ACC/Big 10 Challenge Re/Preview

Since when did the ACC/Big Ten Challenge turn into the ACC/Big Ten/Poached-Money-Grubbing-Schools-Most-Formerly-of-the-Big-East-Challenge?
Why was Virginia Tech opening up said Challenge on Monday? Who decided Miami should represent the conference last night in Ann Arbor, despite being a part of the ACC for about as long as that pimple on J.J. Redick's back? A nd what percentage of analysts will talk about a shift in the balance of power when the ACC loses their first ever Challenge tonight because of those aforementioned schools, who are 0-2, while the real ACC members are a stellar 3-1?
Sure, the ACC/Big Ten Challenge is a made-for-television event and doesn't mean too much in the grand scheme of things, but the ACC is a perfect 6-0 in the history of the young event and any blemish on that unbeaten mark will be on the hands on the evil John Swofford, who sold the soul of the nation's premiere basketball conference just to get a single football game pitting the choking dog Virginia Tech Hokies against the unranked, reeling Florida State Seminoles.
Nice job, John. You ruined the perfection that was the ACC's home-and-home schedule so Virginia 'Freakin Tech, which belongs in the ACC about as much as Notre Dame fits into the Mountain West, could back into an ACC title after getting thumped on their home field. But hey, it will all be worth it when Miami and Clemson renew their storied basketball rivalry this January.
With the Challenge tied 3-3 and five games on tap for tonight, the ACC, as I mentioned, is in danger of losing their first challenge in seven tries.
Nice victories by Clemson, Florida State and Wake Forest were wiped out by weak performances by the ACC's ugly stepchildren, Virginia Tech and Miami. UNC's loss to Illinois was expected, though the Heels hung around longer than most people anticipated. Wake's win was the best of the night, highlighted by Justin Gray's 37 points. (Why Skip Prosser isn't permanently moving him to the 2 and testing out Harvey Hale before conference play begins is a mystery though.) Turnovers (16) were still a problem for the Deacs, but Gray has cut down on his (he only had three last night). Gray running the point seems to work better, but if Hale can get better acclimated to the role before the big boys come to Winston-Salem, Wake Forest will be much better off come February.
If the ACC loses, it will be beacuse of the losses by VT and UM. The suits at ESPN will make a big deal about the ACC losing, but will likely fail to mention why they did. Just remember; subtract two wins from the Big Ten's total at the end of the challenge. That will be the real final tally.
Tonight's match-ups will be a little better than last night; only the Wake-Wisconsin game was really in doubt before the tip on Tuesday. (UNC/Illinois was the highlighted game of the Challenge, but with UNC returning zero starters, it was more because of the jerseys rather than the teams.) A quick preview and predictions:

Georgia Tech at Michigan State
This one should be the snoozer of the night, unless Michigan State is suffering from a post-Hawaii hangover like Connecticut (the Huskies struggled against lowly Army last night).
Pick: Michigan State (Big Ten; 4-3)

Minnesota at Maryland
With the Gophers leading scorer, Vincent Grier, out with an injury, Maryland should roll in a match-up that was hotly anticipated when the schedule was released. Minnesota lost at home to Gardner-Webb in their previous game without Grier, so it's tough to imagine they'll fare much better in the hostile Comcast Center. (Gardner-Webb hung tough with UNC earlier in the season also, so it's not that bad of a loss. Except that it's freakin' Gardner-Webb so it's totally that bad of a loss.)
Pick: Maryland (Challenge tied; 4-4)

Northwestern at Virginia
Dave Leitao's first big-game at UVA will be only seen by those with DirecTV, since this is the contest ESPN decided to put on its nearly-invisible ESPNU channel. (Virginia Tech/Ohio State was on regular TV, and Virginia gets the boot? Granted, that game was on Monday and everyone acted like it didn't happen last night; Brad Nessler repeatedly mentioned that Wake's victory over Wisconsin put the ACC up 1-0 in the Challenge. Or was the VT/OSU game on ESPNU too. I suppose I really don't know.)
Northwestern has been mentioned as a possible Tournament team, while UVA has been picked by nearly everyone to finish last in the conference. Still, University Hall is a tough place to play and Northwestern is still, well, Northwestern.
Pick: Virginia (ACC; 5-4)

Duke at Indiana
The second marquee game of the Challenge pits #1 Duke against an Indiana team Mike Davis has said is the most talented he's coached in Bloomington. That's saying a lot, considering IU went to the NCAA Finals in Davis' first year as head coach.
Last week, Drexel and Memphis had Duke on the ropes, but couldn't seem to make the big shot against the top-rated team in the country. Each had their chance late and only lost because of their own ineptitude. At this young point in the season, Duke is not nearly as good as the prognosticator's had forecasted. Memphis showed the nation what the ACC has known for three years; put a good defender on J.J. Redick and the Duke offense falls apart. For all his accolades, Shelden Williams is soft in the offensive paint and without another proven scoring threat, double teams can contain the All-American to a reasonable 15/10 night.
It's anyone's guess how Davis will choose to guard Redick and Williams, but with reigning Big Ten Freshman of the Year D.J. White's out, Redick could have free reign against the Hoosier defense.
Duke is #1 based on reputation only. If voters in the AP Poll had any gumption, they'd vote Connecticut #1 based on the way they rolled through the stacked field at the Maui Invitational. Duke has done nothing as of yet to show they deserve the #1 ranking. (This is the problem with pre-season polls; it takes a loss or act of God to get an undeserving #1 team out of the top spot. Voters are reluctant to move a team that hasn't lost, but has yet to impress. Duke, squeaking out wins against Drexel and Memphis, hardly looks like the best team in the country. With three freshman playing major minutes, the improvement is likely to come, but polls aren't supposed to be an indicator of the future, only a measure of the present.)
Even with all that, the smart money is still on Duke in this game. But don't surprised if the Hoosiers pull the upset. Or if Dick Vitale french-kisses Mike Krzyzewski before tip-off. Or if Vitale talks about Redick's poetry after every TV timeout. Or if Vitale starts humping Josh McRobert's leg during the postgame interview. Or if Vitale compares Redick to Derek Jeter. Or if Vitale mentions how great Chris Duhon is doing in the pros. Of if Vitale mentions how big of a mistake William Avery made by going pro five years ago. Or if Vitale discusses how the U.S. Basketball team is in great hands with Mike Krzyzewski. (Actually, I agree with Dickie V on that one, so I'll leave that be.) Or if Vitale says McRoberts has an NBA game, but should stay in school until 2016. Or if Vitale brings up Duke's "buddy system" which is such an easy mark, I won't even make any of the 4,500 obvious comments swimming through my head. Or if Vitale casually throws out names of other diaper dandies while drooling over McRoberts and Greg Paulas because he's reminded of the many stern lectures by his director for not mentioning anyone besides Dukies. Or if Vitale uses the words "underrated", "tenacious" or "high-energy" to describe Sean Dockery. Or if Vitale tells Doris Roberts she used to be a pretty good point guard herself. Or if Vitale stays silent for 3.5 straight seconds. Wait... Be shocked if that happens. My guess is that my mute button will be hit by the under-eight timeout.
Pick: Duke (ACC; 6-4)

North Carolina State at Iowa
Maybe the most intriguing game of the entire challenge, N.C. State heads to Iowa City to face a Hawkeye team that returns all five starters from an NCAA Tournament team. State, on the other hand, lost their best player to graduation. With Tony Bethel, Ilian Evtimov, Engin Atsur, Cameron Brennaman and Andrew Brackman on the floor, State has five guys with perimeter range though, something Iowa lacks.
The Hawkeyes should be able to control the game in the middle, but if any player on State gets hot, watch out.
Pick: Iowa (ACC; 6-5)

OK, I guess I still picked the ACC to win even though I said they'd lose because of those damn Hokies and Hurricanes. But I'm probably going to be wrong about that UVA/Northwestern game, which could be the deciding game of the entire event.
With the ACC's ill-advised expansion, they now have 12 teams in the conference. With only 11 in the curiously-named Big Ten, one ACC team will be left out of all Challenges. This year, Boston College got the shaft because it's their first year in conference. Next year, they'll almost definitely be included. If it's at the expense of a real ACC team, that would be a shame.
The conference should announce that from now until the end of the Challenge (the two leagues are signed up with ESPN through 2010; although another extension is likely due to the success of the event), the lone ACC school left out will alternate every year between the three new schools, Virginia Tech, Boston College and Miami. Although if they ever change the name of the tournament to the ACC/Big Ten/Teams-That-Can't-Win-In-Novemeber Challenge, Virginia Tech should get an automatic berth every time.

The Chaz Rankings: Week 12

Apparently, giving the New York Giants nine home games wasn’t enough. One day after their nail-biting overtime win over New York, the NFL informed the Seattle Seahawks that game officials blew two touchdown calls that went in the Giants favor and subsequently offered a formal apology to the team.
The calls, on touchdown receptions by Jeremy Shockey and Amami Toomer, respectively, were both ruled touchdowns on the field and upheld via replay review. Shockey’s TD came at the end of the first half on a third down play and was clearly not a touchdown, despite both rulings determining otherwise, while Toomer’s helped tie the game with under two minutes remaining in regulation. His catch was a lot closer and could have gone either way. That it went the Giants way, however, was not at all surprising.
There was never any doubt about which way those calls were going. Watching Giants games are like watching the 1972 Olympic basketball final; even when there is resounding evidence to the contrary, all the calls still have a way of breaking for the favored team.
I’ll give the NFL a small amount of credit though, at least they admitted their New York-bias. Granted, the story came out late last night and was buried on NFL.com (and ESPN.com) this morning and is now (12:15 p.m.) off both site’s main pages completely. And it was also a convenient time to apologize since the two blown calls didn’t hand the Giants a victory (you’ll notice there has still been no apology to the Saints for moving their “home” game to New York). You can bet the farm that if Seattle had lost that game, however, there would have been no such apology from the NFL.
Maybe this admission by the league will quiet all the Giants sycophants in the press, like Peter King, who have been whining for the past 48 hours about how the Seahawks “got lucky” in winning the game the other day. Nobody was talking about luck when the Patriots benefited from the most ridiculous rule in sports en route to their first Super Bowl title. It wasn’t luck when the Titans won a playoff game thanks to the Music City Miracle. But three missed field goals by a New York team and all of a sudden Seattle is luckier than Kevin Federline?
How about giving some credit to the Seattle defense for holding the Giants offense on the three drives so that the kicks were from 40, 54 and 48 yards, respectively. And surely the Giants play calling can get some of the blame; with 51 seconds left in the game New York was on the Seattle 31-yard line. Despite having time for a couple throws to the sideline, the Giants ran the ball up the middle, eventually reaching the 22-yard line. Feely then rushed on the field and missed the 40-yarder in regulation. Had they thrown the ball once or twice instead of playing for a 40-yard field goal, the Giants might be 8-3 today. But they’re not, and apparently there’s nobody to blame but Jay Feely for that.
On the Giants first overtime possession, the offense gained exactly zero yards on second and third down, leaving Feely with an unmakable 54-yarder. Yup, I can’t think of anyone else to blame.
And on what ended up being the Giants final possession of the game, Tiki Barber seemed to seal the game with a 49-yard run down to the Seahawks 31. For some reason, a pass play followed, which fell incomplete. On second down the Giants ran for four yards with Barber, only to see another Manning incompletion on third, setting up a 45-yarder for Feely which he, of course, missed.
None of this gets Feely off the hook, mind you. He should have been able to convert on at least the 40 yarder. (Although, the Giants called a running play on the down before the field goal attempt which caused Feely to rush his kick in order to get it off before the game clock hit zero. Had they thrown a pass, Feely would have had a full 40 seconds to get the kick off, instead of the 18 seconds he did.) But the Giants loss was a team effort. Even with the help of the officials they couldn’t get a W, which absolutely justifies Peter King ranking New York ahead of Seattle in his recent “Fine Fifteen”. Latte-loving kiss-ass.
And please don’t even get me started on Holmgren having to call a timeout in order to get a Shockey non-catch reviewed in overtime. The NFL should have apologized for that first.
Anyway, after all that, you won’t be shocked to find the Giants at #14 in the latest Chaz Rankings. The Bears make the big move of the week up from #10 to #5, while the Vikings jump into the top-half of the list for the first time all season. Miami (#27 to #20) also makes a big leap thanks, in large part, to the overwhelming crappiness of the bottom half of the league.
Pittsburgh finally moves out of the Top 5 after a dismal performance last in Indianapolis. No running game combined with an inordinate amount of screen passes equals blowout losses. Just ask Steve Spurrier.
The Seahawks probably aren’t the 3rd best team in the NFL (they might be the 3rd best team in the NFC), but even though I’m not sold on them and think they won’t make the NFC Championship Game, it’s tough to argue with a 9-2 record.
And anyone who thinks the Bears are too high, you’re an idiot. The Ravens won a Super Bowl five years ago and their offense was even worse than Chicago’s. And the Bears defense is better. Plus, Chicago has beat two of the NFC’s best teams in successive weeks. The best win Atlanta has is over Philly back in week one. Since then? Nada.
Houston blew a chance to get out the cellar by choking away a game against a Harvard grad (where’s Will Hunting when you need him) so they’ll stay at #32, even though the Jets are probably playing the worst football of any team in the league right now.
And, by the way, despite being 2-9, the Packers are still outscoring their opponents by nine points this season (232-223). That, my friends, is just the legend of Brett Favre in action.

1) Indianapolis Colts (11-0, #1)
2) Denver Broncos (9-2, #2)
3) Seattle Seahawks (9-2, #6)
4) San Diego Chargers (7-4, #4)
5) Chicago Bears (8-3, #10)
6) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-4, #3)
7) Cincinnati Bengals (8-3, #5)
8) Carolina Panthers (8-3, #11)
9) Jacksonville Jaguars (8-3, #8)
10) Dallas Cowboys (7-4, #7)
11) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-4, #9)
12) Kansas City Chiefs (7-4, #15)
13) Atlanta Falcons (7-4, #12)
14) New York Giants (7-4, #14)
15) Minnesota Vikings (6-5, #18)
16) New England Patriots (6-5, #13)
17) Washington Redskins (5-6, #17)
18) Philadelphia Eagles (5-6, #19)
19) St. Louis Rams (5-6, #20)
20) Miami Dolphins (4-7, #27)
21) Oakland Raiders (4-7, #16)
22) Buffalo Bills (4-7, #22)
23) Cleveland Browns (4-7, #21)
24) Detroit Lions (4-7, #23)
25) Arizona Cardinals (3-8, #25)
26) New Orleans Saints (3-8, #31)
27) Tennessee Titans (3-8, #28)
28) Baltimore Ravens (3-8, #26)
29) Green Bay Packers (2-9, #24)
30) San Francisco 49ers (2-9, #29)
31) New York Jets (2-9, #30)
32) Houston Texans (1-10, #32)

Monday Afternoon Cornerback

Way back in September, Joe Gibbs benched Redskins quarterback Patrick Ramsey in favor of veteran Mark Brunell. This came after Brunell led the team to an opening day victory following a Ramsey injury. It was a much scrutinized move; many observers wondered whether Gibbs had given Ramsey enough of a chance or if Brunell had anything left in the tank after an abysmal 2004 season.
For the first 56 minutes of Brunell’s first game as a starter, a Monday night contest in Dallas, the answer was clear: Gibbs had made a mistake. The 2005 Brunell was showing no improvement from the previous year.
With Dallas leading 13-0 with 4:15 left in the game, and Brunell limping towards a 17/31, 152 yard, one interception night, the QB attempted a deep pass to Taylor Jacobs in the endzone. The pass was about two yards short and ended up hitting off the facemask of Cowboys safety Roy Williams. Had Williams made the easy interception, Mark Brunell might not have started week 3 against Seattle and the cacophony Joe Gibbs criticism would have been deafening.
But Williams didn’t make the interception and three plays later Brunell hit Santana Moss for a 39-yard touchdown. Dallas appeared to have won the game after getting a first down on their next possession, but a holding call brought the play back. The Cowboys eventually were forced to punt, and after another Brunell-to-Moss connection for a TD Washington was up 14-13 and on their way to their second straight victory to open the 2005 season. Suddenly, Mark Brunell and Santana Moss were the toasts of the nation’s capital. That they were just one Roy Williams dropped interception away from facing a week of criticism and ridicule didn’t seem to matter.
This phenomena is not new, but has certainly been exacerbated by the 24-hour sports-talk culture fostered by ESPN. It’s not enough to analyze the game anymore, we have to dissect its meaning and make sweeping assumptions based on the results too. The only way to measure things now is by wins and losses. Playing well in a loss or playing poorly in a win doesn’t seem to matter. And in the standings, of course, it doesn’t. But it certainly matters when evaluating a team, player or coach.
The Washington Redskins have lost three straight games and everyone assumes they’re a terrible football team in need of a massive roster overhaul. Their owner hears this and probably believes it too. But nobody mentions that the Redskins were a blown goal line call, Walt Harris benching and Casey Rabach mental lapse away from winning those three games and leading the NFC East.
Yesterday, Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant failed to hit a 29-yard field goal that would have tied the Bucs-Bears game with 2:47 to go. Now, people in Tampa are wondering whether the Bucs have the offense to compete in the NFC and if the Bears are the new favorites in the NFC. But if Bryant hits that FG and the Bucs should win that game, those questions become irrelevant.
You can do this with nearly every team in the NFL: If Donovan McNabb doesn’t throw one of the worst interceptions in league history, the Eagles could still be in the playoff hunt. Instead, the entire next week was dedicated to stories about how Philly can’t win without Terrell Owens.
The Broncos secondary wilted in the Meadowlands and let Eli Manning march down the field, leading to a Giants victory. If Champ Bailey could make a play, nobody would be comparing Eli to John Elway. But Champ couldn’t do much of anything on that drive, so now Eli is a surefire Hall of Famer.
The list could go on and on. The 16-game schedule is partially to blame. With so few games, strange things can happen that can turn a 10-6 team into a 6-10 one in the blink of an eye. Mainly though, the utter mediocrity of most NFL teams is the reason so many team’s seasons hinge on so few plays.
What’s the difference between the Broncos, Chiefs and Chargers? Or the Giants, Cowboys, Redskins and Eagles? Or the Bengals, Steelers and Colts, for that matter? Not too much.
In today’s NFL, a few injuries, a few breaks and a few key plays are all that separates a great season from a disappointing one.

Sunday Superlatives
Game of the Day: San Diego 23 – Washington 17 (OT)
In a virtual elimination game, the Chargers came back from a ten-point 4th quarter deficit to tie the Redskins with under three minutes remaining. After a quick Washington three-and-out and another 38-yard punt from the worst punter ever to suit up in an NFL uniform (how Derrick Frost still has a job, despite not being able to punt over 40 yards, angle his punts or pooch punt is one of life’s great mysteries), it appeared San Diego would march down the field and win in regulation. But Marcus Washington made a great play on a Drew Brees throw, deflecting the ball into the hands of Shawn Springs and suddenly the Redskins had the ball on the Chargers 31 and their season appeared to be saved.
But on 2nd and 4 from the 25, center Casey Rabach nearly tackled a Chargers defender who was trailing on the play, earning a ten-yard holding penalty that put the Redskins out of John Hall’s range. Two weak play calls later, Hall attempted a 53-yarder that was neither long enough nor straight enough. The game went to overtime; two offensive plays later it was over. Just like the Redskins season.

Upset of the Day: Miami 33 – Oakland 21
The Norv Turner/Gus Frerotte reunion had all the feel of a Hall & Oates comeback. Minus the mustaches.

Player of the Day: Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB, St. Louis
After a blow to the head sidelined Rams backup Jamie Martin, the third-string rookie out of Harvard came in and threw for 310 yards and 3 TD, leading the Rams furious, on-side kick aided comeback in Houston.

Ryan Leaf Line of the Day: Jay Feely – 3 missed potential game-winning FGs
Like I said above, don’t read too much into the Giants loss. If Feely makes any of those kicks, the G-Men are 8-3 and in contention for home-field advantage in the NFC.
I’m just kidding; the Giants still suck. And can anyone seriously explain why Eli Manning threw 53 times, completing just 54% (which, for Eli, is a massively successful afternoon), while Tiki Barber only had 26 rushes (averaging 5.8 yards-per)?

Faulk Fantasy Player of Day: LaDainian Tomlinson – 184 rush yds, 29 rec yds, 3 TD – 40 fantasy points
He would have thrown for TD too, had Marcus Washington not made a phenomenal play on a perfect LDT pass to Drew Brees.

Boldin Fantasy Player of Day: Marcus Robinson – 32 rec yds, 3 TD – 21 fantasy points
I couldn’t bring myself to watch Primetime last night – too depressed – but I can only imaging the amount of “koo-koo-katchoo’ing” Chris Berman was doing during the Vikings highlights.

TV Note of the Week
For what seems like the 83rd consecutive week, ESPN’s NFL Countdown led with a Terrell Owens story, which seems a little bit like the NBC Nightly News opening their show with a story about that Baby Jessica chick who fell down the well.

Predictions
Began the week with a rough 0-2 Thanksgiving start, but rebounded with a 12-1 Sunday.

The Chaz Rankings: Top Two
1) Indianapolis Colts - I’m no fan of the 1972 Dolphins and their champagne-popping ways, but I think all the criticism of them in the media this week has been a little unnecessary. So these guys are having some fun and don’t want any other team to go undefeated… What’s so bad about that?
2) Pittsburgh Steelers - I mean, it’s not like they’re getting caught driving around with drug paraphernalia they claim isn’t theirs. (We need to find out what exactly was in his car. If it was a bowl or some other weed-smoking device, then I’ll be a bit disappointed. I’m holding out hope police hit the crack-pipe jackpot.)

Who I Like Monday Night and I Certainly Don’t Mean Michael Irvin
It's the last good Monday Night Football match-up of the season, and I don't have a clue as to what will happen. Will Pittsburgh, buoyed by the return of Ben Roethlisberger, smash the ball through the Colts overrated line? Or will Peyton Manning, visions of a perfect season dancing in his head, pick apart the Steelers vaunted secondary?
Pittsburgh held Cincinnati to 13 points earlier this season while Indy just gave up 37 to them last week. That stat seems like it should matter, but I don't think it does. The Colts take it in easy fashion, 27-20.

NFL Picks: Week 12 - "What I'm Thankful For" Edition

Atlanta at Detroit
What I’m Thankful For: Popeye’s
You can’t spell “Pop, this is tasty, delicious chicken” without P-O-P-E-Y-E-S.
Pick: Detroit

Denver at Dallas
What I’m Thankful For: Bill Raftery
I bet Raftery’s wife forcibly removes him from the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning after the eighth time he runs by the stove, yells “ONIONS!” and throws a handful of the pungent vegetable into her stuffing mix.
Pick: Dallas

Carolina at Buffalo
What I’m Thankful For: Angela (left) and Renee… But mainly Angela Pick: Carolina

St. Louis at Houston
What I’m Thankful For: Car horns
If I don’t let everyone know they’re a terrible driver, who will?
Pick: St. Louis

Baltimore at Cincinnati
What I’m Thankful For: John Feinstein’s new book, Next Man Up
It’s not often you can dissect the mind of a genius while they’re still alive and refining their brilliance, but that’s exactly what Feinstein’s new book provides; unfettered access into the wisdom of the world’s second smartest man, Brian Billick. If only Feinstein writes his next book about Bono, we’ll be all set.
Pick: Cincinnati

New England at Kansas City
What I’m Thankful For: The Die Hard trilogy
Yippee-Kayee, Mr. Falcon.
Pick: Kansas City

Cleveland at Minnesota
What I’m Thankful For: Billy Ocean’s “Loverboy” Video
The Trinidadian-born Ocean is best known for his hit “Caribbean Queen”, but Billy’s seminal recording was the 1985 release, “Loverboy,” which is enhanced by a remarkable video that is indescribable. I tried though. During my first viewing of the “Loverboy” video earlier this month, I wrote the following email to my college roommate Falkow:

holy s---. I’m watching this billy ocean video on vh1 classic where he’s dancing in some sort of inter-galactic bar that looks like it belongs in star wars, and there are these cheesy special effects and ridiculous looking dinosaur-looking creatures with weird hair and expressionless faces getting mad at each other and one of them is supposed to be a hot chick-dinosaur and they’re all vying for her, and then there’s one with a tv for a head and now they’re getting in a laser fight.. and billy ocean is dancing in a leather vest in the middle of it all... I’m not even doing it justice. now the lead dinosaur looking thing is taking the chick away and these little dudes are praying on the beach to a vision of billy ocean singing in a box hanging overhead... oh f---, this was amazing.

Pick: Minnesota

Chicago at Tampa Bay
What I’m Thankful For: This picture of my buddy Antzo Pick: Chicago

San Diego at Washington
What I’m Thankful For: That this game is on CBS
Which means that, for the second straight week, viewers in the Washington D.C. area won’t be subjected to the monstrosity that is every Ravens game.
Pick: San Diego

San Francisco at Tennessee
What I’m Thankful For: The Fugees comeback album, due out December 27
Even with Lauryn Hill in full diva mode (story halfway down), The Fugees album looks like a go, meaning that within in seven day stretch, Wyclef, Pras and Lauryn will release their first album in nearly a decade AND The Wedding Crashers comes out on DVD (January 3, 2006).
To think, scholars once believed the Age of Enlightenment took place in the 18th century!
Pick: Tennessee

Jacksonville at Arizona
What I’m Thankful For: College Basketball
It’s only November 23, but it feels like mid-March thanks to some fantastic pre-season tournaments, which have been highlighted by the stacked field at the Maui Invitational. Five of the eight teams in the tournament are ranked, and six of the participating schools have won National Championships in the past 17 years. And the lone Division I team in the field without a title on their resume, Gonzaga, has been a perennial top-10 team over the past five seasons.
They showed why last night after a thrilling 109-106 triple-overtime victory over Michigan State, in what was one of the best-played basketball games you’ll ever see.
Consider:
- There were 13 lead changes in the game’s final 7:13, including four in the final 1:13.
- Michigan State hit a buzzer-beating three to tie the game in regulation.
- Gonzaga had a chance to win in the first overtime, but three shots rimmed out as time expired.
- The first overtime ended in bizarre fashion with the shot clock buzzer sounding with three seconds left in the game, despite Gonzaga hitting the rim with one second left on the shot clock (four in the game). Most of the ten players on the floor thought either the game was over, or a shot clock violation had occurred, and stopped playing. Gonzaga forward J.P. Batista caught the rebound and made a half-hearted attempt at a game-winner as time expired, but missed.
- Gonzaga had a chance to win in double-overtime after officials put .9 seconds back on the clock following a Michigan State traveling violation, but the Bulldogs were unable to get a shot off.
- The teams were a combined 53-58 from the free-throw line and only missed once after halftime.
- Adam Morrison dropped 43 points, showing the assembled NBA scouts that Rudy Gay wasn’t the only NBA-ready player in Maui.
- Maurice Ager hit five three-pointers in the final seven minutes of regulation, including the game-tying shot at the buzzer.
- The headline on ESPN.com after the game was “Maui Wowie!” Somebody was apparently watching Half-Baked in Bristol last night.
Critics are always trying to bury college basketball, saying all the early NBA entries, parity at the top and the creation of the super-conferences has ruined the game. And while those things have certainly changed the sport, game’s like Gonzaga-Michigan State proved that college basketball played at its highest level is still as good as it gets.
Pick: Jacksonville

New York Giants at Seattle
What I’m Thankful For: Eli Manning’s completion percentage
Sometimes, late at night when I can’t sleep, my mind racing as I think of all the pressures and responsibilities of life, I snuggle up next to Eli’s 52% completion percentage and realize all is right with the world.
Pick: Seattle

Miami at Oakland
What I’m Thankful For: Adam Morrison’s mustache
Some think the Morrison-Larry Bird comparison is fitting because they are both 6-8 forwards with deadly range. Others think its apt because they both move well with the ball and earn rebounds because of good positioning. Still others believe Morrison and Bird are linked because of their lack of melanin. But I, for one, think the Morrison/Bird comparison is fitting because both have/had “barely-there” mustaches in college that make them look like that Mexican kid who sat next to you in 5th grade who had yet to discover a razor.
Pick: Oakland

Green Bay at Philadelphia
What I’m Thankful For: Allen Iverson’s “practice?” press conference
Reporter - "So you and coach Brown got caught up on Saturday about practice?"
Iverson - “"If I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game last it's my last but we're talking about practice man. How silly is that? Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you've seen me play right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about practice right now.
Pick: Philadelphia

New Orleans at New York Jets
What I’m Thankful For: This contest in NJ is a planned road game for the Saints
But if the Jets win, Paul Tagliabue is going to award the W to the Giants.
Pick: New Orleans

Last Week: 12-4
Season: 111-49

The Chaz Rankings: Week 11

1) Indianapolis Colts (10-0, #1) - Rumor has it Nick Buoniconti and some of his 1972 Dolphins teammates have been in contact with Jeff Gillooly to see if he’d be willing to Kerrigan Peyton Manning before next week’s Steelers game.

2) Denver Broncos (8-2, #4) - Up 20-0 with under 3:00 remaining in his team’s game versus the Jets, Mike Shanahan opted to go for it on 4th down instead of kicking a field goal. The Broncos made it and scored a TD two plays later. Classless displays like that are the reason Mike Shanahan has never won a playoff game without John Elway, doesn’t give to charity, tramples his neighbors flowerbeds just for grins, ignores the homeless, kicks every third dog he sees, donates money to Kim Jong-Il, once gave a speech in which he advocated the adoption of corporal punishment for jaywalkers, unscrews the top of salt shakers so the next person using them will pour all the salt on their food and is just an overall deplorable human being. (FYI; The fact that Manderson’s third TD lost me my fantasy game had little to no bearing on the previous sentence.)

3) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-3, #2) - As per Maddox family tradition, Tommy Maddox will start the clan’s annual Thanksgiving football game as the permanent quarterback but will be benched by the third possession in favor of his half-blind and partially-crippled Uncle Stu.

4) San Diego Chargers (6-4, #8) - The Chargers bouncy ride throughout The Chaz Rankings (12, 12, 10, 5, 15, 3, 10, 5, 7, 8) reminds me of the time I was sitting next to Miss April 1997 on an airplane and we hit a patch of turbulence. Man, that was a great flight.

5) Cincinnati Bengals (7-3, #7) - We’re about five weeks away from Chad Johnson brokering peace between Israel and Palestine during his touchdown celebration.

6) Seattle Seahawks (8-2, #6) - Quick thoughts on the Red Sox/Marlins trade: Josh Beckett is a beast and I’ll be happy to see him in a Red Sox uniform. However, the young flamethrower moves from a pitcher’s park (Dolphins Stadium) to a hitter’s park (Fenway Park) and from the N.L. East to the A.L. East, where the addition of the DH and stacked lineups is sure to bump his ERA up a fair amount. Still, Beckett instantly becomes to the team’s ace, something they desperately needed. But at what price?
Sox fans have been drooling over Hanley Ramirez for years, he’s been the organization’s top-rated prospect for the past two seasons and every indication is that he’ll be a star at the major league level. All of this made last year’s signing of Edgar Renteria all the more curious (just one of many reasons) as Hanley became expendable at that point. In a perfect world, the Sox never would have signed Renteria and Ramirez would be the starting shortstop this season, but that’s not the way Boston has worked of late. Like the Yankees, they’d rather snatch someone else’s proven talent while trading away their own unproven commodities.
As for Mike Lowell, I’d bet good money he was on the juice and is now off, hence his 25 homer, 57 batting point and 222 point OPS drop-off in the last two years. Teams like the Red Sox can afford to waste $9 million on a Mike Lowell, but can’t necessarily give him a starting job. (Bill Mueller likely departs now (to the White Sox, perhaps) and Kevin Youkilis will take over duties at first.) Also, if the Sox can pay Mike Lowell $9 million to be terrible, then they can surely pay Manny Ramirez $17 million to be the best hitter in baseball.

7) Dallas Cowboys (7-3, #5) - Without doing any research whatsoever (so this is what it’s like to be Dan Shanoff), I’m going to venture a guess and say that the Dallas/Denver tilt is the best Thanksgiving day game of the young century.

8) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-3, #9) - Some fledgling shoe company needs to sign Jaguars WR Matt Jones to an endorsement deal and then start an ad campaign entitled “Who is Matt Jones?”

9) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-3, #12) - Speaking of commercials, which mastermind in the GM advertising department decided Suzy Kolber would make a good spokeswoman for Chevrolet’s new line of low-priced family sedans? Outside of sports fans, Kolber has a Q rating on par with the guy who hosted Talk Soup after Greg Kinnear but before the guy with the Rasheed Wallace-esque white patch in his hair. And among those that know who she is, only my buddy Phil thinks Kolber possesses any of the qualities that tend to appeal to the superficial male; unless you think women with voices as deep as Teddy Pendergrass are sexy, that is.

10) Chicago Bears (7-3, #15) - Will there be anything more depressing than the inevitable “Super Fans” sketch on Saturday Night Live featuring Horatio Sanz in the role once occupied by Chris Farley? I even wonder if Lorne Michaels still has George Wendt’s number.

11) Carolina Panthers (7-3, #3) - The Panthers might have lost at Soldier Field on Sunday, but had the game been played on emotional terrain instead of natural grass, Carolina probably would have pulled out the W.

12) Atlanta Falcons (6-4, #10) - How can anyone take Bono seriously when he makes comments like that? OK, I guess the real question is, how can anyone take Bono seriously when he does anything while wearing those wraparound tinted sunglasses, writes terrible music and is an insufferable prick. And Bono, don’t worry; when I listen to your songs, it feels like 100 years have passed, so that’s half the battle right there.

13) New England Patriots (6-4, #11) - Yesterday on PTI Ron Jaworski said this might be Bill Belichick’s best coaching job yet. I have the utmost respect for Jaws, but have to disagree with him on this topic. I think Belichick’s best coaching job was when the ridiculous tuck rule gave the Pats an undeserved playoff win on a silver (and black) platter, thus leading to their first Super Bowl (another great coaching job by Belichick; by watching Mike Martz single-handedly lose the game for the Rams, Belichick put himself among the all-time coaching greats.)

14) New York Giants (7-3, #13) - After watching their baffling play-calls over the past months, I’m starting to think that the Giants offensive coaching staff just uses the New York tabloids to prepare for games in lieu of game film. It’s like the coaches read the hype about Eli Manning, Jeremey Shockey and Brandon Jacobs and automatically believe it, without regard to what actually happens on the field. Why else would the G-Men call 48 pass plays in a week where Tiki Barber was averaging five yards per rush? And what else could possibly explain bringing in Brandon Jacobs for short yardage situations when the highly-touted, low-talent rookie has shown exactly zero aptitude for getting positive yardage without fumbling this season? In a crucial situation on Sunday, the Giants called Jacobs number three consecutive times while on the Eagles one-yard line, to predictable results. Jacobs was stuffed on first down, fumbled on second (but was incorrectly ruled down) and was once again stopped on third. Is there any doubt that Tiki Barber would have found the endzone on one of those three plays? Or that the magnificent Eli Manning would have thrown a touchdown pass while pulling a rabbit out of his hat and discovering the cure for cancer?

15) Kansas City Chiefs (6-4, #16) - Reverend Run once said, “Calvin Klein’s no friend of mine.” The same goes for anybody who calls this Larry Johnson “Grandmama”.

16) Oakland Raiders (4-6, #22) - Why did T.O. get fined and essentially cut for making a fairly obvious observation about Donovan McNabb, but Randy Moss got off scot free for doing the same thing to Norv Turner, but in a less verbal way?

17) Washington Redskins (5-5, #14) - They say a tie is like kissing your sister. If that’s the case, then losing to Norv Turner is like getting punched in the face by your sister, who happens to be Chyna.

18) Minnesota Vikings (5-5, #17) - Three straight wins after a 2-3 start? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Well, if you’re thinking that the only way to celebrate such a comeback is by popping some Dramamine, calling up some hookers and heading out for a pleasure cruise, then guy, you are indeed thinking what I’m thinking.

19) Philadelphia Eagles (4-6, #19) - Is anybody else hoping EA Sports decides to put Eli Manning on the cover of Madden ‘07?

20) St. Louis Rams (4-6, #18) - The words “All-Pro Lito Sheppard” sound as natural as “President Mary Kate Olsen”.

21) Cleveland Browns (4-6, #24) - Charlie Frye? Wasn’t that the name of the guy from Party of Five? It probably wasn’t, but please don’t ruin this for me. I can get at least three weeks of quality jokes out of this.

22) Buffalo Bills (4-6, #20) - Doesn’t it seem like the Bills are always 4-6? (I just went back to check and, indeed, the Bills have been 4-6 in each of the last three seasons. Consistent mediocrity is the Bills emotional terrain, so they have that in common with Bono.)

23) Detroit Lions (4-6, #21) - GM announced yesterday they are cutting 30,000 hard-working and proficient employees. Ford, meanwhile, still has Matt Millen on their payroll.

24) Green Bay Packers (2-8, #25) - Sam Gado ran for 6 yards on 10 carries last night. Yet, I still my lost my fantasy game because the new Nigerian Nightmare caught a 30 yard lob pass from Brett Favre that was actually 29 yards, but was scored as a 30 yarder, thus giving me a 110-109 loss because of one freakin’ yard (and the fact that my buddy Horowitz trade Mike Anderson for Darrell Jackson). I’m fully against black-on-black crime, but Gado almost made me reconsider my stance. I stayed true to my nonviolent principles, though, when I heard Gado is a pretty good guy. And also because I’m not black.

25) Arizona Cardinals (3-7, #28) - From here on out, I promise I won’t bore you with any more tales of many recent fantasy woes.

26) Baltimore Ravens (3-7, #31) - OK, I lied: This week; Sam Gado’s non-30 yard catch killed me. Last week I mistakenly started my bye week pick-up Olindo Mare instead of Jeff Wilkens, and lost by the difference in their totals. The week before, I tied 66-66 and lost because my overtime player, Fred Taylor, didn’t start. So, in the past three weeks, I’ve lost by a grand total of four points. This would be unsettling in any circumstance, but since my slide from 7-1 to 7-4 has coincided with the Redskins collapse, I’m making sure to keep myself away from sharp objects and the third rail on the Metro.

27) Miami Dolphins (3-7, #23) - How does Miami have both Gus Frerotte and Sage Rosenfels on their roster? Who’s their emergency QB, John Friesz?

28) Tennessee Titans (2-8, #27) - If they didn’t keep appearing in the NFL Standings, I don’t know if I’d remember that the Titans still fielded a team.

29) San Francisco 49ers (2-8, #30) - As part of their ever-growing empire, Google has announced plans to develop a complex algorithm that will mathematically determine just how much Kevan Barlow sucks.

30) New York Jets (2-8, #26) - Eli Manning is ranked 5th in completion percentage among New York city quarterbacks, behind Chad Pennington, Vinny Testaverde, Brooks Bollinger and Craig Hormann.

31) New Orleans Saints (2-8, #29) - Man, how long ago does that Sports Illustrated cover seem?

32) Houston Texans (1-9, #32) - Anybody else thinking David Carr probably couldn’t have put up 42 against USC on Saturday night?

Monday Afternoon Cornerback

Sunday Superlatives
Game of the Day: Indianapolis 42 - Cincinnati 34
As I stumbled to bed at 2:30 on Saturday night, my plans for a quiet, early-to-sleep evening shot by USC and Fresno State's four-hour classic, I was convinced the Trojans and Bulldogs had just played the most entertaining football game in years and how it would be a long time before any other match-up could rival what had just taken place in Los Angeles. "A long time" apparently meant 14 hours because the Colts and Bengals shootout yesterday was one of the more exciting offensive contests in recent memory.
The two teams combined for 62 first half points, the second highest total in NFL history. The defenses clamped down in the second half though, after Indy regained their eight-point lead on a grueling 15-play drive that saw Peyton Manning hand-off to Edgerrin James ten times (including seven times in a row, at one point).
Cincinnati still has only beat one team with a winning record (Chicago), but this game put the NFL on notice that the Bengals are for real. Carson Palmer will be an All-Pro for the next ten seasons, Chad Johnson is the premiere receiver in football and the combination of Rudi Johnson and Chris Perry creates a formidable rushing attack. Once Marvin Lewis gets his defense going, Cincy will be a consistent Super Bowl threat.
The Colts now become just the fourth team since 1990 to start the year 10-0 but just like the 1990 Giants and 49ers, 1991 Redskins and 1998 Broncos, Indy won't finish the regular season undefeated.

Upset of the Day: Chicago 13 - Carolina 3
I picked this one, but was still surprised when it happened. The Bears defense dominated the game, picking off Jake Delhomme twice and sacking him a staggering eight times, which is particularly remarkable considering Delhomme is known as a QB who doesn't hold on to the ball too long.
With the win, Chicago becomes the first team in NFL history to be a threat to win homefield advantage while also being one to not make the playoffs at all. That's no insult to the Bears, but their finishing schedule is brutal (four road games (at Tampa, Pittsburgh, Green Bay and Minnesota) against just two at Soldier Field (Atlanta and Green Bay) while the Vikings is considerably easier. If the Vikes get a W tonight, they'll have a good shot at making the playoffs.

Player of the Day: Cadillac Williams, RB, Tampa Bay
Cadillac's rushing yardage in his previous four games: 82
Cadillac's rushing yardage yesterday in Atlanta: 116
The one-time MVP candidate (after three games, mind you) was written-off by nearly everyone following a four-game stretch where he averaged under two-yards per rush, but in Tampa's biggest game of the season, the Caddy dieseled his way to 116 yards and a touchdown, giving the Bucs the lead in the tough NFC South.

Ryan Leaf Line of the Day: Miami Quarterbacks - 9/28, 67 yards, 2 INT
That's what you get when the top two spots of your quarterback depth chart are taken by cast-offs from the Washington Redskins.

Faulk Fantasy Player of Day: Peyton Manning - 365 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT - 30 fantasy points
I once again revert to wisdom dropped by ESPN.com "fantasy expert" Eric Karrabell just nine days ago: “Is [Peyton Manning] even a better [fantasy] play than his brother? (Um, no.)”

Boldin Fantasy Player of Day: Larry Johnson - 211 rush yds, 2 TD - 33 fantasy points
Before the season started, I had a debate with my buddy Phil about the merits of drafting a player's back-up for fantasy purposes. My contention was that Priest Holmes wouldn't make it through the season, so picking Larry Johnson made sense. Phil disagreed. This bodes well for any prospective clients the recent law school grad might encounter in the future.

Fantasy Bust of Day: Willis McGahee - 39 rush yds - 3 fantasy points
Is there anything better than college basketball coaches wearing Hawaiian shirts during the Maui Invitational? Tom Izzo looks like a tourist from one of those American Express commercials where the guy loses his traveler's checks. Twenty bucks says Gary Williams goes sans Hawaiian shirt, by the way.

Predictions
Finished 12-3 on the NFL's first 15-game Sunday since September. Nailed the Chicago, Tampa and Arizona upsets, but continue to be seduced by those damn Redskins, who are so done by the way. Oh, they might beat San Diego this Sunday just to tease everyone, but they're done like The Simpsons have been for seven years. More on that tomorrow.

The Chaz Rankings: Top Two
1) Indianapolis Colts - They're losing to Jacksonville in two weeks. Mark it down.
2) Pittsburgh Steelers - Big Ben wasn't there, so they get a pass... For now.

Who I Like Monday Night and I Certainly Don’t Mean The NFL Execs Who Scheduled This Game
Because my idiot friend Horo traded Mike Anderson for Darrell Jackson a few weeks ago, I'm in dire need of the Packers RB injury bug to hit Sam Gado... Early. Anderson scored 30 points yesterday while playing against me, while Horo's acquisition, Jackson, didn't play, thus bringing his point total on 'Tommy's Boys" to a whopping ZERO since Horo acquired him. I dropped 109 freakin' points yet still need Gado to be held to two or under, meaning I'm screwed. I had half-a-mind to drive to Green Bay this afternoon, steal a field pass from Michael Irvin by luring him to a room with a trail of crack and then swiping the credential from him while he searched his outfit's 49 pockets for a lighter so I could position myself next to Mike Tice during the game and yell "sweep the leg!" repeatedly at Fred Smoot everytime Brett Favre called a running play.
But because gas prices are still too high, I didn't do this, so now I probably won't watch the game and instead revel in the glory of today's college basketball lineup (Maryland/Gonzaga, Arizona/Kansas, West Virginia/Texas, Kentucky/Iowa and Arkansas/Connecticut are all on the bill this evening).
Picks: Gonzaga, Kansas, Texas, Kentucky, Connecticut and Green Bay, 35-24.

NFL Picks: Week 11

Carolina at Chicago
Between Olin Kreutz and Steve Smith, Panthers running back Stephen Davis might want to keep his thoughts on who might be a disparaging-term-for-a-homosexual-that-rhymes-with-bag to himself.
Pick: Chicago

Detroit at Dallas
This is the first time the Lions and Cowboys have met in the week before their respective Thanksgiving Day home games.
OK, I’m totally making that up, but you would have believed me if I hadn’t said anything. I’m so totally drunk with power right now.
Pick: Dallas

New Orleans at New England
This is one of four alliterative matchups this weekend, something that is sure to cause jealousy among Houston, Washington, Buffalo, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Green Bay, Jacksonville and Oakland; the only eight NFL teams who would be unable to participate in such an alphabetic jubilee. Such syllabary news must make Al Davis long for the days when Oorang still fielded a team.
Pick: New England


Pittsburgh at Baltimore
The fact that Brian Billick has a Super Bowl ring and Bill Cowher does not weighs heavily on the mustachioed Pittsburgh coach. In an attempt to put this startling fact behind him, Cowher visited a therapist who recommended he channel Alfred Hitchcock to ask the master of suspense how he copes with the knowledge that he never won an Oscar while Marisa Tomei has one sitting on her mantle.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Tampa Bay at Atlanta
In a recent edition of USA Today, the newspaper rated the best football cities in the NFL. Tampa finished #17, while Atlanta ranked 33rd, just behind Oorang.
Pick: Tampa Bay

Oakland at Washington
I’ve never been jealous of a pro athlete. Until now. (By the way, today's Washington Post the the greatest front-page headline in the paper's illustrious history. In a 48-point font above-the-fold head, one of the nation's most prestigous newspapers asked the question on all our minds, "Who Shot Cam'ron?"
Pick: Washington

Miami at Cleveland
This is the first week since September to feature a full-slate of NFL games which can only mean one thing: Curt Menefee’s vacation is over.
Pick: Miami

Jacksonville at Tennessee
Last night’s loss to Florida will be just one of many for Wake Forest this season. Every flaw Wake was thought to have this off-season was on display in The Garden yesterday, from poor ball handling skills to lack of consistent rebounding to uneven jump shooting. The Deacs have had great success in the past three seasons in spite of the minimal coaching ability of Skip Prosser, but this year, with no point guard and no front-court help for Eric Williams, Skip’s non-existent in-game acumen will not just hurt Wake in the postseason, but the regular season as well.
It’s early, yes. But so far, all signs point to a huge struggle this year for the Deacs.
Pick: Jacksonville

Arizona at St. Louis
Rams officials considered honoring ex-St. Louis QB Kurt Warner with a plaque before the game, but the plan was nixed for fear of Warner fumbling the exchange.
Pick: Arizona

Philadelphia at New York Giants
Since when did a 4-5 record in the NFL become an insurmountable roadblock on the way to the playoffs? With the way the Eagles have seemingly given up on their season and simply waved the white flag, despite being just two games out of the lead in the NFC East, I’m forced to believe that Donovan McNabb has some French ancestors or something.
Pick: New York Giants

Seattle at San Francisco
I really want to pick Philly in that game, by the way, but Mike McMahon seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t even put himself in the game when he’s playing Madden, so I’m certainly not going to hitch my wagon to him.
Pick: Seattle

Buffalo at San Diego
After forwarding him the Portis/Best Buy link, my college roommate and Best Buy Life Partner, Greg, responded: “if one of us ever gets insanely rich, he has to give this to other as a birthday gift, and then we can have it filmed and put on dvd for the memories.”
I wrote back, “that is the greatest idea since – no. That is the greatest idea ever.”
Pick: San Diego

New York Jets at Denver
This new error-free Jake Plummer is great and all, but anyone who will be surprised by the inevitable Plummer meltdown is just being naïve. Remember last year when everyone said Howard Dean couldn’t behave long enough to snag the Democratic Presidential nomination, then he proved everyone wrong for two months and all the newsweeklies and bloggers started to write about how Dean could actually win and how he really always had it in him, which was immediately followed by this?
Just remember the parallels when Jake has his 5 INT game in the playoffs.
Pick: Denver

Indianapolis at Cincinnati
Part of me wants to take Cincy, but part of me also kind of likes Kelly Clarkson. OK, all of me likes Kelly Clarkson.
Pick: Indianapolis

Kansas City at Houston
In order to win back the confidence of his team after last week’s putrid three-point effort and rumors of retirement following the game-winning two-point conversion call two weeks back, Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil recently played his remix of the 7th Floor Crew’s song for his players, which included the 65-year old coach dropping lines like, “If my first’s name a way of life, then my middle should be ‘Balla’/I mack on ho’s, win big games and have the n----‘s yellin’ ‘Holla!’
Pick: Kansas City

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 99-45

Turns Out My Ho Didn't Know

Early this morning a story with the headline, "Demeaning Recording Credited to Miami Athletes" went across the AP Wire. Armed with little information, the AP story began:

A 2-year-old profanity-laced recording that denigrates women and minorities surfaced on the Web on Tuesday, putting the University of Miami's athletic department on the defensive about its image.
Miami's carefully cultivated image as a school well-past the days that earned it the reputation as a program lacking institutional control may have taken a blow when the rap song, which sources told ESPN.com includes the voices of several football players, surfaced on the Internet.
A group calling itself the 7th Floor Crew -- the name reportedly comes from the seventh floor of the Mahoney Residential College, campus housing at Miami -- made a recording referencing multiple acts of group sex, derogatory terms for women and minorities and dozens of curse words that lasts approximately 9 minutes. School officials say the song was recorded two years ago, but that seems to offer little solace.

After the initial story went out, Miami officials quickly distanced itself from the recording (as if people were wondering whether that was Donna Shalala moaning in the background during the second verse), but numerous columns sprang up on the Internet proclaiming Miami had once again become Thug U.
This, of course, is nonsense. Miami never stopped being Thug U, they just did a better job of covering it up of late.

Some more thoughts on the subject:
- The 7th Floor Crew song isn't exactly something you'd play for Grandma at Thanksgiving dinner, but it's no more offensive to women or minorities than any other hip-hip song on the charts right now. Sure, it's lewd, but was this two-year unreleased song really worthy of national attention and an apology from the University of Miami?
Frankly, I'm shocked - SHOCKED - that Division I-A football players dream of being rappers, enjoy having sex, refer to women as "bitches" and "ho's" and have an overinflated sense of self-worth. I suppose next we'll find out that universities are bending admissions rules to let some of these same players in. The horror!

- How many of these self-righteous critics who are up in arms about this song do you think have actually heard the recording in question? Five percent? Ten, max?
Granted, if this were any other school, the song wouldn't have been the top story on ESPN.com all day, but Miami brought this upon themselves after 20 years of "carefully cultivating" the image as a rebellious football school with a lawless atmosphere. The day Jimmy Johnson had his players dress up in fatigues before a game was the day things stopped being surprising in Coral Gables. (Because of this image, many people don't realize Miami is a well-respected private school with only 15,000 students.)
I'm also enjoying the notion that Miami has abandoned the win-at-all-cost mentality and this new blemish somehow harms the school's newfound dignity. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Miami recently admit all-world linebacker Willie Williams after they learned he had been arrested 11 times during high school?
University President Donna Shalala is a blathering hypocrite (she showed this during Miami's courtship with the ACC), so I'm sort of happy this non-controversy has turned controversial.
This song was nothing more than some football players having a good time trying to live out their hip-hop dreams by laying down some mediocre raps on a surprisingly good track with a catchy-ass hook. Get over it people.

Wednesday Thoughts

Baseball Completes Award Season, 44 Days After Season Ends
MLB's regular season ended so long ago, I had forgotten Derrek Lee wasn't Asian.
Baseball has an unusual way on announcing their end-of-season awards, naming the winners on a day-by-day basis in the first and second weeks of November, and even though the process seems a bit overwrought, it does manage to generate conversation and excitement.
Baseball writers are notoriously moronic when it comes to giving out year-end awards and this season was no different.
Gold Gloves have always been meaningless, as voters seem to cast their ballot only for players who have won before (hence Omar Vizquel getting the nod this season). The award hit rock bottom this year though when Derek Jeter somehow won his second award despite being, at best, the fourth-best defensive shortstop in the A.L.
I'll give the writers some credit; they did manage not to mess up the Manager of the Year Awards; they correctly honored Ozzie Guillen and Bobby Cox.
Nobody cares about Rookie of the Year anymore, but Huston Street and Ryan Howard were two solid choices.
Chris Carpenter was a fine selection for the N.L. Cy Young Award, even though he was third on my ballot behind Roger Clemens and Dontrelle Willis. As usual, the writers were seduced by win totals, which is why Bartolo Colon nabbed his first Cy Young despite having only the 8th best ERA in the American League. Johan Santana or Mariano Rivera deserved the award.
It's tough to argue with the selection of Albert Pujols as N.L. MVP. He has put up MVP numbers before, but this was his first win thanks to Barry Bonds and his fondness for being a despicable cheater. Even so, Derrek Lee had better numbers, but the fact that he played on a worse team than Pujols lost him the award, and even ridiculously put him behind Andruw Jones.
My thoughts on the A. Rod/Big Papi race have been made quite clear, but here's one more, courtesy of Sons of Sam Horn:

In the 40% of the season that consisted of close games, ARod hit .243 / .340 / .465 with 38 RBI, while Ortiz hit .321 / .417 / .699 with 62 RBI. In the 12.3% percent of the season that consisted of blowout wins, ARod hit .549 / .622 / 1.171 with 46 RBI and Ortiz hit .272 / .344 / .642 with 26 RBI.

But hey, at least baseball got Comeback Player of the Year right.

Sports Illustrated Gives Hopes To Those With Souls, Puts Duke On Cover Of College Basketball Preview
On the cover of their college basketball preview, Sports Illustrated asks, "Can Anyone Stop Duke?"
It's a good question (and, actually, a good looking cover; a shot of the Dukies getting ready to run a windsprint en masse, presumably because the Judy Garland double-feature at the Student Union was starting in three minutes), but it has an easy answer: Yes.
Maybe nobody will be able to stop them this year, but a question like, "can anyone stop ____" implies that nobody has stopped the question subject in a while. Yet, recently, Duke has been stopped more times than Cat Stevens at an airport.
2002: #1 seed, loses to Indiana in Sweet 16
2003: #3 seed, loses to Kansas in Sweet 16
2004: #1 seed, loses to Connecticut in Final Four
2005: #1 seed, loses to Michigan State in Sweet 16
Four seasons, three #1 seeds, three Sweet 16 exits, one Final Four trip, no Championship game appearances. Sounds like the Blue Devils have been stopped plenty since April of 2001.
Duke is the premiere college basketball program in the nation and Mike Krzyzewski is the greatest coach in the history of the sport. However, Duke hasn't been getting it done over the past four seasons, so SI shouldn't have asked if anybody can stop them, but rather, "Can Duke Get It Done?"

The Chaz Rankings: Week 10: NFC East Edition

1) Indianapolis Colts (9-0, Last Week: #1) - They aren’t nearly as dominant as Indy, but last night’s shocking come-from-behind victory puts the Cowboys firmly atop the NFC East.

2) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-2, #2) - The Giants suffered the worst loss by any NFC East team this season on Sunday, dropping a home game against the lowly Vikings on a day where Tiki Barber had more yards from scrimmage than the entire Minnesota team.

3) Carolina Panthers (7-2, #3) - Washington got hosed in Tampa and dropped to 5-4 on the season. A win would have put the Redskins in prime contention for the playoffs, but now they’re one game back of three teams in a fight for the Wild Card.

4) Denver Broncos (7-2, #4) - Donovan McNabb killed Philly’s season with his pass to Roy Williams last night.

5) Dallas Cowboys (6-3, #5) - Al Michaels and John Madden joked about how everytime ABC shows a “streak graphic” like the one last night that said the Eagles had a 36-game winning streak when up by ten or more points (longest in the NFL), it ends up getting snapped about 30 minutes later. And it’s true. They showed a similar one during the ‘Skins-Cowboys game in September which said Bill Parcells was 77-0 when his team was up by 13 or more points.

6) Seattle Seahawks (7-2, #12) - So I suppose in next week’s Packers game, John Madden will force ABC researchers to come up with every possible bad Brett Favre stat in an attempt to twist the fates in favor of Madden’s man-crush.

7) Cincinnati Bengals (7-2, #6) - Reason #3,519 People Actually Think Eli Manning Is A Good NFL Quarterback: They have to listen to idiots like Brian Baldinger. During Sunday’s game, Manning overthrew Plaxico by a good three feet, putting the ball right in the hands of Vikings safety Corey Chavous, who then dropped it. Baldinger explained the play by saying, “sometimes when Eli thinks he can’t get the ball in there, he lets it sail.” Right into the defenders hands, apparently.

8) San Diego Chargers (5-4, #7) - Manning was 23/48 with 4 interceptions on Sunday, while Tiki Barber gained 95 yards on the ground on 23 carries. I’ve harped on the Giants play-calling before, but now it’s getting ridiculous. New York was never down by more than seven points in this game, so there was no reason to heave the ball 48 teams with a subpar quarterback while Tiki Barber was running so well. It’s almost like the Giants coaches have started to believe the press on Manning and think he’s actually a good QB.

9) Jacksonville Jaguars (6-3, #14) - Part of me was almost hoping the Giants won that game, just so I could have listened to the guys on ESPN talk about how amazing Eli Manning was for leading the Giants comeback while totally ignoring the fact that he went 23/48 with 4 picks against one of the worst pass defenses in the NFC.

10) Atlanta Falcons (6-3, #9) - Just so we’re clear, Manning, the best quarterback in the NFL, now has a lower passer rating than David Carr and Kurt Warner.

11) New England Patriots (5-4, #13) - On ESPN.com last week, some schmuck on the fantasy Web site actually wrote the following sentence: “Is [Peyton Manning] even a better [fantasy] play than his brother? (Um, no.)” And this guy gets paid to write about fantasy football? Holy crap, what’s next, a 2,000 word essay extolling the virtues of starting Nate Burleson?

12) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3, #19) - A partial list of quarterbacks with a higher completion percentage than Eli “51%” Manning): Kurt Warner, Anthony Wright, David Carr, Trent Dilfer, Joey Harrington, Josh McCown, Kyle Orton, Aaron Brooks, Gus Frerotte.

13) New York Giants (6-3, #8) - When Peter King is questioning Eli Manning, you know things have gotten bad.

14) Washington Redskins (5-4, #10) - Do you think Eli will go to Best Buy today to get the new Carrie Underwood CD? I’m leaning towards “yes”.

15) Chicago Bears (6-3, #17) - Three quick Redskins thoughts:

16) Kansas City Chiefs (5-4, #11) - 1) Between getting the shaft in Tampa and the Giants getting awarded an extra home game, Joe Gibbs and the ‘Skins will have to overcome a lot to get in the playoffs.

17) Minnesota Vikings (4-5, #20) - 2) At what point will Gregg Williams realize the Redskins are unable to get any pressure on the quarterback no matter how many players they bring on a blitz? The putrid officiating would have been a moot point if Williams had backed off on the blitzes and dropped into a cover-2 in the 4th quarter. (Although, that assumes Pierson Prioleau could make a play, which, I suppose, is doubtful.)

18) St. Louis Rams (4-5, #16) - 3) The Redskins will beat the Raiders by two touchdowns this weekend at FedEx Field. If Gibbs had them ready to play after a lackadaisical effort against the Giants, just think how fired up they’ll be after having the game stolen from them in Tampa.

19) Philadelphia Eagles (4-5, #15) - Four reasons Donovan McNabb should be getting ripped in the media today:

20) Buffalo Bills (4-5, #21) - 1) Given the circumstances, the interception to Roy Williams was the worst pass thrown in the NFL this season. That’s entirely on McNabb. He led Roy Williams to the ball by staring at the spot from the instant he dropped back from center, and then put it right in his hands with his intended receiver five yards downfield. It was a terrible throw and cost the Eagles their season. My old buddy Zac Cooper just e-mailed me and said he heard Andy Reid say Reggie Brown ran the correct route on the play in question, meaning the pick was all on McNabb.

21) Detroit Lions (4-5, #24) - 2) (Get your e-mail ready Philly fans) Donovan exaggerated his injury after the pick and should have been in the game on the final drive.

22) Oakland Raiders (3-6, #18) - Let’s get this straight: Donovan can run for a short touchdown and perform a Michael Jackson-esque high leg kick during his celebration dance with a sports hernia (a kick that would surely have to strain the muscles allegedly affected by his “injury”), but after throwing a game-losing interception and getting knocked to the ground with a shove to his shoulderpads, he’s all of a sudden limping around?

23) Miami Dolphins (3-6, #22) - Every time I watch Donovan wince when he knows the camera is on him, I am in disbelief he didn’t go to college at Duke.

24) Cleveland Browns (3-6, #23) - 3) During the final drive with Mike McMahon in the game, McNabb was standing on the sidelines watching.

25) Green Bay Packers (2-7, #27) - Do you think any other quarterback in the league would have taken themselves out of the game if they were able to stand up on the sidelines following their injury? Guys like Brett Favre, Steve McNair and Eli Manning would have to be either on a stretcher, unconscious or dead to come out of a game, particularly with Mike Freakin’ McMahon as the next option. Not Donovan though. Between this and the Super Bowl, McNabb is coming across about as tough as Richard Simmons.

26) New York Jets (2-7, #30) - Re: Manning’s toughness: Once at Mississippi he was listed as questionable because he broke a nail earlier in the week.

27) Tennessee Titans (2-7, #25) - 4) Donovan doesn’t want T.O. on his team, and that’s perfectly understandable. But he better be prepared to be held responsible for the consequences of his decision (namely, guys like Reggie Brown dropping easy catches late in the game that would have put the Eagles in field goal territory).

28) Arizona Cardinals (2-7, #28) - Final NFC East Predictions:

29) New Orleans Saints (2-7, #31) - Dallas Cowboys (10-6)

30) San Francisco 49ers (2-7, #29) - Washington Redskins (9-7)

31) Baltimore Ravens (2-7, #26) - New York Giants (9-7)

32) Houston Texans (1-8, #32) - Philadelphia Eagles (8-8)

Now I Know What Julius Hodge Felt Like

Just a few thoughts from a wild NFL Sunday: Walt Harris can't cover Walt Disney, Eli Manning is even worse than I thought, Mike Nolan is even dumbe