years. Because with Paulus running the show next year, you won't even have the chance to get your heart broken in the Sweet 16 like usual.

South and West Regional-Semifinal Preview

#1 Duke vs. #4 LSU
I've written about this game all week, but let me sum it up for you: Glen "Big Baby" Davis is a question mark to me. Not because he, himself, is a question mark, but because I haven't really seen him all that much. What I have seen hasn't been all that impressive though. He is four steps slow defensively and, beyond dunking, every shot is an adventure.
His match-up with Shelden Williams tonight will be ridiculously hyped, but, much like The Slumlord/Pops battle last week, this one isn't really a fair fight. Pops was injured and Davis doesn't play defense.
When Shelden and his small-ass ears go for 23 and 13 tonight, the Davis in the studio (Seth) will proclaim Shelden the best center since Alcindor, without mentioning that anytime he plays a tall, athletic center, Shelden curls up into the fetal position and starts sucking on J.J. Redick's thumb.
Of course, every analyst will also completely ignore the numbers Davis and the fantastic Tyrus Thomas will put up. And that's what's just so fascinating to me: Everybody loves mentioning how great Shelden Williams is defensively, even as opponents are putting up huge numbers on him. Watch tonight: Even if Williams gets the best of LSU's frontcourt on the offensive end, Thomas, Davis and Tasmin Mitchell will get theirs. This will be praised, but nobody will stop and think about how they were able to get so many points. Man, it just makes me so mad.
My perception of LSU (and all SEC teams, pretty much) is that they aren't very physical. Even for a 309-pound behemoth, Davis plays more of the gentle giant role (again, from what I've seen). This could be a problem against a Duke team that: a) will get all the calls and b) is used to throwing down a little in the paint. And, this is why I'm almost rooting for Duke tonight (I said almost). Texas is the most physical team left in the Tournament and Buckman, Alrdidge and company will be throwin 'bows and hip-checking all over the place in a probable Saturday match-up.)
I'll wrap this one up with this thought: A lot of people are picking LSU tonight, which is fine. My feelings about Duke are well-known and I think they are absolutely beatable. However, when was the last time the Blue Devils were upset in the Tournament by a team everybody thought they'd lose to? Last year they dropped a surprising game to Michigan State. In 2002 Indiana pulled the stunner. And in 2000 Florida pulled the upset. Some people might have picked those teams, but Duke was the overwhelming favorite in each of those games vs. lower-seeded teams. (In the other years, Duke lost a better team - UConn in 2004 and Kansas in 2003.) My point? Mike Krzyzewski is the best college basketball coach in history for a reason. With LSU the trendy upset pick, I can't see the Blue Devils going out tonight. That will have to wait until Saturday.
Pick: Duke

#1 Memphis vs. #13 Bradley
Hmmm... I guess I can't stick with my original pick of Kansas in this game.
When most Cinderella teams make the Sweet 16, they go back to campus to a hero's welcome and bask in the glory of their two wins on the Tournament's first weekend. And that's great because usually, the goal of a low-seeded team is to make the Sweet 16. Once that happens, the fire kind of goes out. Sure, they want to play hard and make an unprecedented run to the Final Four, but as Syracuse, Kansas and Iowa showed last week, it's very tough to get up for a new set of games after accomplishing one of your main goals. Bradley's season could end tomorrow and be complete. They upset two major-conference teams (including one with the most storied history in the game) and advanced to the Sweet 16 (and got a Sports Illustrated cover in the process, even if it as a watered-down version of it). But I still think they have a chance against Memphis because the Tigers have accomplished something too. They got a #1 seed out of a weak conference and made everybody who picked Oral Roberts or Bucknell/Arkansas look like idiots. Their stated goal might be the Final Four, but one can't help but think they're feeling a little pleased with themselves right now. And this is why picking this game is more difficult that I had anticipated.
Pick: Bradley

#2 Texas vs. #6 West Virginia
Kevin Pittnogle's stats in WVU's seven biggest games this season: 10.2 ppg, 4 rpg
Kevin Pittnogle's stats in WVU's other 25 games this season: 21.8 ppg, 6.2 rpg
The only thing consistent about Kevin Pittsnogle are his hideous tattoos, which is why Texas will win a tough one tonight. (While looking up some info about Pittnogle's tattoos I found this gem of a paragraph from an article about him in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

Turner explained his friend's path of body art: The "Gift from God" ink on the big guy's upper right arm is a tribute to his parents and the Lord blessing him with a shooting touch. Along with that came, on the inside of the left arm, a tribal tattoo with a band. Next arrived the flaming basketball on the left shoulder, the dragon on the lower right arm, the mother, father, sister and lost child tribute on his right leg and the Jesus replica on the left leg. That was followed by the left elbow and forearm ink for his family and, finally, the right arm adornment for baby Kwynsie.

Oh, where to begin. 1) I suppose the Lord can giveth a shooting touch and taketh away one too, looking at those stat discrepancies.
2) He has a tattoo of a flaming basketball? Interesting, I would have thought that'd be J.J. Redick's thing.
3) A dragon? Really? Does he have a unicorn on his left arm?
4) I'm glad the author of this article clarified that it's a Jesus replica on Pittsnogle's left leg. Because, for a second there, I thought maybe he actually had Jesus tattooed there.
5) Kwynsie? Come on now. That sounds like an eradicated disease, not a child.
One more thing, in an article about Pittsnogle in the same newspaper last year, the lead was, "Kevin Pittsnogle grew up in a trailer park in Martinsburg, W.Va." That explains Kwynsie, I guess.
Pick: Texas

#2 UCLA vs. #3 Gonzaga
Does anybody else think Jordan Farmar (below left) looks like Scarface from Half Baked? Except that instead of a lovable pothead, Farmar is a guy I'd like to punch, but don't really know why.
Maybe instead of a basketball tonight, Adam Morrison can headbutt Farmar's face instead and save us the trouble of watching both of those punks try to put themselves ahead of the team.
Anyway, UCLA might be the higher seed but all the pressure is on Gonzaga. The Bulldogs have had weak Tournament showings since they burst onto the scene with an Elite Eight appearance in 1999 and with Morrison almost certain to depart after this season, this might be their best chance to make a Final Four (and prove the doubters wrong) in the near future. (Is it just me, or does anybody else often forget Morrison is a junior. His basketball head-pounding is just so reminiscent of somebody who has four years of college under their belt.)
I'm not really a fan of either of these teams (or anybody in this bracket, really) but I think Gonzaga's poor defense catches up with them tonight as UCLA marches on to the Regional Final.
Pick: UCLA

Tomorrow: East/Midwest Picks & South/West review

Chris Answers PTI's Questions

Can a darkhorse win it all?
First of all, what’s a darkhorse? It sounds kind of racist. Surely none of the #2 seeds could be considered a darkhorse, especially not Texas, which entered the season as the #2 team in the country. UCLA flew under the radar most of the year, but they were the chic pick coming out of the West, so they wouldn’t be a surprise either. I guess the only real #2 shocks would be if Tennessee and Ohio State pulled off Lazarus-like comebacks and took the NCAA title, but I’m pretty sure Lazarus’ eligibility ran out in 1996.
We can also cross the following teams off the darkhorse list: West Virginia (top 10 much of the year), Gonzaga (top 10 all of the year), Florida (SEC champ and hit #2 in the AP) and Boston College (trendy pre-Tournament pick).
That leaves: LSU, Georgetown, Wichita State, George Mason and Bradley. Can any of these teams win the whole thing? Sure. Will they? Probably not. But if they do, the order they’re in above is the order of probability.
Georgetown is a better team than LSU, but the Hoyas would have a tougher road to the title (Florida, Villanova/BC and UConn (likely). If LSU can handle Duke, they’d play a difficult Texas or West Virginia team in the Elite Eight and then have an easier Final Four match-up.
Wichita State is ranked ahead of George Mason because I think the Shockers will disappoint the crowd at the MCI Center Friday night and pull the “upset” (more on that tomorrow), while Bradley’s run will almost definitely come to an end before Indianapolis.

What should the Nats do about Soriano?
Between college basketball and the Redskins free agent orgy, I’ve been quiet on the Soriano situation. But that’s really just an excuse, because I get so damn frustrated just thinking about it.
Before I begin, let’s get the obvious out of the way: Jim Bowden f***** up. There’s no other way to put it. When he called the Rangers before he pulled the trigger on this trade and asked to speak with Soriano about the move to left field and was rebuffed by the organization, that should have sent up a flag so red that Lenin would pop out of his tomb to salute if he ever saw it. But Jim Bowden has never been about making rational baseball moves (see: Guzman, Cristian). Bowden’s an idiot, but the move is made, so we have to move on. (I see no reason we can’t kick Bowden as we are moving on, though. Also, let’s completely ignore the fact that Soriano is one of the worst defensive second baseman in baseball. I don’t have enough energy to cross that bridge today.)
I found it very interesting yesterday that both Wilbon and Buster Olney said something along the lines of, “Soriano called the Nats bluff” by not going out into the outfield on Monday. Because I totally thought it was the other way around.
Alfonso Soriano has absolutely no leverage in this situation. If he doesn’t play left, he doesn’t play. And if he doesn’t play, he doesn’t get paid. And if he doesn’t get paid, he doesn’t become a free agent in 2007, which makes the whole “I want to increase my market value by playing second” totally meaningless. Soriano has a market value of zero if he’s not playing. He needs to play. By not playing on Monday he simply lost face in the baseball community. He didn’t call any bluff. The Nats called his bluff. They essentially said, “you don’t want to play left, Alfonso? Fine. Sit on the bench for the year, lose out on $10 million and free agency to make your point.”
Make no mistake, the Nats won’t cave on this issue. They’ve drawn the line in the dirt (to steal a phrase from Thomas Boswell). They called his bluff. And today (or later this week) he’ll blink. I don’t know who Soriano has in his ear, but anybody with sense has to be telling him that playing left field with the ability to move to second will impress teams much more than sulking like a child and still sucking at second.

Is a Terrell Owens book a good idea?
Nothing with Terrell Owens is a good idea. Especially not using a new book deal as an excuse to talk about him during PTI. (By the way, how bad is it going to be in August when Owens’ day at Cowboys training camp is the lead story every single day on the 6:00 Sportscenter. I think Pedro Gomez might have a new best friend.)
Forgetting about the book forever, I’m still in shock that everybody says signing Owens is a great move for Dallas (Peter King is driving this bandwagon.) I’ll agree that Owens will likely be good for a year and get his 100 catches and 15 TD, but since when can any contract be judged on what happens during a four-month window?
Philly got to a Super Bowl because of Owens, but that didn’t change what happened last year. If he leads the Cowboys to the NFC Championship game this year but then strangles Jerry Jones next year, was his time in Dallas a success? I think Peter King would argue yes, since he makes the ridiculous statement that what happens down the road doesn't matter.
The only way the Owens-to-Dallas move becomes great is if the Cowboys win a Super Bowl this season. Because in 2007, the honeymoon will end and T.O. will go back to his old ways. Barring that Super Bowl, this is a not a great move for the Cowboys, or even a good move. Sometime in the near future they’ll have to take an enormous cap-hit by releasing Owens or suffer through a season of him complaining about Drew Bledsoe. (Can we get bets on when Owens first blasts his QB in a Sunday Conversation? I'm saying week 14.)
I’m inclined to say Parcells will be able to handle T.O., but not because the Tuna handled Lawrence Taylor well. Taylor might have been a cokehead womanizer, but he loved winning. Owens loves being good at football, but I’m not so sure he loves winning.

If Keyshawn signs with the Giants, does that shift the balance of power in the NFC East?
If Phil Simms was still playing quarterback in New York, then yes. But last I checked some dude named Elisha with a 52% completion percentage was playing QB. And as long as that’s happening, the only shift happening in the NFC East will be from Joe Gibbs’ NASCAR teams. (Plus, didn’t the Giants win the NFC East last year? I know they didn’t win a playoff game (some NFC East team did, but I can’t remember which) but they still won the division which means a power shift would mean a shift down for them. And with Keyshawn turning 34 during training camp, that might not be too much of a stretch if he does sign. And, way to shore up your secondary, New York. Sam Madison and R.W. Acquirers? (Note: I got too excited hitting "ignore all" while spellchecking this, and that's what came up for R.W. McQuarters. I decided to leave it because it works on many levels. Or maybe just one.) Those wouldn’t have been great signings when those guys were in their primes let alone when they’ll be 32 and 30, respectively, by the end of the season.)

Should the NFL be interested in Condoleeza Rice?
Once, while watching a 3 a.m. rerun of Condi on Oprah, I went on a ten-minute drunken rant about how the NFL needed to hire Condoleeza Rice to succeed Tags should he ever retire. I’m told my debate with myself would have bested Will Ferrell’s in Old School. Sadly I remember none of my points and don’t have a bottle of Patron near me to help jog my memory, so I’ll just say, Condi should stick to politics and the NFL should hire another suit like Paul Tagliabue who is content to rule the league without stealing the spotlight.

Do you have any problem with the Stanford Tree getting ejected during the NCAA Women’s Tournament?
There’s an NCAA Women’s Tournament?

Five Good Minutes
Did Hubert Davis win some sort of Dream Job competition on ESPN? Because he’s pretty terrible. You could see Tony Kornheiser cringing when they introduced him. By my count Davis had 19 “uhs” and used the word “guy” 12 times during his 4:46 on the show. He also praised Greg Oden for going to college (as if he had a choice) and said, “he might be an NBA All-Star and the best player in college” which I’m guessing might be a little difficult, even for a 7-footer with prodigious talent.
Hubert (man, that is a great name though) also said J.J. Redick would have a tough time should Duke ever face Memphis again because Tiger star Rodney Carney held Redick scoreless during their first meeting. Now, maybe Carney himself held Redick scoreless when he was defending him during that early-season match-up. But Redick finished the game with an (admittedly pedestrian) 15 points on 4-9 shooting. Still, Davis can’t throw out a line like “Redick was held scoreless” without providing the context, because it sure as hell seemed like he meant Redick had zero points for the game.
Davis is new, but he does seem like he might get better with experience (as Harold Reynolds did). For now, let’s just say he has “tremendous upsides”. His quote, not mine.

Toss-Up
More likely to get upset in next game: Duke or UConn?
A philosophical question: If, as everyone agrees, Duke has a problem with size, how can Shelden Williams be the defensive player of the year while Josh McRoberts is a top-five NBA prospect? As I see it, there is no answer to this question. Maybe I’ll find those Buddhist monks that slapped around Tony Soprano and see if they know.
Anyway, I suppose Duke is more likely to get upset in the next game because Glen Davis and Tyrus Thomas are supposed to form a pretty good frontcourt for the Tigers. And while I love Thomas’ game, I haven’t been all that impressed by Davis. (Again, the caveat, I haven’t seen him play much and I can’t knock his game without seeing it. But I did watch a lot of that Texas A&M game and barely noticed him. Conversely, it took me about five seconds to notice Patrick O’Bryant on Bradley and anybody unfamiliar with Georgetown would have realized Roy Hibbert was a force from the minute they switched the game on. Plus, why do I have the feeling that Shelden Williams is going to eat up Davis which will cause everybody to say how awesome Williams is? They did it when he tore up an injured Pops Mensah-Bonsu last week.)
A quick look at Big Baby’s stats tell me I’m an idiot and probably caught him on a bad day: He’s had double-doubles in ten of his last 13 games and, somewhat amazingly, has only had four fouls called against him in three of those games, while fouling out zero times. In over half of those games, he’s had two or less fouls called on him despite playing over 30 minutes in each of those contests. Davis’ shooting percentage scares me a little: For a big man, he should be shooting well over 55%, but in those 13 games he’s shooting 49%.

Who is going to have the better season: Terrell Owens or Donovan McNabb?
Is this really a toss-up? How many seasons has McNabb ever had a better season than T.O.? Unless better seasons are defined by choking in big games, because if that were the case, Donners would have him beat. (And I love Wilbon, but his Donovan-love makes me sick. If there were a toss-up asking “Who’s the better human being: Donovan McNabb or Mother Theresa” you know which way Wilbon would swing.)

More overrated: Kevin Garnett and Scottie Pippen?
Back in my freshman year at Wake Forest, The Wolfman and I got into an hour-long debate at the Benson food court with two football players about whether or not Scottie Pippen was overrated. We insisted Pippen was a vital cog in the Bulls Championship teams and Jordan could have never won without him. I seem to remember harping endlessly on this point by yelling, “What did MJ ever win without Scottie??!!” They came back with “What has Scottie ever won without MJ??!!” Touche, meatheads, I remember thinking.
There’s no doubt Scottie Pippen benefited greatly by playing with Jordan and that Jordan wouldn’t have had six championships if he didn’t have Pippen. So the answer was probably somewhere in between. (But, correct me if I’m wrong Wolfman, I think they were making so many ridiculous points that we had to defend Pippen more strongly than I would have cared to.)
Garnett, on the other hand, has won diddly-poo. Maybe he’s a victim of circumstance (the opposite of Pippen) but, of the two, he’s the more overrated.
I’m interested in your thoughts on this question and the following: Would Scottie Pippen have been named one of the NBA’s top 50 players without Michael Jordan?

Better fall: The cat or the bear?
If the cat had died it would have been a better fall because there’d be one less cat in the world right now.

Big Finish
T.O. jersey sales high?
In 16 months those people are going to rue the day they shelled out $69.95 for a jersey they were able to wear for one season.

Hiring Northern Iowa coach good for ISU?
Wait, Larry Eustachy is no longer at Iowa State? When the hell did this happen?!

Dolphins looking at Tommy Maddox for backup role?
Why am I getting the image of Nick Saban tapping on Maddox’s head like a cantaloupe to see if he’s up for the job.

Missouri interested in Bob Huggins?
I can’t think of any better way to clean up a program than by hiring Bob Huggins. Maybe they’ll get lucky and convince Eddie Sutton to come on as an assistant.

Is Steve Hutchinson a good pickup for the Vikings?
Fantasy owners, prepare to be disappointed by Shaun Alexander in 2006.

Dap for Middlebury for winning Division III men’s and women’s hockey championships?
I just hope Chief Wiggum got Snake out of jail so he could see his alma mater win the championships in person.

What will Yao Ming do tonight?
Be tall.

"Chris Answers PTI's Questions" is an occasional feature on this site

More NCAA Tournament Thoughts

* Whenever something different or unexpected happens in sports, analysts proclaim that said development is the beginning of a major shift in that respective game. Years ago, when running quarterbacks were en vogue, most people associated with the NFL said the pocket passer was a thing of the past. When the Oakland A’s won the World Series in 1989 while finishing near the top of the majors in stolen bases, baseball was supposed to turn into a game of speed. More recently, the Pistons’ title was to bring about a fundamental shift to team basketball in the NBA, just like the Patriots’ Super Bowls were to do to the NFL. Anytime a team different sort of team, player or concept has success, people are quick to say massive change is close behind. And, more often than not, the hype fizzles and the status quo returns to a sport. But not this time. The increasing competitiveness of the mid-majors isn’t some sort of basketball-fad, it’s the real thing. They’re here to stay.
Mid-majors advance to the Sweet 16 in most NCAA Tournaments. But they usually do so because they get a favorable high-seed match-up in round one and play another upset-puller in round two. This year, however, George Mason went through half of last year’s Final Four, while Bradley upset the Big 12 champion and Big East runner-up. (Wichita State beat a Seton Hall team that had no business being in the Tournament and the worst #2 seed in history, but that doesn’t mean the Shockers aren’t a good team.) In each of those games, the mid-majors outplayed their big conference brethren. Yes, mistakes were made by those big-time teams (particularly by UNC who couldn’t hold onto the ball early in the second half), but those mistakes were forced by their opponents.
George Mason coach Jim Larranaga knew the young Tar Heels would be easily flustered, so he had his defenders aggressively trap to start the second half. Bradley utilized 7-footer Patrick O’Bryant against another colossus, Aaron Gray of Pitt. It was an unfair fight, as evidenced by Gray’s frustration-induced technical early in the second half.
The talent gap is closing in big time college basketball. This doesn’t mean a team like Bradley is going to win the National Championship, but their fellow mid-majors will continue to make their presence felt on the national level. They’ll be invited to more pre-season tournaments, get more press, get better recruits and, one day soon, somebody from the MVC or CAA or Horizon will make a Final Four. These teams are too good not to.

* Reason #475 why Gus Johnson is my favorite play-by-play man on television and why it is imperative CBS pair him with Bill Raftery for the Regionals: As the clock hit zero in the George Mason/North Carolina game, Gus screamed, “THERE’S A NEW CINDERELLA AND HER NAME IS GEORGE!”

* Do you want to hear my conspiracy theory? No? Too bad: You know that unbelievably annoying Applebee’s commercial, where those two doofuses sing the Gilligan’s Island theme song except instead of a tune about Robinson Crusoe-like passengers on a fateful trip they changed the words to detail all the great deals Applebee’s has on wood-grilled pineapple chicken and their rip-off of Outback’s bloomin’ onion?
Now, while Applebee’s might have had a part in the production of the commercial and certainly paid a nominal fee to get it to air, I think they’re just a partner in the advertisement while a huge shadow corporation really funded the entire campaign. That company: Sony.
Hear me out. Besides killing people, what’s the first impulse you have when seeing that damn commercial for the 15th time during the NCAA Tournament? Throwing your remote control at your television set. (I had to move my remote fearing such an occasion.) As Sony is the most popular brand of television in the United States (and maker of the most gorgeous 1080p HDTV on the market), they stand to benefit from such hate-fueled screen-breaking. Think about it.

* I’m an ACC guy, but the prospect of a Villanova/Georgetown Regional Final has me (and CBS execs, presumably) very excited. Too bad those anticipated match-ups never happen (see Pittsburgh/Kansas, just like I predicted last week).

* A lot has been made of Connecticut’s easy runs to the Final Four in each of their two National Championship seasons, but what about Memphis? They could theoretically go through Oral Roberts, Bucknell, Bradley and Gonzaga to reach Indianapolis. But maybe the selection committee would keep them out due to a poor non-conference RPI.

* The only way I could hate UCLA’s Jordan Farmar more is if he were on that Applebee’s commercial.

NCAA Tournament Thoughts

* The center of the college basketball world is not on Tobacco Road or in Lawrence, Kansas or at Pauley Pavilion. This week, the capital of the nation becomes the capital of hoops, with George Mason and Georgetown playing in the Sweet 16 and the East regional coming to town at the MCI (not Verizon) Center.
Georgetown manhandled highly-regarded Ohio State yesterday, behind stellar performances from Jeff Green and Roy Hibbert. (Hibbert could barely run 18 months ago, let alone play basketball. Yesterday he had 20 and 14 against the Big Ten Player of the Year.)
George Mason stunned the college basketball world (and messed up a number of brackets in the process) with their come-from-behind victory over the defending National Champs yesterday in Dayton.
Neither win was a fluke. Georgetown was the better team yesterday and George Mason outplayed, outhustled and outworked a superior, and heavily favored, Tar Heel squad. Sure, UNC and Michigan State didn’t play great basketball against the Patriots, but Jim Larranaga’s squad had a lot to do with that. They forced turnovers, dominated the boards and never quit when they got down 16-2 early.
Now they’re coming home to play Wichita State, in a rematch of their classic Bracket Buster contest from last month. Either way, one of those teams will be one game from the Final Four this weekend. And anybody who thinks that game will be a cakewalk for UConn (or Washington) clearly didn’t watch the Pats or Shockers play this weekend. The mid-majors are for real.

* OMG!!!! Did u c Candace Parker’s dunk n da NCAA Tournament?! It wuz soooo kewl! On da first 1 she got so hi n da air and threw da roc down w/ awesome power! Xcept she barely touched da rim and sort of threw it in, not dunked. But who carez??!! She’z totally da best player ever just becuz Sportscenter sayz so. And y wood they lie?!! Itz not like they hav any interest in da womenz tourney doin well. That wood b a conflict of interest, covering n event u pay $ 4, right? No worriez, Candace Parker is da Gloria Steinem of 2006!

* All season long I’ve heard about Glen “Big Baby” Davis from LSU and how great he is. His pre-tournament hype rivaled J.J. Redick’s, if you can believe that. (Granted, every media outlet had already done so many J.J. stories they’d already exhausted interviews with his 4th grade tee-ball coach, so I guess the hype had to stop sometime.) I had seen LSU play just a few minutes this year and didn’t remember Davis at all.
Saturday, during the LSU/Texas A&M game, I had been watching for about 20 minutes before I remembered Davis was even on the floor, and only realized it when the announcers were discussing how he hadn’t been playing well. How can a guy be so great if his presence on the court is totally unnoticeable? Granted, the announcers said he played a poor game and I’ll buy that. But for me not to notice him at all indicates the “Big Baby”-love might have been a little forced. We’ll see later this week, I suppose.

* You know what this Tournament is missing? Camera shots of the coaches wives. During the UCLA/Alabama game I constantly found myself wondering (particularly late in the game when the tension was high), what Alabama coach Mark Gottfried’s wife was doing at that exact moment? Is she covering her eyes? Twirling her hair? Looking nervous, excited, anxious or kind of bored? But, according to my count, CBS only showed her 13 times in the game’s final three minutes, which was about 87 less times than they should have. Who cares about a game when a mildly-attractive coach’s wife is in the stands with a hair color that can’t be described in the English language (it was sort of blonde, sort of gray and pretty scary. I think the Chinese have a character for it, and I’m pretty sure it was on one of the Tennessee player’s biceps.)
CBS, a reaction shot of members of the coach’s family is fine once or twice during the game. But when you miss free throws because you’re showing the umpteenth shot of Mark Gottfried’s wife, you’ve gone too far. I was actually yelling at the director during that game, which was a nice change from yelling at the refs who dictated that contest with their uneven calls. (More on the Tournament’s crappy officiating tomorrow.)

* My bracket was ruined right about the time that dude from Bradley banked in a three-pointer as the first-half buzzer sounded on Friday night. The Pittsburgh loss yesterday helped me a little, since nobody had Bradley advancing out of that region. While I can’t say I’m particularly proud of my picks, I will give myself a small back-pat for calling the Georgetown and Wichita State upsets, as well as nailing Texas A&M and Wisconsin-Milwaukee in the first round. (Always remember, Kelvin Sampson losing in the first round is sort of like the Spring Equinox: It usually occurs doing a two day-stretch in mid-to-late March.)

* When Gary Williams began his “Bitchapalooza 2006” tour, he told The Washington Post that he didn’t understand why the MVC had such a high RPI this year and how they shouldn’t complain about scheduling because “the phone works both ways.” Afterwards, it was remarked that every single Missouri Valley team should call Maryland and attempt to schedule a home-and-home.
Apparently that’s exactly what’s happening. Reports say that more than half of the MVC schools have contacted Maryland attempting to take Williams up on his offer, and the teams that have yet to do so will make the call soon. The MVC called Gary’s bluff. Whether or not he’ll man up and take a series or two will be one of the more intriguing subplots to the off-season.
And Gary… Shut up already. Nobody feels sorry for your underachieving team. You didn’t deserve to make the Tournament, you tried to get out of the NIT and then, when you couldn’t, you laid an egg in front of 4,000 people at Comcast Center. I’ve always been one of your biggest supporters, but stop whining and get out on the recruiting trail.

* Can somebody explain to me why Rudy Gay is considered the best NBA prospect in college basketball? He’s not even the best prospect on his team (that would be Marcus Williams).
Speaking of Williams, whenever his arrest for computer theft gets mentioned on CBS (and that’s a rare occurrence), the announcers always skip over the fact that Williams’ accomplice, A.J. Price, was kicked off the team while Williams was allowed to stay. Do they leave that out because that piece of information would make Jim Calhoun look the hypocritical, unethical sleezeball he is and CBS doesn’t like to market hypocritical, unethical sleezeballs? He kicked off a lesser player and kept a great player even though they committed the same offense. And nobody talks about this. It’s why I can’t stand UConn and have a dislike for Marcus Williams that’s even more intense than the one I have for J.J. Redick. Redick might be a punk, but he’s not a felon.

Come back tomorrow for more NCAA Tournament thoughts

I, For One, Think The Big East Should Have Gotten More Teams In

Nice job Seton Hall, Marquette and Syracuse. Way to prove major conference supremecy. A special shout-out to The Hall though. How a team has their tournament-worthiness doubted publicly all week long and then lays an egg the size of Shelden Williams' head is beyond me. Cincinnati must have enjoyed watching the Pirates get scurveyed as they prepare for their opening-round NIT contest.
And is it coincidence that Steve Fisher's San Diego State team just lost because of an unbelievable mental gaffe by their point guard? I mean, I've always blamed C-Webb for the timeout, but Fisher does have a knack for being in the vicinity of massive player stupidity.
Some more quick thoughts on the first day of the Tournament: BC got bailed out by the refs and by Pacific's terrible in-bounds plays, Gonzaga is going down sooner rather than later, Tennessee played well yet still needed a near buzzer-beater to best 15th seeded Winthrop and at one point in the first-half of their game, Southern had seven team fouls while Duke had zero. It's good to know some things never change in this Madness they call March.
Come back tomorrow for some more on the Tournament's first day.

NCAA Tournament Picks

The two greatest sports days of the year are here. Thirty-two games filled with upsets, buzzer beaters, bracket busters and blowouts. And with Dick Vitale nowhere to be found.
But you're not here to read meaningless banter, you're here to read meaningless banter intermingled with picks for all 63 games. Onward!

*** South Region (Atlanta) ***

First Round
#1 Duke vs. #16 Southern
My sister had a lovely, healthy baby girl last Tuesday night. I’d be interested to see if the resultant happiness of a Southern victory over Duke would exceed the joy I felt eight days ago when my niece was born. It’d probably be close, but I’m thinking that Alexa’s birth would take the cake. However, I make no such promises if, after the Duke loss, J.J. Redick spends 30 minutes sprawled out on the court bawling uncontrollably.
Pick: Duke

#8 George Washington vs. #9 UNC-Wilmington
In other news, my sister’s eight-day old child was just accepted to George Washington on a basketball scholarship.
Pick: UNC-Wilmington

#5 Syracuse vs. #12 Texas A&M
I’ve been told I remind people of J.J. Redick. Luckily, for these people, I’m not Chuck Norris or they’d be dead via karate chop to the temple by the time they got out the second “J”. Apparently, though, Redick’s attitude on the court reminds some people of me. To which I say, “poppycock”. If I were as good at college basketball as J.J. Redick I’d be hated so much more than him.
Seriously, everybody would despise me because I’d taunt the crowd, go in other teams huddles and use all available media tim