Chris's Sports Blog NFL Preview: Day 11
NFC Preview

East

Philadelphia Eagles (10-6)
For a franchise that’s never won a Super Bowl, the Philadelphia Eagles have been awfully uppity lately.
Since the turn of the century the Eagles have been the model of consistency in the NFC, averaging 12 wins per season since 2000 (Donovan McNabb’s first as a full-time starter) and never ending the year with less than 11. They’ve won four straight NFC East titles and advanced to the NFC Championship Game in each of those seasons. But, much like the Atlanta Braves and Buffalo Bills of old, the Philadelphia Eagles have nothing to show for their half-decade of success.
Amazingly, Philly has managed to stay well under the salary cap during their run of dominance. Like their cross-state rivals, the Eagles front office is reluctant to hand out big contracts to aging veterans and prefers younger, cheaper players that are successfully plugged into holes in the depth chart, mainly on the defensive end. This hard-line approach saw Jeremiah Trotter, Hugh Douglas, Troy Vincent and Bobby Taylor leave Philly to be replaced with unknowns who have flourished in their roles in the Eagles system.
This off-season the Philadelphia brass remained tough, refusing to rework Terrell Owens contract despite his phenomenal performance in the Super Bowl. Apparently Joe Banner didn’t want to set a precedent by giving Owens more money; so the world can thank him for the endless T.O. coverage we’ve all been (and will continue to be) subjected to this summer.
During training camp the team also cut Pro Bowl D-lineman Corey Simon because of a contract dispute.
It’s clear Philly won’t be bullied around by its players and so far their tactics have paid off. But I think this is the year that the Eagles' pretension begins to come back and haunt them.
Part of me wants to believe that, as a result of their greed, Philly will go into an end-of-Goodfellas-like tailspin; becoming all paranoid about other teams, disobeying Paul Tagliabue, becoming careless with their reckless coke habit and hanging around with Joe Pesci too much, but I think that the Eagles will be harmed in more subtle ways.
Simon was the anchor of Philly’s struggling defensive line, his departure should make an
already-mediocre rush defense even more vulnerable. And we’ve already seen what an unhappy Owens can do, although I’m not as convinced that the disharmony between Owens and Donovan McNabb will be as disastrous as some people predict. It’s not like T.O. and Jeff Garcia were best friends in San Francisco, yet they still managed to make three straight Pro Bowls together.
No, Philly’s defense will be their Achilles heel this year. Since the NFL switched to the four-division format, the Eagles are an unbelievable 16-2 against their NFC East opponents. With Julius Jones, Clinton Portis and Tiki Barber in the division, the Eagles will give up a lot of yards on the ground to their rivals and will lose as many division games this year as they have in the past three combined.
Key Player: Hollis Thomas, DT - Simon’s replacement, Thomas is solid when he’s on the field, but hasn’t played a full 16-game season since 2000.
Biggest Game: November 20, at New York Giants - Beginning in October, the Eagles play five of their next seven games on the road. This pre-Thanksgiving match-up in Jersey is Philadelphia’s last game on the road until the week before Christmas. If they can survive the road trip, which takes them to Kansas City, Denver, Dallas and Washington, Philly will be well on their way to their fifth straight NFC East crown.
Playoff Chances: As close to a lock as possible - Barring injury, there’s little reason to believe Philly’s 2005 will be any different than their previous four seasons, right down to the inevitable January loss.

Washington Redskins (9-7)
Redskins preview on Friday.

Dallas Cowboys (8-8)
It’s Bill Parcells third season as Cowboys coach and Jerry Jones is restless. After a surprising 2003 campaign that included Dallas’ first playoff game in five seasons, the Cowboys regressed in 2004, plagued by an inconsistent offense and inexperienced defense.
Parcells hopes to gain stability on the offensive side with the addition of 35-year old Drew Bledsoe, a risky proposition considering Bledsoe has been nothing but a poor-man’s Brett Favre of late; an erratic, irresponsible QB who tries to force the ball into tight spots, leading to interceptions which come in bunches.
Bledsoe will be helped by an explosive young back (Julius Jones) but has limited options with a receiving corps that includes players past their prime (Terry Glenn and Keyshawn Johnson) and those who never had one (Peerless Price and Patrick Crayton)
Hmm, a young RB, weak wideouts and Drew Bledsoe? This sounds an awful lot like the Buffalo team that finished 9-7 last year despite an offense that ranked 24th in the NFL.
The Bills defense kept them in games last year, as Dallas’ will have to this season. Unfortunately for Cowboys fans, that isn’t likely to happen. Dallas plays a 3-4 defense, which is great if you have speedy, experienced linebackers, but not so good if you are starting a guy named Alshermond and a rookie from Troy (where he played next to Menelaus on the defensive line. Rimshot! Oh, you know it's gold when I'm breaking out info from Alexander the Great 352, a class in which The Wolfman wrote an eight-page paper speculating on what color the legendary general's hair was. One day I'm going to have to run excerpts from some of our history papers at Wake Forest, except that I'm afraid doing so will cause the university to revoke my degree.)
Roy Williams continues to be one of the most overrated players in the league, but as long as he keeps making big hits because he’s out of position, Williams will be a Sportscenter staple for years to come.
Even though Julius Jones seems poised to join the list of the game’s elite running backs and the addition of Marco Rivera will help a rickety offensive line, Bledsoe is enough of a liability to keep Dallas out of the playoffs in what could be Bill Parcells final year as head coach.
Key Player: Marco Rivera, G - Bledsoe is about as mobile as Stonehenge, making protection a key for the Cowboys. With lifelong-Packer Rivera aboard to solidify the line, Bledsoe could lead Dallas back to the playoffs.
Biggest Game: November 24 vs. Denver - The Cowboys end their season against three playoff contenders and two division opponents, which makes their Thanksgiving match-up with the Broncos a must-win if they want to have a shot at playing in January.
Playoff Chances: As Good As Any - The NFC is up for grabs. If a few key plays go the Cowboys way, they’ll be in the playoffs.

New York Giants (6-10)
The Giants needed help at receiver and linebacker, so in the off-season they did what most teams in the NFL would do if in a similar spot: Grossly overpay to fill the gaps.
Ernie Acorsi gave an $8 million signing bonus to an underachieving and, reportedly, lazy Plaxico Burress, who adds nothing but hype to the Giants woeful receiving corps, which means he’ll pair up nicely with Jeremy Shockey.
Burress barely contributed in his final two years in Pittsburgh when paired up with All-Pro Hines Ward. With a young quarterback and declining Amani Toomer, expect to hear even less from Plaxico.
The Giants also plucked middle linebacker Antonio Pierce away from the Redskins, giving the 14-game sensation $26 million, or nearly $2 million for each good game Pierce has played in his career.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Antonio Pierce. He was the “quarterback” of Washington’s highly-rated defense, calling out formations and sets and acting like a player-coach while on the field. I repeatedly wrote that signing Pierce was of the utmost priority for the ‘Skins this off-season.
But Pierce’s price got way too high, particularly for a player whose production tailed-off near the end of the year when opposing offenses started figuring out his game and respecting his talent. Before December, Pierce was like the rookie pitcher who baffles major league hitters because they’re unfamiliar with his stuff. After teams began accounting for him in their schemes, Pierce was nothing more than an above-average (and very bright) middle linebacker.
In a perfect world, he’d still be with the Redskins. But if the Giants were willing to overpay, Washington made the right move in not exceeding the offer. (The Redskins front office gets, and deserves, a lot of criticism, but they have yet to see a former player amount to much elsewhere.)
I’m in the vast minority that think Eli Manning won’t amount to much as a pro, but even if you think he’ll be as good as his brother, he’s still too green to lead a team to the playoffs.
Key Player: Tiki Barber, RB - While all the young guns like the Jones’ (Julius and Kevin) and Willis McGahee are grabbing headlines this season, have some love for Gotham’s excellent and underrated running backs, Barber and Curtis Martin.
Two of the classiest and most understated players in the NFL, Barber and Martin don’t get the hype but definitely deserve it.
Biggest Game: September 19 vs. New Orleans - Thanks to Paul Tagliabue, the Giants get a ninth home game in 2005 playing a home “road’ game against the displaced Saints. As a result, the G-Men will play seven of their first ten games in the Meadowlands. With Arizona in Jersey to open the season, the Giants’ Monday nighter against New Orleans could get them to 2-0 to begin the year.
Playoff Chances: Stranger Things Have Happened - The Giants aren’t bad, they just aren’t very good. A weak offensive line should stunt Eli Manning’s growth, but if they can stay healthy, there’s no reason New York can’t get to nine or ten wins and contend for a playoff berth.

North

Minnesota Vikings (10-6)
I guess I missed his coronation, but apparently Nate Burleson is one of the best receivers in the NFL. At least that’s what most major publications have been saying this off-season, awfully high praise for a guy who had less than 55 yards receiving in over half his 2004 games.
Burleson will definitely improve on those numbers as the new number one target in the Vikings pass-happy offense, but it remains to be seen how he’ll fare against opponents top corners.
In the five games Randy Moss missed last season, Burleson had less than 53 receiving yards in four of them (against the Packers miserable secondary Burleson snared 11 catches for 141 yards and a TD). I’m not saying Burleson won’t be great, I’m just saying that it’s a little premature to declare him, as Sports Illustrated did, “one of the best wideouts in the NFL."
Key Player: Daunte Culpepper, QB - You were expecting Adam Goldberg?
Biggest Game: November 27 vs. Cleveland - December 5, 2004: Chicago 24 – Minnesota 14. December 28, 2003: Arizona 18 – Minnesota 17. September 8, 2002: Chicago 27 – Minnesota 23. Every year the Vikings have at least one really bad loss, usually late in the season (which, coincidentally, is around the time Super Bowl tickets are printed… Hmmm, maybe Mike Tice is preoccupied.) This one would qualify as a really bad loss.
Playoff Chances: Solid - Somebody has to win the NFC North.

Detroit Lions (10-6)*
Part of me is hoping the Lions lose enough games to get a Top 10 draft pick, just so I can see if Matt Millen will take another receiver in the first round to prove once and for all that he’s building his team in the tradition of those that started all skinny guys in Ice Hockey on the original Nintendo.
Alas, I think this is the year all the receiver-drafting finally pays off. Yes, in spite of my better judgment, the Detroit Lions are Chris’s Sports Blog 2005 Team du Anee. (Last year that distinction was held by Byron Leftwich and the Jaguars, a team that narrowly missed the playoffs.)
I realize hitching my wagon to Joey Harrington is a little like investing in VHS futures, but Kevin Jones was fantastic last season and if he can continue to keep defenses honest, Harrington should get enough time to throw to his three big targets.
Harrington, Steve Mariucci and, especially, Millen are all on the hot seat this season and being bestowed with the coveted status as Chris's Sports Blog's Team du Anee hardly makes things any easier. Anything short of the playoffs and Millen and Harrington will likely have new jobs next year.
I think they’ll channel the ghost of Wayne Fontes, even though he’s still alive, make the playoffs and save their jobs just in time to repeat the cycle all over again in 2006.
Key Player: Joey Harrington, QB - If he struggles again this year, Harrington should really think about going by “Joe”.
Biggest Game: December 18 vs. Cincinnati - With three out of their final four games on the road, Detroit will need to win at home against the Bengals to have any shot of making the playoffs.
Playoff Chances: Come On Now… - Did you not see that I dubbed the Lions my Team du Anee? Take out your life savings, bet it on the Lions to win the whole damn thing and think of me when you’re lounging in Cabos San Lucas tipping cabana boys with hundreds of pesos earned on the strength of Joe Harrington's arm.

Green Bay Packers (8-8)
After six years of listening to The Wolfman rip on Brett Favre, his hatred of him has started to rub-off on me. Classic lines like, “do you think Brett Favre just makes up injuries now after games so he can go home and pop his painkillers and stroke his 2 day stubble? I guess the razor hasn't made it to Kiln, Mississippi yet,” can change the mind of even the most stubborn of men.
Oh, I’m still a fan of Favre – after all, who has more fun on a football field than Brett Favre – but I’m now able to wade through all the Favre-love in the media and pick up on what’s BS (most of it) and what’s not (that Favre plays the game like a little kid throwing the ball outside. He really loves football people!)
Seriously, the pro-Favre bias in the press is so strong it makes The Los Angeles Times seem balanced by comparison. Favre’s reckless style has cost the Packers numerous games in recent years and it’s shrugged off because “he’s having fun out there”. If Aaron Brooks was making those throws (actually, Aaron Brooks is making those throws, but that’s for the Saints preview), he’d be slammed in the press. But since Favre’s doing it, he’s just playing the game the way it was meant to be played.
The loss of Marco Rivera will hurt the Packers offensive line, so much so that I’m willing to make the not-so-bold prediction that Brett Favre’s record streak of 205 consecutive starts at quarterback will finally end, as will his streak of 204 consecutive games played after ingesting copious amounts of Vicodin.
Key Player: Craig Nall, QB - Parlay the Lions winning it all with Brett Favre going down in week 7 and you can move your vacation home from Cabos San Lucas to Monaco.
Biggest Game: December 25 vs. Chicago - The Bears always seem to win at Lambeau (they’ve actually won three of the past six meetings there, it just feels like it’s happened more often than that). Green Bay will have to make sure Chicago doesn’t play the Grinch on Christmas in a game that should have playoff ramifications if Favre stays healthy. Which he won’t, ‘cause he’s going down this year like Mike Tyson in Tokyo.
Playoff Chances: 50/50 - After a slow start, the Packers finished 2004 on a 9-2 tear. They managed to win a lot of close games (four of those nine wins were by three points), including a few with some serendipitous calls from the officials (the phantom illegal motion penalty which brought back a Redskins touchdown comes to mind, not that I’m bitter) en route to their fourth straight playoff berth.
The Pack don’t figure to win four close games again this year, those things have a way of evening out. After all, lightning doesn’t strike fivice (there’s once, twice and thrice. What’s the equivalent of five times? I’m going with fivice, as my man Calvin Broadus would).

Chicago Bears (4-12)
In 1985 the Chicago Bears recorded “The Super Bowl Shuffle” in November, two months before their victory in Super Bowl XX.
Twenty years later the current Chicago Bears will attempt to top that team’s bravado by recording “The #1 Overall Pick In The Draft Boogaloo” sometime before Halloween.
Key Player: Thomas Jones, RB - The UVA product figures to carry the load until Cedric Benson is ready. If he can move the chains a little, Kyle Orton might have a chance to develop into a good quarterback. If Jones can’t get it going on the ground, Kyle Orton has a good chance to develop into Patrick Ramsey.
Biggest Game: September 11 at Washington - It’s a winnable season opener for the Bears, who then head home to face Detroit and Cincinnati. A 2-1 start isn’t out of the question.
Playoff Chances: The same as Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo winning an Oscar - The Wolfman Preview: “The Bears will struggle as Kyle Orton starts at quarterback for the Bears, but he is an improvement over any of the other replacements the Bears tried in the place of Rex Grossman. As long as the offense can move the ball some, the defense should keep the Bears in most games but growing pains will probably make for a lot of close losses this year.

South

Carolina Panthers (11-5)
It’s time for a little Q&A Jeopardy-style (aka, backwards just for the sake of being backwards and for making Alex Trebek feel important when he asks for the question and not the answer).
A: He won the NFL’s Coach of the Year award in 2004.
Q: Marty Schottenheimer
How are we doing so far? Wishing I had gone for a straight lead instead of this gimmicky Jeopardy one? Me too. Too late, we've come too far to turn back now.
A: He should have won the NFL’s Coach of the Year award in 2004.
Q: John Fox
After their Cinderella-run to the Super Bowl in 2003, the Carolina Panthers were decimated by injuries early in their 2004 campaign. Steve Smith broke his leg in week one and season-ending injuries to Stephen Davis and Kris Jenkins followed. With a difficult opening schedule adding to Carolina’s woes, the team began their defense of their NFC title with a 1-7 record.
Somehow, with Nick Goings in the backfield and unheralded rookie Keary Colbert starting at receiver, John Fox coached the Panthers to a respectable 7-9 record and put them in position to continue their late-2004 run into this season.
Jenkins and Smith are back in 2005 (but Muhsin Muhammad, who had one of the most productive WR seasons in history, left via free agency) and Davis will be eventually, if he can ever get healthy. And with the addition of ex-Redskin Rod Gardner, Carolina gains a receiver who once caught three passes in a row without dropping a single one. Honest!
Key Player: Stephen Davis’ knee and DeShaun Foster’s foot - As much as I like Nick Goings (and I like him, but not as much as my buddy Horo who once started Goings and the immortal Jamel White in a late-season fantasy football game he was trying to win), he’s not going to lead the Panthers back to the Super Bowl. In order for the Panthers to get back on track after a disastrous 2004, one of their main backs has to stay healthy for the entire schedule.
Biggest Game: September 18 vs. New England - A Super Bowl XXXI – oh, who am I kidding, I lost track of what Super Bowl we're on years ago. A rematch of the 2004 Super Bowl (doesn’t that work better for everybody?), this early game will show if all the Panthers hype (Dr. Z has Carolina winning it all) is justified.
Playoff Chances: Mostly Sunny - Even without Davis or Foster, Carolina will still make a run at the playoffs. But John Fox would rest a lot easier at night if either of those players can stay on the field.

Atlanta Falcons (10-6)*
The NFL gave Ron Mexico and the Falcons three Monday Night games this year, the same number they had in 2003 when the aforementioned Mexico was out with a broken leg. Let’s just say that when those games were on, Yes, Dear never looked more promising.
Here's hoping Mr. Mexico stays healthy, for Al Michaels sake at least - you know how John Madden gets during meaningless late-season games.
With the bizarre release of Peerless Price, who was hardly a great receiver but much better than anyone on the roster, Michael Vick won't have any legitimate targets to throw to, which will lead to another mediocre season that will be overlooked because of his unbelievable highlight reel.
Vick gets all the publicity because he’s the most electric player in the game, but his skills at quarterback have seemingly regressed since he entered the league. He doesn’t set his feet before he throws, doesn’t check-off receivers and gets sacked way too much for somebody so quick. His passing stats are miserable, but Vick supporters say those don’t matter and point to his 24-12-1 record as a starter as the only important statistic. As I’ve said time and again, a quarterback’s record is largely dependent on his team’s defense and Vick’s is no different.
The Falcons D has done more for Michael Vick’s reputation than his own scintillating footwork has. Without them, Vick’s career record wouldn’t be nearly as good as it is. The Falcons MVP in 2004 was Rod Coleman, not the team's QB.
Vick is a threat every time he touches the ball and remains one of the most potent weapons in the NFL. If you read this blog regularly, you'll know that I rip Vick all the time. I do that because he could, one day, become just as good as everyone thinks he could be (or already thinks he is). If Vick improved ever-so-slightly as a passing quarterback, he would be among the best players in the NFL. As it is, he’s simply a product of hype and speed. And until he shows the capabilities that 75% of NFL quarterbacks have, he’ll never be anything more.
Key Player: Alge Crumpler, TE - Q: What do Dez White and Michael Jenkins have in common? A: Sucking. Yeah, there was no joke there. They are just really, really bad.
How is it possible that a team with the most explosive quarterback in the game is going into their season opener starting a guy with seven career receptions and another who was deemed expendable by the Bears? This is like the Yankees beginning their year with Tony Womack at second base. It’s inexplicable. Bobby Cox could manage the Falcons better than this. And is it just me, or do you wanna punch Jim Mora Jr. every time you see his smug face on your TV screen?
Biggest Game: September 12 vs. Philadelphia - Do the Eagles ever have Monday night games in Philly? It's traditional for a defending conference champion to open up with a home game in primetime, not to travel to a difficult dome for their opening tilt. What did Andy Reid do to deserve this, drunkenly hit on Paul Tagliabue's wife at the NFL Christmas party a few years back?
Playoff Chances: Solid - The Falcons aren’t very good, but luckily for them and their fickle fans, neither is the rest of the NFC.

New Orleans Saints (8-8)
If this were a fairy tale, the nomadic Saints would put together a magical season and bring a brief jolt of happiness to the people of their flooded city. Of course, if this were a fairy tale, Jim Haslett would have been eaten by a wolf long ago.
Key Player: Aaron Brooks, QB - His arm is as good as they come, but Brooks makes worse decisions than Ben Affleck’s agent.
Deuce McAllister and Joe Horn are two potential All-Pro’s, but unless Brooks can chill out a bit, the Saints will once again finish the season .500.
Biggest Game: September 19 vs. New York Giants (in New Jersey)- You would think the NFL would have some compassion for the Saints after Hurricane Katrina, but instead they quickly moved their home opener to New York to give the Giants another home date and a primetime game in New York, which will undoubtedly provide a spike in the ratings.
Playoff Chances: Hopeful - People who don’t follow sports don't understand what a successful Saints season would do for the people of New Orleans. It won’t save any lives or bring anybody’s home back, but for three hours every Sunday the team will provide an escape, win or lose, from the sobering reality that everyone affected by Hurricane Katrina will have to deal with for the foreseeable future.
If you haven’t donated money, clothing, supplies or time to the relief effort, please consider doing so. And whether you decide to or not, come Sundays this fall, root for the Saints just on the off-chance that it will make a few people’s dark days a little brighter. And I’m not just saying that because I have Aaron Brooks and Joe Horn on my fantasy team.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-11)
Boy, the shine sure came off Jon Gruden’s star, didn’t it? Wasn’t it just two years ago Gruden was the Super Bowl winning boy-genius and the poster child for 130-hour work-weeks? Now where has it gotten him? Back-to-back losing seasons with another on the horizon.
On the bright side, the Bucs have a star-in-the-making with Michael Clayton and a running back so powerful they named him after a full-sized luxury car brand.
Key Player: Cadillac Williams, RB - If Cadillac is more Escalade than Catera, the Bucs could be the surprise of the NFC.
Biggest Game: October 2 vs. Detroit - The Bucs open up with a brutal schedule (at Minnesota, vs. Buffalo, at Green Bay) and will, at best, enter their week four contest with Detroit with a 1-2 record. The difference between 2-2 and 1-3 is huge, much like the difference between other car insurance companies and Geico.
Playoff Chances: Mostly Cloudy - With Atlanta and Carolina in division, it will be tough for the Bucs to sneak into the third Wild Card slot.

West

St. Louis Rams (9-7)
It seems like ages ago, but in the first six games of the 2000 season the St. Louis Rams offense appeared to be totally unstoppable? Fresh-off their Super Bowl win and playing under new head coach Mike Martz, the Rams scored an astounding 262 points in their first six games, including dropping 102 in a two-week stretch against the Chargers and Falcons. In their Monday Night opener, Torry Holt and Az-Zahir Hakim were shouting to each other as they ran down the field; Holt en route to a touchdown. That was also the night the Rams broke out the best group touchdown celebration since the Fun Bunch; The Prowl. When the NFL banned the celebration two weeks later some thought it was the only way anybody was going to stop the Rams all season. Seriously. In October of 2000 it was inconceivable to think that the Rams would ever lose another football game.
But then Mike Martz’s ego took over.
He stopped calling plays for his superstar, Marshall Faulk, seemingly hell-bent on proving that it was he and not Faulk who was the reason for the Rams success. Defenses dropped more men back in coverage and the once-perfect Kurt Warner began throwing as many interceptions as touchdowns. Soon after, Warner broke his hand and Trent Green, the man Warner replaced just 14 months before, stepped in to guide the Rams sinking ship. After starting 6-0, the team ended the year on a 4-6 slide. A Wild Card loss to the Saints ended the team’s once-promising season.
(An aside: Clearly, the Rams defense played a huge role in the team’s decline. They finished 24th in the NFL (down from 7th the year before) and were a clear liability. But, Martz’s ridiculous play-calling didn’t help matters. Had he run Faulk more, his defense wouldn’t have had to be on the field so much.)
The Rams bounced back to finish 14-2 in 2001, but were again done in by Martz’s ridiculous play-calling in the Super Bowl when he refused to utilize Faulk once again.
My point: Mike Martz is an idiot and if anyone else had been coaching the Rams since Dick Vermeil retired, the team would have two or three rings.
Key Player: DeJuan Groce, CB - Cornerback has always been a weak position in St. Louis. If this team wants to have any chance of making a run in the playoffs, Groce and Travis Fisher will have to improve their play.
Biggest Game: October 9 vs. Seattle - This game caps a remarkably easy opening stretch for the Rams (at San Fran, at Arizona, vs. Tennessee, at NYG). Win this week and St. Louis could find itself at 4-1 headed into their big showdown at Indianapolis the following week.

Arizona Cardinals (7-9)
This is the year the Arizona Cardinals will put it all together. I mean it, this is the year.
Yeah, I know this is what people say every time a coach makes it to his second year in the desert, it happened with Dave McGinnis, Vince Tobin and Joe Bugel too. But this is different.
Kurt Warner, refreshed, no doubt, by the cool desert breeze rustling through his flattop, will reenergize his sagging career, buoyed by a young corps of receivers.
After seeing a huge improvement in 2004, the defense is ready to make the jump into the upper-echelon units in the league.
The good people of Arizona have been waiting 17 years for a winner and this year they’ll finally get one.
Key Player: J.J. Arrington, RB - Without a rushing attack, Kurt Warner might crack the magical 10 fumbles in a game barrier he threatened a few years ago.
Biggest Game: December 11 vs. Washington - I’m watching the Agassi-Blake match, but I have it on mute because listening to John McEnroe isn’t conducive to NFL previewing. Anyway, USA keeps showing this old Spanish guy (who kind of resembles Edward James Olmos) decked out in a black suit. He looks like one of those guys who poses as a member of a mariachi band, but actually has a machine gun in his case instead of la guitarra. I can’t figure out whether he’s with James Blake or if he’s just sitting in front of a lady I’m assuming to be James Blake’s mom. Every time this guy comes on screen I grab the remote to turn the volume up, but by the time I do, he’s off the screen. I guess I'm just confused why a crazy, wild-eyed Spaniard is wearing a pinstriped suit while sitting alone at courtside of the U.S. Open? Can anybody solve this mystery for me? Note: I just figured out that it's Agassi's coach who is sitting near the Olmos look-alike, hence all the shots of him. But this still doesn't clear up who the hell he is.)
Playoff Chances: Slim - You didn’t actually believe what I wrote up there, did you? That stuff just seemed like what I should say when talking about the Cardinals.

Seattle Seahawks (6-10)
I’m kind of running out of things to say about the idiocy of Mike Martz, the overratedness of Michael Vick and my man-crush on Peyton Manning, so I’m going to beat some new stuff into the ground this NFL season, starting with the following: Shaun Alexander and LaDainian Tomlinson aren’t all that.
Key Player: Peter Warrick, WR - Naw, I’m just kidding.
Biggest Game: January 1 at Green Bay - Call it poetic justice, “two McFly’s with the same gun.” Wait, let me try again, “Mike Holmgren’s last game in Seattle will be in the place he made his name.”

San Francisco 49ers (2-14)
In Mike Nolan’s four seasons as Giants defensive coordinator, the team went from the 4th ranked defense in his first season to 16th in his last.
In Mike Nolan’s three seasons as Redskins defensive coordinator the team went from the 16th ranked defense in his first season to 29th in his last.
In the three seasons before Mike Nolan became Ravens defensive coordinator, the team’s defense was ranked #2, #1 and #4. In 2002, Nolan’s first season at the helm, his defense plummeted to 22nd in the NFL.
No wonder Nolan was such a hot coaching commodity this off-season.
Mike Nolan, as he has done in every coaching stop during his career, will fail as 49ers head coach. Mark it down: By 2008 Nolan will be out of a job.
Key Player: Shawntae Spencer, CB - Simply because it gives me, and other Wake Forest alums, great pleasure to see S. Spencer on an NFL depth chart.
Biggest Game: November 13 at Chicago - There aren’t too many possible W’s on the Niners schedule.
Playoff Chances: Two words: Mike Nolan - I feel I’ve been quite clear on this matter.